I began tsm on July 11. That puts me just over the two month mark at this point. So far, I have had no AL free days and have regularly drunk myself into a stupor (which means asleep at 8:30 pm). Strangely, I have not yet experienced any loss of pleasure from the first glass of wine until the 10th, when I switch to milk. I also have not experienced any loss of pleasure in everyday things, such as sex, music, food, all the enjoyable things while on Nal. In other words the pleasure circuit is still very active in all areas. I have taken a 50mg dose every day without fail.

I awake in the mornings after experiencing very unpleasant dreams at night and feeling pangs of guilt, telling myself that this is the last time. However, by the time I'm on my feet, regularly at 7:30 am, I feel strangely refreshed and energized. No inkling of a hangover; I'm raring to go. As the day goes by, I have nary a thought of wine or any other alcohol. The sight of others drinking during the day doesn't tempt or faze me in the least and I easily wave of any offer of a libation. Then, come the afternoon, I start to feel increasingly tense and anxious. The tension is not just mental, but physical as well; a progressive tightening of muscles in my neck and back. This uncomfortableness, I know, is relieved by drinking. Thus, by five o'clock, I give in despite my promises to myself the previous morning. I forget how well I felt while completely alcohol-free during daylight hours.

The conundrum is, during the day, I don't give a damn about big AL, brushing him off like a flyspeck. But come evening he wrestles me to the ground with his pinky.

Once and if I break this cycle, and keep it broken, I can pronounce myself cured. However, so far, Nal not had the effect, not even the honeymoon effect, that I had hoped for. I still experience alcohol as I did before--except perhaps it effects me even more strongly.

Dr. Eskapa writes that some people do have a genetic (natural) predisposition (once activated) toward alcohol. It's a nature vs nurture thing. I know I've activated the undesirable nurture (behavior) a long time ago where the behavioral extinction theory comes in. But I do have serious reservations whether I can overcome nature part of the equation.

I'm not giving up, just ranting against myself a bit.

Mike

From July 11th, you are just over 1 month. Is that a typo?

I am sure others with a more time under their belt will chime in to encourage you. I'm barely closing in on 2 months, started June 25th, and have seen subtle results but not the big change yet..

Take care -

mikeone,

Your experience is not uncommon. You are still very earlier into your treatment, so you shouldn't expect a great deal of progress at this point.

I know this is easier said that done, but you just need to be patient. Keep working the golden rule and let TSM do its thing!

Q

Hi Mike,

I agree with Virginia - looks like a typo in your first sentence.

Now, having had a couple of drinks (that's all) already this evening, I'm going to leave it at that - I have strict rules that I apply to myself about posting 'under the influence'. I will reply again tomorrow.

All the best.

V.

Q said exactly what I was going to say: it's way too early to see results and your experience is very common. A lot of people don't have the honeymoon effect just like you but do see substantial change later on. The book says you won't notice any real difference in your drinking for three or four months minimum (and that was for those "only" drinking 35 per week -- bigger drinkers should expect longer). So, as Lena said, follow the amended Golden Rule: Naltrexone + Drinking + Patience = CURE.
Good luck!

PS

LOL Virgil. Yes, there are several no-no's for me with drinking. Don't drink and drive. Don't drink and dial. And now, don't drink and post.

Hi Mike, if it makes you feel any better I am right there with you, having started on July 9th! I'm really trying hard to keep the long view, with an event horizon out at five or six months. If a month were an hour and this was a car trip, it's not even time to stop for lunch at the half-way point yet

Oops, a typo indeed. My tsm start date was June 11, not July 11. Obviously two months out does not compute from the latter. I appreciate any and all positive feedback & encouragement. It's 6:30 pm Fri. eve, just finished mowing my hilly lawn. Too steep for a riding mower so I muscle around a 200-lb walk-behind plus a high-wheel rotary mower for the steepest banks. Two hours for the whole job, lawn looks beautiful (pleasure circuit activated), I'm wet as a sponge with sweat and feel great. I took my Nal at 4:00 so I better get drinking! But first a cold shower, a tall glass of ice tea and then...THE WINE! Arrrrghhhhh!

-Mike

Hi Mike,

On weekdays, this is my experience entirely. But, I can explain it in my case. Because of my anxiety problem, I feel the need to keep my mind out of mischief. So, I need to keep it occupied. I do this by engaging myself in things that I find interesting. That means spending a lot of time in front of a computer during the day. When it gets to the evening, I take a break as my eyes are already changing shape! And that's when I feel the need to have a drink, which then continues until I go to bed. At weekends, the pattern changes as I tend to do some gardening. Now, gardening can work up a thirst, particularly on a warm day (not that we've had many of those recently!). What better than a nice cold lager, which gets replaced by wine as the day progresses.

All the best.

V.

I too lived like this for years and years especially as a daily drinker. I am hypomanic with GAD and moderate OCD. All which were "treated" by me with alcohol for years prior to my diagnoses. Mornings were great, but as each day wore on, these conditions became intolerable, until the evening fix of alcohol and meds. TSM finally broke my alcohol dependency and as a good side effect the amount of meds I now must take is much lower. The only TSM side effect that is somewhat uncomfortable is the one that Q recently stated that some nights you just: "...sit around almost like a bored teenager".

Anyway, the cycle does break and for us high energy people, it would be good to have a plan for interesting, engaging, and time-consuming evening activities.

Bob