Ha! Thanks Kris! It might not, but 1.5 liters of port of sure as hell can!

Lo0p,

KrazyKris put it great. If you fightt the good fight, you will win. The other S**T will be managable when you are curred. BTW - my nickname as a child was Loop, so I feel a connection to you beyond our boozer history.

Regards,
Tom

NALTREXONE + DRINKING = CURE.
CURED WK 17

http://www.thesinclairmethodworks.info/

Loop

I've just read your thread, and I'm sorry for your pain. I'm going to give you my opinion straight out - thats the kind of person I am. So please just treat it as another opinion in a range you're being given - one of which is your therapist. Only you can weight these opinions, and come to a decision.

Here is my 2c worth:

You care deeply for this girl, and she seems to care for you. Alcohol has been a major fact (but maybe not the only one - there is rarely just one) in this breakup. You seem to implicitly accept blame for this (and maybe correctly) breakup. In any case, now is not the time to get defensive with your girl. You feel there is real hope there that you two will get back together, and that is fine - it is a big positive and a huge incentive for you. Now the hard part. If the relationship is over (even temporarily) then what she does is no business of yours - and I use the word business advisedly. If either (or both) of you are moving out, then you're done with this house you were renting. If she wants to stay there, she pays. If she can't then you both sublet or face down the landlord. I am very concerned by the phrase 'and this was the only way I could get her to stay'. F**k that (apologies to readers of sensitive disposition).

Your next move: You write her a heartfelt letter telling her of your love for her. Apolgoising for the hurt you have caused her. Thanking her for forcing you to face up to your problem. Promising to commit to the process (TSM) to solve your problem. Expressing a hope that you can have another shot when you're cured. Outlining how it would be best if you broke your ties from each other till that point. Sign the letter and seal it. Keep it for three days. Reflect on its content. At the end of that time be sure that it truly expresses your feelings. Repeat this cycle if necessary until you're happy that you have a such a letter and you're still happy with its contents three days after writing it. Then send it. And cut her off. Completely. Cold Turkey. Focus on your TSM and on other aspects of your life. Make you a better you (which TSM will help immeasurably). By all means think of her, and dream of a future life together during this time. But DON'T contact her. If she gets in touch with you, you need a plan. Rehearse various scenarios so you are able to deal with it as calmly and dispassionately as possible. Regarding your own TSM progress the positive news is that you've a lower consumption and a much shorter history than many on here. You also suggest a strong and motivated character. These are reasons to be optimistic that your journey won't be an especially long one.

In 3,4,5 or whatever number of months it takes, you'll be on the cured list. You'll have a whole new outlook on life and a far healthier way of living it. Then you make contact and let nature take its course. It may be that the spark is gone, it may be that she doesn't want you anymore, or that you don't want her anymore. But if your relationship is ever going to work, you'll have given it everything you could and can stand back and be proud of your journey, and have no regrets over the efforts you've made.

Good luck sir.

Thank you. You're right about that probably being the best thing to do except that I have an obligation to protect my parents credit too. This situation just sucks.

But I may get a reprieve, I am leaving on Monday for Burningman! http://www.burningman.com I go every year and I will go every year until the day I die. Whenever I go I have the time of my life.



This tower is over 100 feet tall:






Then they blew it up. This flame ball (they were attempting a world record) is 4-500 feet high! I was 1 1/2 miles away when they blew it up. It rocked the earth and looked like an atomic bomb!:


50,000 freaks getting their groove on, you can see it on google earth. This shot is from 8000ft above the city:


So much art, so much culture, amazing people, incredible life transforming experiences. It is my home.

Then, of course, there's the man. We burn him down on Saturday night:


He's usually about 80ft tall.

forget burning man, and leave your parents out of this.

You and your (ex) gf have the lease. It is up to to the two of you between you to work it out. She wanted out - fine. Let her take the consequences. At most you should be paying half. Anything more than that, you're taking it up the you know where

I wish I could but they are cosigners and the LL is a jerk and I'd wager hes the litigious type. Going to the burn is part of my cure.

See you people in a week!!!

Be careful not to do any shots near burning man.

Have a great trip!

Yikes! Didn't I catch the end of a movie on tv once with Nicholas Cage where they burned him along with the stick man?