Hot P'tater -
You never cease to amaze me. We were rock band sistuhs 2gether, among other things. I forget where you live, but I extend a hearty invitation to come to my lovely Houston abode whenever the urge strikes. I want to pick your brain and hear your stories...love 'em!!

Same is true for all us gals on here...we need to rendevouz. How fun would that be?? Of course "rendevouzays" in my past involved copious amounts of chardonnay...hard to imagine a confab of nalcoholic women and not doing same...LOLOL...guess that scenario is still out there -

Good times so far & so happy for you, Hot P'tater on your progress!
XXXOOO

Houtx! From one ex band chick to another. Hey!! rock on! I am waaay up North from you but my bro lives in Dallas so that is a great excuse for me to make it to Texas and look you up. We have to do that. Would be loads of fun I am sure without the drunken shinnanagans. Today my Nal made me feel very strange after taking it. Yuk. When this passes I will be happy. If we get to the point where I will visit I will have to PM you the private info. Take it easy babe and all the best!!

Sorry can't make a party til next year. I start Commerce/Industry Sales and Marketing program Aug 31st and don't get a break til Christmas and that is only 2 weeks then it goes again til May. But then it is Finished.

Today I took my Nal 35 minutes ago and have not have anything to drink yet. I am waiting the one hour then it is fun by the pool. I am tired though and it is really hot so I will take it easy. Busy and tired these days. I have visitors from Minneapolis in 2 days and other guests just left this morning. Want next 2 weeks over with so I can go back to normal. They are all nice folk tho so I will be a lovely hostess.

wishing you all the best

One of the greatest mountians I have yet to climb is the one that puts me back into music. Up to the age of 30 I was unstoppable. I wrote songs like a banshee and played in around 4 bands at once. Guitar and piano.
I was constantly doing really cool stuff and could not be stopped. I hope to get back there with the brains I have now and not the fragmented crazy thoughts I had then. I just want life back from the terrible veil addiction causes.
Best to all.

It is important that I post right now. I am doing great and have been out all night I have been out with the biggest People in this city and I am happy and having a great time and making contacts.,
That is what my commerce thing is about.
Actualy I am getting absorbeded in a world.

I am doing ok but tommorow my dad is transferred to a different care home because the one he was in cannot manage his constant wandering. It is all very sad and has been building up for a while so I am super stressed out. There are more details related to this but I am not going to go into it all. The other thing is I am worried and very scared about taking on this class at school. It is a very heavy program and I don't know what I will do if I get disabled by a hangover. I may not drink daily but my drinking is a huge problem when you have to be on top of things consistiently. I am frightenend. Has tsm worked enough for me to be this high functioning? Will I show up all the time? Will I get through it? School is designed for 20 year olds not 45 year olds. I may be smart but I am on TSM and have an addiction. So basically I have paid my money and am committed to something which will demand alot from me that I am afraid I may not be able to give. I don't wish to be a failure at anything else in my life. It has happened too much already. I have also had family and friends around me all last month and my home has been like a hotel. I wash the sheets and then the next tenants move in. I don't like having to be everything to everybody all by myself. I sometimes wish I could just be there for myself. I don't know. Just an update.
Remember that I just spoke at a funeral on June 2nd where my good friend committed suicide and I still miss him and speak to his family. I am just tired I think.

Potato,
I don't know the answers to any of your questions, and there isn't any advice I could give you that you probably haven't thought of yourself. Dang, I sure understand about the constant visitors. I'm a lonely soul myself (like it that way) and when I have one visitor after another I just want life to begin again.

You have been such a source of strength in this fight that it is hard to think of your being a failure at anything. But I know how it goes, there are so many struggles no one else sees. School is designed for 20 year olds, like you said, but who's to say we 45 year olds don't have an unfair advantage? I guarantee you that Firebird at 43 can kick Firebird at 20's ass mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. Too bad Firebird at 20 is too dumb to realise it.

Anyway I'm joking around, but I certainly feel what you're talking about. So sorry about your friend. You are strong: this I know because you are still here, inspiring those of us who are climbing the mountain. Potato, you are admired, followed and respected. If anyone can handle the challenges you speak of, you certainly can.

I'll be pulling for you, for what it's worth.

Fire B.

Hi there
I know its hard to take on all these things TSM, studying and your Dad and not have someone by your side to share things with and we here in cyber space are not a great replacement even if we do all cheer you on! I know that place of dealing with a parent with dementia- my dad is dead now but i had that problem and i know it is worrying and stressful(he used to regularly end up on buses and trains!) there is no way round it only through it and hopefully this new place will work better for him.
As to the studying - i found that as a mature student you learned to work smarter rather than faster! i did an MBA at 40ish and often thought i couldn't keep up with the bright young things - like retaining info etc but i found that i was more willing to ask questions and get help and to prioritise what i really needed to learn as opposed to what my lecturers were prepared to pump out. From the way you've described your recent drinking i doubt that there will be too many hangovers impeding you. I am not trying to blindly cheerlead you - i know there are times when life throws lots of sh*t at you and all you can do is mind yourself as best you can while the stress is flying - knowing you will look back on these days in wonder.

Hey Potato,

Sorry about all the struggles you're facing right now, but I know you'll get through it - look what you've been able to do already! At 46, I'm about to start a class (first time since 1985 ) and am somewhat terrified, but need to work towards building a new career. You're an inspiration to me, on so many levels, and I'm convinced that school will be just another victory for you. Remember, you got through that nasty math class - you can do this! As far as the situation with your Dad and all the friends being around (except the one you need the most), I can't imagine the stress. But again, I know that you of all people will tackle this, and end up even stronger because of it. I'll continue to send good thoughts and hugs across the Internet to you! Hang in there.