Nick,

I am glad that you are seeing progress in my posts. It is hard for me to see it at times. Especially when it feels like I'm using Nal as an excuse to drink and then don't retain control over the amount. And my husband will drink to keep me company but then he really regrets it - he seems to have a lower tolerance than me and I'm better at pretending that I don't have a hangover (an illusion??) So I have that guilt going on too..

Your posts are so thoughtful and encouraging... thanks.

You are welcome. I am struck by the fact that, for most members, TSM "success" appears to be entirely dictated by decreased numbers alone. Numbers alone are OVERRATED. How about quality of life? For you, a 50% reduction in days suffering a hangover. This is a HUGE TSM benefit, one that I share with you and conclusive proof that TSM is working for you. Let's examine this a bit further. On a hangover day, I go to work, show up, and do only the most menial tasks, saving anything that causes me stress or to think for another day when I'm not either too head-achey or anxious from the booze to deal with it. On a non-hangover day, I basically tackle each challenge with a "bring it on" attitude. I used to have at least one, if not two, hangover days per week where I was basically worthless. Now I have none. So, my productivity at work has literally increased 20 to 40%, but my numbers are still comparable to pre-TSM. I also have no blackouts and no longer act like the town drunk at each and every social gathering. Are these facts included in my numbers? Of course not. And are these facts causing me to have a life that is a thousand times better and more fulfilling than my life pre-TSM? Absolutely yes! So, the moral of the story is that people should not just look at the numbers alone when assessing progress under TSM. Other quality-of-life indicators are, every bit as, if not more, important.

Hi Virginia - Nick is right ...especially at the stage you are at, the glimmers of the Nal working will not always be reflected in your numbers. I used to write down stray positive thoughts I would have to get me through...things that seemed to difficult for me to do pre-TSM. I remember posting once that I volunteered to make cookies at school - which sounds ridiculous, but I was always too hung over to even think about it before.


Maybe you could start journaling every day? It helps you get through this and it will be amazing to look back in a few months to see how far you've come. It really helped me put things in perspective...because the #'s don't tell the whole story -- until you are cured : ).

Keep going - you are doing great!

You're right - sometimes it is the small stuff. Went out last night and had 4 glasses of wine and actually didn't feel the need to go to another bar for a final nightcap.. Came home and watched a movie (which I remember) and now I'm able to get some work done. Can sometimes pretend to work on a Saturday but today, I'm actually sharp and making real progress.

This feels really good

And great suggestion on keeping a journal to note the small victories..

Totally get the cookies thing - I'm hoping to one day make it to church and not be hungover..

Too funny -- maybe we should have a fex extra columns on our progress charts: next to # of units:

# of movies remembered, # of cookies baked

Enjoy the weekend - you are not alone in this

Week 9 - units down a little overall and only 1 AF day due to a hangover.

2 nights in a row of only having 3 drinks but it was because I was trying to avoid a hangover and nothing else.

Feeling mildly depressed, think it's partially because the Nal is almost always in my system. Was reading other posts where they take less than 50 because they'll be drinking only over a couple of hours. 95% of the time, I'm only drinking from 6 - 9. would love to cut my dose but am afraid to do that before I'm cured. I've just accepted that while going through this process, other enjoyable aspects of my life are diminished.. work-outs are boring, being sociable is forced, more short-tempered at work.. obsessed with reading new posts here which means I constantly have my alcoholism on my mind which makes me remember too many alcohol induced shameful events in the past - and more ashamed when I succumb now.. feeling guilty over what I've subjected my family to.. I'm not the mom or wife that I want to be.. ok - full pity party going on now, better stop...

Hi Virgina
I am only anout 3 weeks ahead of you. I recently cut my intake to 25mg cos my supplier messed up the order and i am in danger of being left short. I tend to drink between 8pm and 12. I don't drink every day. Nonetheless i found that my mood was better since reducing nal- i am rarely down after an evening drinking even when i drink way more than i planned. If you look at another recent thread on dosage Nick and i think poss Netty have managed on 25mg and Netty is one of the 'cured'. Might be worth considering.
Hang in there- the oldies all say that this period can be difficult with not a lot of change in sight.

I did see Nick and Netty's thread about reducing the dosage - just scared to do that right now in case it slows the cure down. Probably a completely illogical thought but logic isn't my strength right now. Will try it when I see true signs of progress... need to get my good mood back.

Do you intend to go back to 50 or stay at 25?

Thanks!

Hi Virginia,

I won't speak as to what you should do about the dosage, except that I can understand your hesitation to vary from the standard protocol, especially if you've not seen changes yet. In my case, I would have wanted to go UP in that situation, but it's hard to say if that would have made a difference. All I know is that I eventually got results, but slowly.

The depression you speak of was a normal part of the process for me - remembering all I've lost and the destruction I've caused because of alcohol. I think this is a typical phase. I would suggest that when those feelings hit, try to turn them around. Remember, you are now doing something POSITIVE to fix this mess in your life. Pat yourself on the back instead of beating yourself up. God knows Nal has nothing to do with our ability to hate ourselves because of alcohol - we were all experts at that long before we got here. Just keep the faith and you'll get there. It may be a long ride, but your life is going to improve if you don't give up. We're all here for you!

Virginia -- If you have any hesitancy at all about reducing the dosage then I think it's wise to err on the side of caution. I think Kris is right: Many of us are confronting our drinking history for the first time with a brutal honesty that we could not afford to have when we did not see a solution. That, and the depression and anxiety that alcohol overuse causes, can leave us miserable at times. The future is bright. Hang on to that thought in your head when you don't feel it in your heart.