It all still tastes good to me...

The trend continues! Hope against hope, I seem to be headed consistently in the right direction. And I'm really seeing the quality of life start to improve as well. I'm feeling good in the mornings, getting more work done. I'm really starting to see new possibilities for my life.

I cannot tell you all how tempting it is to start waving the checkered flag and add myself to the cured list, however I'm not quite there yet. My criteria for being cured are that I will be able to drink like a "normal" person. Most importantly, I should be able to have one or two and then stop without willpower. The times I choose should be appropriate, i.e. over dinner, with friends, or even a glass of wine by myself now and again, as I am a solitary type, but I should never just sit by myself and get hammered for no reason. It's just not appropriate to the new me. Also I should not be having alcohol-driven thoughts during the day, as I have more important things to think about. These are my criteria for being cured.

I will say that I am no longer a problem drinker, which is HUGE! My levels are down to where I am happy with them. My behavior is completely under control when I drink, and my life has turned around for the better. Because of this I declare TSM to be a total success in my case.

I'm also considering what SR, Bob and Q have said about being CURED!!: that it is not quite what they expected. I may have to change my criteria as I learn more. For now I'm just going to wait and see . . .

This week I'm doing my chart as a weekly, because it really shows the roller-coaster effect.

Cheers all, and good luck

thanks for posting this firebird

My levels haven't shown much response (a bit of a spike if anything ) - I'm about 9 weeks in. It is great to see the progress of those who've already endured the spikes and falls along the way

FB:

Fantastic news my friend. I'm so happy for you. It sounds like it will only be a matter of a brief time before I happily add you to the list of THE CURED.

EEyuuuch!! I tried to drink tonight. Nausea, boredom, disgust was the result. I'll reach for my wine for another swig, but yuck, I want it in theory, but really it is grossing me out. I'm going to bed. When will the time come when I won't even think that drinking is a good idea?

Since last night was such a good time, I decided to drink again tonight. I got a late start after dinner with my GF. It took about an hour to get through the first beer, and then I added wine. Same story tonight as last night: nauseated, bored. The drinks taste OK, I guess but the effect is really lacking its luster.

Even if I make it through this last beer, I will have had only 4.5 drinks, which is a new record low for me on a non AF night. Woo hoo, though it was supposed to be more fun than this. Maybe I can relearn how to enjoy those few drinks I seem to be able to endure these days.

The good news is that this is DEFINITEY working for me. There is nothing subtle, speculative or kinda-sorta about the switch that has been flipped with me. My body and physical brain are way ahead of my emotional and mental spirit, which would like to parr-tay! Anyway, it's not happening, so I'm headed for bed.

A lot of updates for me lately, I know, but I think that I am just right on the edge of cure. Now am I really mentally prepared for it?

This is FANTASTIC. And very fascinating to me. I can relate to this. As the grip of alcohol is reducing and I'm around other people who are partying, I am starting to wonder if when I'm completely cured, whether I will wish that I could drink and party with my pals like I did before. In other words, I think it might be possible to have zero craving, but to watch others drinking hard and having a good time and wishing you could drink and reach the buzz at their level. Not sure if this makes sense but it's something I wonder about a lot. Lately, when I'm drinking and not getting nearly as buzzed as everyone else, a tiny part of me wishes I could reach their level. (The other 99% of me is glad to have the control and not act stupid.) Maybe that 1% is the remaining BEAST in me, or, I wonder if that 1% will remain with me, even when I'm fully cured.

Firebird, it's great to hear you hit an all time low in consumption - definitely proof that TSM is working. I also can relate to what you and Nick are saying about the different feeling about alcohol. While I don't consider myself anywhere near cured, I've experienced the diminished craving, especially with liquor or wine. I'll never let go of my beer, but sometimes it just doesn't give me the relief or happiness I've been so used to getting. This comes along with a sense of sadness or loss. It's like remembering some of the fun things you did as a kid, and kind of wishing you could 'go back there' for a little while, but then you remember that you're a grown up, and the insanity of the things you did just aren't appropriate anymore. But wow - those were the days. Very weird and kind of a bummer to feel the "joy" of alcohol leaving your life. But it's a small price to pay when you remember the destruction you've also left behind.

Bad news is this week I went on a bender. The good news is that even going on a four day run, I only had 29 drinks. The nausea with drinking thing seems to have passed. Maybe I was sick, I don't know. Still totally under control, though.

One interesting thing: when I drink I usually chew nicotine gum like a fiend, but lately I seem to have that under control too. I know TSM doen't work on nicotine addiction per se, but ther is definitely some effect going on.

This time I charted my monthly averages just to see that overall progress. My 6th grade math teacher would have scolded me for not labeling my graph better, but she's not here, is she? Or is she . . .

Firebird - You may want to add a Week 0 on your graph to show your pre-TSM level of 50-60 drinks per week. I think it would illustrate the true extinction curve better.

Oh, and the deeper I get into "the cure", the more I don't like alcoholic beverages. That is not a problem for me, though. My goal always was to become abstinent unless there were unusual social circumstance. I think that's where I am headed. Sounds like you are too!

Bob