Week 13
32.5 UK Units (18.5 US) 3AF
Well units creeping back up again. Still not as high as a few weeks ago. I realise that despite reading this site i suppose i had the begining of sept in my mind for significant changes to have occurred. I thought that as my units were within the range of the study my extinction progress might be too. ho Hum! I still continue to have mini experiences of change. Went to work dinner last friday and for the first time drank less than a lot of my colleagues. Found it wierd noticing how tipsy some of my colleagues were- in the past i was too pissed to notice their drinking -ha! Social drinking situations seem to be easier for me. My biggest trigger is being fed up at home alone but sat night i noticed the same phenomenon others have mentioned. I was feeling low cos of a painful anniversary and decided i better take my Nal, then a friend phoned and i realised after a couple of hours i hadn't yet drunk so i thought i'd better open a bottle of wine. I was thinking well ill just have a glass- the first one went down very slowly but once i got past the second i finished the bottle and was really annoyed with myself. I have noticed other people report this thing of pushing past an initial disinclination to drink I wonder what thats about?
I feel like i'm punching time with TSM although generally my mood is way better than when i started. I am back at work and all my visitors are gone so i will have more AF days and more of a structure in my life. I am very reluctant to go down the route of some of the other binge drinkers and drink every day to enhance extinction.

You're doing great Soulby! (Sorry - I had originally directed this post to AJ by accident) Don't even try to figure out why when your drinking spikes - you'll just drive yourself nuts, and it really is just part of the process. Lots of ups and downs are typical, and the timeframe will be different for everyone. The important thing is that you're noticing changes, and that means it's WORKING. So does realizing that you're the least drunk one in the room sometimes! Party on!

I am also pushing past the the initial uncomfortable feeling to keep on drinking and have no idea why. Just last night, I started feeling buzzed with a glass and half of wine, so I put the glass down, waited around 20 minutes for the feeling to go away, then finished the glass. Usually, or prior to TSM, as soon as I felt buzzed, I would just be on my merry way, usually to regrets later... now I don't like that initial feeling yet keep going.

Maybe the cured can address this in more detail.. is that feeling why you lose interest in continued drinking?

good idea Virginia maybe we should post a Q in questions for the cured.
Thanks Krazy- i do know i need to be patient!! Its just not my strong suit Being on my own and in a low mood seems still to be my biggest trigger but in the last week i have been feeling much better 'in myself' as we say here. Largely thanks to amino acid supplements i think so hopefully that should help.
AJ - have just arranged time off work to go to your part of the world and visit my daughter at end of Nov so i really hope i am 'cured' by then so i can talk to her about her drinking and TSM.

soulby - your progress is quite impressive IMO - there is a definite downward trend, and quite significant IMO. I predict you'll be over the finish line in another 8 weeks or less.

Did you get your new order from alldaychemist by the way? I might give them a try for my refill if they worked out ok for you.

This sounds like progress, gf! I think on a major level, we are THINKING about our drinking in a different way than ever before. We are doing something & taking stock of what is going on.

I really think this is MAJOR. I never counted my drinks until now. I never really thought about how I was feeling, except "do I want another one", why or why not, etc before now. Even if this drug doesn't work for me (a remote thought!!), I think a good thing is I am really aware of when,where,why and how many I am drinking than ever before.

When I do go away from this board, I sometimes wonder if I am living in a fantasyland. "Did I say what I think I said?" ACK!!!..who am I kidding/ those people are not living my life in my skin. They are all supportive, but the fact is, I get DRUNK!!!!! I have 5 -6 glasses of wine, I am foggy, I am not at my best, I should go to bed but I stay up late...And I HATE IT!!! I maintain, I am highly functioning, but I don't get enough sleep, I am sluggish from the AL & UGH - failure thoughts settle in...

I just think I am finally trying to take a pro-active stance with my little problem. The fact we are doing something is huge, and I am keeping a journal in case something extreme should happen to me. Then people will not be able to criticize me for being an ignorant drinker...instead will say, "she was trying to get better" .

Oh happy day. LOL manana

Hi 1-4 Houtx
Thanks for the encouragement! Yes 1-4 got stuff form allday on mon. much quicker in the end. Basically there is a problem with customs between india and ireland so they have to send them via the us. it takes a bit longer. but if you plan well it should be ok and is worth it cos of price. As it happens i discovered i had stashed 1 0r 2 emergency nal tabs in coat pockets!
Houtx - you know this thing about being high functioning- well now that i am feeling generally better i realise there is a difference between working hard at being high functioning and functioning well cos its coming from within- if that makes sense!