Okay,

Had a great day yesterday with my father (97 years old), taking him to a concert and thoroughly enjoying ourselves (no booze, of course).

Today, all was okay until we left my dad and my husband decided it was time to go exploring in the countryside and we ran into major traffic. A ride that normally would take 2 hours took 3+ hours, and we were really getting on each others' nerves by the time we got home. I went one direction and he headed out to the lawn to "mow".

Needlesstosay, I hit the bottle. Drank 3 glasses of wine before I even realized I hadn't taken the naltrexone. Shoot!

I sometimes think the impulsiveness/spontenaity of my husband is one of the major triggers to my drinking. I like predictability, organization, and "a plan" while he resists all of these things. His life, of course and as a consequence, is much more colorful than mine -- but at least I can "cope" in my contained environment. Also, I am seeing that I need lots of "community" while he doesn't: his community is free-floating and wherever he falls, that's where it is. It's much harder for me.

I guess lots of couples going into retirement face these stresses and strains. At least, that's what I hear. All I'm reporting here is that it is aggravating my drinking. I used to think it was the stresses of work: deadlines, performance evaluations, potential layoffs, etc., etc. Now, I can see that it isn't that simple.

Well, I'm going to hang in here because I don't see any other way out. At least I'm venting some of this stuff and am sober enough to see it -- I never could before.

Thanks to all for letting me post....and, by the way, despite today's upset, my drinking yesterday and today is way day from baseline "normal"!

Sante

Sante -
I hope alls going well for you. Your volunteer plans sound great. Good that you are sort-of putting the pieces of your own personal puzzle together. Hang in there, girl -

Hi Folks,

Just finished Week 4. My average/day was comparable to last week (9) and my drinks per week (65) haven't really changed. BUT the pattern of drinking seems to be changing: I have more "light" drinking days and then hit "heavy" days (eg., more spikes and "valleys").

Am still finding it hard to anticipate when I drink in order to stick to the "one hour before" rule. I think I have to think about Naltrexone like a vitamin pill: I take it everyone morning...since I'm still drinking every day.

As well...I seem to be surrendering to retirement...finding stuff to do that occupies and interests me. It is slow, but coming and I basically like the direction in which it is coming. I really think if I can find compelling activities during the day, that naltrexone and TSM will kick in and work for me. But it is critical for my psyche to feel engaged in life. Like I matter and am not just here to do housework, grocery shopping, laundry, paying bills, and chatting up my (much loved) husband. I think I mentioned volunteer activities: Monday is my first day volunteering at an ecumenical soup kitchen. I'm actually looking forward to it!

Yikes, if I had ever figured that dealing with the drinking and retirement would be so hard...

Thanks to all for sharing your experiences. I'm hanging in there all the same...

Sante

Hi Sante --

If you are drinking every day just pop the nal in the morning -- it will cover you the whole day so there is no harm. However, there is potentially a significant delay in your progress if you are drinking before the one hour so why risk it? Just pop the nal in the AM.

Happy Retirement!

interesting thanks for sharing your experiences guys!


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Hi Folks,

It's been awhile.... I'm coming up on Week 11, still taking the NAL before drinking, BUT stopped counting awhile ago. I just found it too depressing. I'm wondering if anyone else has this problem...it seems like everyone else is so diligent about monitoring their progress. Am I the only one with issues around counting?

Sante

Hi Sante,

I assume that when you make reference to counting you are talking about keeping track of units consumed. If that's the case, you're not alone. I'm on Week 26 of TSM and I'm fed up of tracking my alcohol intake. Plus, it's depressing when every day is the same. Having said that, I used to be diligent but my patience is running out.

All the best,

V.

Thanks Virgil and W2E. I started counting again, or at least I'm going to try. I've been going through a "bad spell" and sort of gave up on myself...even while still taking the naltrexone.

The cloud over me seems to be lifting a little, though, or I seem to be a little more inspired to try harder...and count drinks/units. Like a lot of others, I sort of view TSM as my "last chance". Everything else has failed and as I approach the three month mark, is it unreasonable for me to hope for some positive changes???

I hope not,

Sante

No. But to expect them, maybe. Keep your chin up!

Hi Folks,

I'm hanging in there despite some wild ups and downs. Had two great days this week (2-3 drinks/day) and then bombed out yesterday. Today I'm AF and glad for it. I'm sure I'll be drinking (2 units?) tomorrow night when I get home from sailing...hopefully no more.

I've seen folks here talk about having wild dreams on naltrexone. I don't know if it is because of the NAL or because I recently read John Sanford's book, Dreams, but my dreaming is really, amazingly revealing...and I'm working hard at being conscious and conscientious about monitoring my dream contents. I'm convinced a deeper, more "essential" part of my makeup is trying to reach out to me and work with me to achieve a happier, more sober life. When I stay conscious / present about wanting to be alert (sober) enough when I go to bed to remember my dreams (and not just pass out and sleep totally unconsciously), I have one more motivator to stick with TSM.

I'd love to hear if others are having similar experiences.

Anyway, I'm into week 12 now, back to counting units/day, and having one heck of a better week than I've had probably since starting on July 2.

Sante