You all make a really good point about numbers for binge drinkers. It is actually a bit difficult to track progress as a binge drinker.

As a binge drinker myself, I could start a really good week with say 4AF days, then end the week with two 15 unit nights separated by one day to get over the hangover from the first 15 unit night. That much AL in one night just plays hell on ones body the next day -- VERY bad. It literally takes me almost a full day to recover from drinking that much AL over a 5-6 hr period.

While those AF days might imply progress, I would say that the binger in this case is still heavily addicted to AL

Q

Hi Lena , hope you're ok on the morale front a few days on . I'm sure you're feeling some stormey blasts of the addiction working on through/out . (Yes OUT ) ;
It's admirable your concern and guidance for the others and newcomers it really shows great faith as it should be . All courage til the AF break , all courage all round .

Week 17 started Sunday. Last week was better. Craving and consumption seem to have settled down. I am drinking less as a response to stress. Of course then I am able to eliminate more stress by getting things done. Funny how that works.

Q and G4M, I really think you are on to something with your comments about the pain meds messing up TSM. I was pleasantly surprised how low my craving and consumption stayed, even when I was down to one dose a day. But after a couple weeks, both just shot way up. So I'm thankful things have settled back to going in the right direction.

It's hard sometimes not to just put life on hold as I wait to be cured. I'm resolving not to avoid or delay things in life to farther down the road when I am no longer in the grip of alcohol. I like having my numbers out of my sig line. A cut-and-paste once a week is enough for me. But I like reading yours, and especially the graphs.

Pre TSM +/- 70/wk; Craving 10
Months 1 & 2 +/- 60/wk; Craving 6
Month 3 +/- 40/wk; Craving 5
Week 14 +/- 65/wk; Craving 8
Week 15 +/- 60/wk; Craving 7
Week 16 +/-50/wk; Craving 6

That's solid progress. I'm happy for you. I can also totally relate to your thoughts about putting life on hold until cured. Sometimes I feel guilty about all of the time I spend on this board but then I think, "You were inches away from checking into rehab for 30 days, you can certainly spend a couple of hours a day on the board." This is my number one priority right now: getting well. And part of getting well is sharing my experiences and offering support to others here. The fact that I can do it and still go on with my daily life is a huge benefit of TSM.

Yep, the exact thing happened to me. While I was on the pain meds, my craving went down to basically where it is now. After I was off the pain meds for a week so, it shot back up.

Nice thing about your brief reduction in craving is you got a peek at what is to come.

Q

Lena, I respect your view on posting your numbers but am so greatful that you do once a week. As one of the benzo bunch it is very helpful to me in continuing with tsm. I still have doubts for myself since I do not have the same feeling as the others ex. hangovers, not wanting to have more than a few, etc. Thanks

Week 18 started yesterday. Not much to report. I've inched up in the time of day I start, and once I start, I don't stop, although I may go at a slower rate.

This can be a humbling process. I confess I've sometimes thought, "What could possibly be the big deal about waiting an hour?" Now I find there are days when I feel like checking the clock to see if it has stopped. Once the craving sets in, I just get antsy. This is something new. Things seem to change from day to day.

Waiting and waiting and waiting . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Pre TSM +/- 70/wk; Craving 10
Months 1 & 2 +/- 60/wk; Craving 6
Month 3 +/- 40/wk; Craving 5
Week 14 +/- 65/wk; Craving 8
Week 15 +/- 60/wk; Craving 7
Week 16 +/-50/wk; Craving 6
Week 17 +/-53/wk; Craving 5 to 8

Lena, I felt the same way this past week. Hope things change a bit for us soon! My thoughts have been with you.

Lena,
I am still early in the process (week 15 tomorrow) but your numbers are impressive! I need to start keeping track better -- I know how much I "usually" drink and it hasn't changed a whole lot, but some. Every little bit, right? You're doing great -- definitely a downward trend. Thanks for being such a welcoming and encouraging voice on this forum.

A turning point. After a couple of weeks of breakneck ups and downs, I'm headed in for a soft landing. This weeks numbers only paint the picture if viewed day-to-day:

Units/Craving
9/8, 6/5, 7/6, 5/5, 5/4, 5/4, 3/3

After three days of really stretching a bit to finish a bottle of wine (which I count as 5 units), I decided to try something different. I like beer IF it is a forty-weight (like bob's Guinness), and porter from a local micro is my favorite. I got a six pack and decided to drink three, and augment with a vodka & water if I wanted to continue drinking. Friday I had the three beers and finished the carefully measured double vodka & water, although I could have done with a single. Last night the three beers were more than enough. The lowest number I have had in years. Still, I really enjoyed the beers.

I changed it up in order to see if finishing the wine bottle was more a function of the "eat everything on your plate" rule than truly craving alcohol. I believe it was. There was no siren singing me toward a half-empty bottle on the counter. I experience it as something different than a drinking trigger, although last night I was so indifferent to the last beer I might have been in the proper frame of mind to leave half a bottle of wine. That would be easier than leaving a single glass. Am I making sense?

I think I'll go back to wine tonight and see where this is taking me.

I feel better this morning than I have felt since I don't know when.

Pre TSM +/- 70/wk; Craving 10
Months 1 & 2 +/- 60/wk; Craving 6
Month 3 +/- 40/wk; Craving 5
Week 14 +/- 65/wk; Craving 8
Week 15 +/- 60/wk; Craving 7
Week 16 +/-50/wk; Craving 6
Week 17 +/-53/wk; Craving 5 to 8
Week 18 40/wk; Craving 8 to 3