Virgil's Progress

Virgil · **Posted:** Thu Aug 20, 2009 7:59 am

WaitingToExhale wrote:

Vigil - I'll kick your arse if you'll kick mine! HA!

This is a tough spot to be in and I am right behind you just a few weeks. But there really is only two realities:

1) The odds are in our favor - BIG TIME.

2) We are learning that for some of us it will be a longer road. Period.

3) We can choose to drink and be crazy and not do anything about it - or we can carry on with this path and take our Nal one hour before. (OK, that's 3!) It's not like we have to go attend meetings that make us feel bad, white knuckle through the day or any other thing we have felt uncomfortable with in the past - we simple need to stay the course.

This is science "behind the scenes". Let's remind one another of that during the tough patches, because it IS happening for both of us.

Hugs!

Hi WTE,

Thanks for your reply and words of support - I really need support at the moment as I'm on a bit of a downer. In principle, I agree with what you have said. However, the article to which Kris pointed me has got me seriously thinking and I feel she has done me a great favour by flagging this up. So, I'm going to contact my doctor, send him a copy of the link, and ask him about getting the blood test done and then, if necessary, increase my naltrexone dose.

Oh, and big hugs to you - from 5478 miles away! (Where would we be without the internet?).

V.

Virgil · **Posted:** Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:15 am

happy4once wrote:

Hi Virgil - I would hate for you to give up after being patient for so long. Perhaps up the dose as Kris suggested.

I was ironically thinking about you last night - (hopefully that's not too creepy, I was thinking about several members here - I was just thinking about whose success stories I would love to read and how much patience you in particular have and how, even though you are still drinking at high levels, you never express any anger or much (if any) frustration on this board. One of the few well-spoken, even-tempered individuals here

.)

I sent a silent prayer that this would work for you soon. We all deserve this cure and while I can't comment on whatever failures you see in your personal life, on this board you are still viewed as a success for your incredible spirit and thoughtful responses.

I really, really believe that it just takes additional time for those whose addictions are more firmly rooted in their brains. If you do decide to stop or seek another treatment plan, I hope that you still stay with us. I would miss your posts. I'm hoping, like WTE said, that you stick with it (very good list of reasons, WTE). I can tell you from the other side that if I had had to do this for a year and ended up where I am now, it would still be worth it. It's totally unbelievable, Virgil - I just have zero zero zero connection with alcohol at this point. And I am very confident that the feeling is permanent.

I sincerely believe you (& WTE & LaBear & elf & Kris & houtx & Lena & everyone else) will be here eventually - it will just take more time for you because your addiction is more pronounced. But once you are here, it's done. Cured. For good.

Easy for me to say - but hang in there, give it a bit more time. And thanks for sticking with this for so long!

Hi H4O,

What can I say? You have brought a tear to my eye! Such kind, kind words. You have made me feel better about myself - thank you, thank you, thank you! I am going to check out the increased dose of naltrexone - Kris's article strikes me as being very important.

All the very best to you!

V.

minneapolisnick · **Joined:** Tue May 19, 2009 2:17 pm **Posts:** 1793

Hey V --

I don't have a lot to add to these incredibly great, supportive posts, other than to say "I agree 100%." And I do have one observation and that is this: I see a lot of really, really, smart people who are operating under the fog of alcohol and therefore are operating at a small fraction of our true potential. (I include myself on this list -- not the "really, really smart" part, but definitely operating at a fraction of my potential.) I also see people who suffer from "stinkin' thinkin' " because alcohol is a depressant and truly warps our perceptions of ourselves. Judging by the thoughtfulness and quality of your posts, it's clear to me that you are a highly intelligent fellow who has a Hell of a lot to offer, period. I have no idea what you are doing professionally, but I'll bet you this:

1) Whatever you are doing, you will do it twice as good when the fog of alcohol is lifted; and
2) Whatever you are doing, you are probably doing it quite well, but the fog of alcohol makes you feel like you are inadequate, when, in fact, YOU ARE NOT.

So, keep your chin up, up the dosage, and know we are all rooting like crazy for you here.

Nick

Virgil · **Posted:** Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:57 am

Hi Nick,

Thanks to you, too. Such kind words. My spirit is lifting.

One of these days, I will reveal my profession. The only reason I haven't disclosed it, to date, is to maintain anonymity.

I've sent the article to my doctor (the one that Kris kindly provided the link for) so I now await his response.

Thanks again.

V.

lena · **Joined:** Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:07 pm **Posts:** 929

Virgil -- Oops, how careless of me. I didn't mean to take you lightly. Still, at week 23, you are still at the point where others have been on the verge of success. I echo the sentiments of Happy: You are steady, kind, patient, generous. We are fortunate to have you here.

Virgil · **Posted:** Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:20 pm

Thanks, Lena, for your moving words.

V.

houtx · **Joined:** Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:39 pm **Posts:** 872

Virgil - don't you DARE stop using NAL at this point. If you give up I will personally reach into this screen and strangle you! We have spoken privately, and you know I know how you feel. I have my "doubts' everyday, but am religiously taking it and hoping Nick is right, it does make sense that the longer & harder we've been drinking the longer it will take this to kick in...

But I am questioning the more than 50mg dose. I upped mine for about 2 wks, didn;t feel a diference and reading other posts, revisiting what the Drs said, that 50mgs should cover the receptors in most people, went back to the original doseage. PLus, its a matter of supply...I have not read that article yet and will do so right after I post this.

I have an appt w/ my Dr. next week and am thinking I want to try and actually be a psyche patient instead of just going in there for 15 minutes and saying I'm doing fine, blahblahblah, and he writes me another Rx. I haven't exactly been drinking more, but it's been hitting me harder for some reason. Don't know what that's all about, but I sure would like the fog to be lifted!!

Not to redirect this to be about me, but I identify w/ your frustration, Virg & want you to know, as you of course do, that I am in it with you. Hang in, as I will...am going to read the article and comment more later. It will be ok. Be strong & me too! :-))

houtx · **Joined:** Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:39 pm **Posts:** 872

I just read the article and am going to talk to my DR next week about upping my doseage. He will probably suggest a blood test, which I actually want (I've been on an antioxidant supplement the last month and want to see how much I've reversed the aging process per the 30-day claims. Seriously - and only a blood/urine test will tell) So will kill 2 birds.

I think it's pretty obvious there are some of us more "resistant" than others...and surely at 6 months we should have had some kind of inkling/reduced cravings. So this article speaks to me and I am going to give it to my Dr and hope for a renewed hope the next leg of this "journey"...

Will be interesting to see what your doc says, Virg. Hope you are feeling better - I am! :-)

Lenore · **Joined:** Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:36 am **Posts:** 24

Hi...I'm new, but I've lurked here for awhile. I've taken nal at 50 mg everyday for about three months, and about three weeks ago I bumped it up to 75 mg (along with adding a low dose antidepressant). I haven't had more than two glasses of wine in a day since the increase. It was more of a struggle for me to limit the amount of wine at 50 mg. And before nal, I almost always finished the bottle. I appreciate the article that KK posted...thanks.

eight days a week · **Posted:** Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:54 am

Virgil I'm really sorry to hear that you haven't had as much encouragement as you'd hoped for by this stage. As you know I'm pretty new here, and know far, far less about all this than many of you, but I do so hope that a major shift is just around the corner. The dose angle sounds really promising as a possible next step having read the article, but even without that the light could suddenly flicker on in a month or two, couldn't it?

Rooting for you, and as always with a keen eye on your progress, and with all good wishes

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