Hello!

Just finished week 23, which was better than the previous week. I still had one night of crazy drinking which disappoints me, but I think it's one of those strange triggers I've yet to tackle. Sometimes when I can't sleep, and it's a weekend night (so it's 'acceptable' to drink), I get up and just start drinking by myself until I get smashed and crawl back to bed. Stupid!

Anyhow, other than that, things went well last week. I know my numbers never look very encouraging - especially to the newcomers, since I've been doing TSM for 5 months now. I've even considered not posting my numbers, as others here have decided. However, I was finally able to create a graph, and it shows that I AM making progress - just much more slowly than I'd like. The link is below:

http://docs.google.com/Edit?docid=ddpsxbkf_0p2m7t5gp

I found this encouraging, and will continue to look at the graph more than the numbers. This coming weekend is a HUGE party event - possibly the biggest one for a non-holiday. Next will be Labor Day. Then things will settle down as the crazy summer partying ends, and reality sets in again.

I've not had much time to post, as I'm always running back to our property/'party place' where there is no Internet. Leaving again this afternoon, and won't be back until Tuesday - this is the pattern until summer is over. I still try to catch up on posts, but rarely have time to reply these days. PLEASE understand that I would reply to every post if I could, and I always want to support and encourage everyone here. You guys all mean the world to me, and I wish nothing but the best for all my fellow TSM warriors!

Kris. Good for you for handling all that stuff that occurred in such a short time. Even tho you were drinking I am glad you didn't participate in the yelling part. Yelling rarely helps anything even tho it is one of the " go to" behaviors in stressy situations. I am super jealous about the YES concert. I love them and have followed their music since I was 12 years old. Love the old stuff. Cheers and all the best!

Hi Kris - your numbers are probably over 50% lower than when you started. That's amazing and you are a wonderful 'story' for all the newcomers - and those that are struggling after the fist month.

You are doing so great - very proud of you for sticking with it and always being so upbeat even when you were very discouraged .

Hi Everybody!

Trying to hop in here when I can - just wanted to update you on week 24 before I run off to "PartyLand" again tomorrow. This past week was a LONG drinking adventure. Thursday night thru Monday night! It was a special cultural event that spans several days, so this was to be expected. Lots of drinking, but I did fairly well. Saturday was my birthday, and I drank all day, but pretty slowly - never got out of control or made a fool of myself. BUT - I was sick the next day. Didn't seem fair, but it is what it is - I've always been one to suffer horrible hangovers compared to most other drinkers I know. I also added a few glasses of wine to my typical menu of beer only. Probably the biggest factor was that I smoked like a MANIAC! Hardly ever smoke when I'm home, then overdo it when partying. This really messes with my sinuses, which upsets my stomach, etc. Gotta stop being so stupid about that!

Anyhow, instead of questioning what happens each week, I try to focus on the overall downward (although very slow in my case) trend. As Happy pointed out, there is quite a difference when compared to my pre-TSM numbers. I think the graphs illustrate this best. Thanks you to whoever started this graphing idea - I love seeing everyone's progress.

Cheers All!

Congrats on a fairly good week given an abundance of triggers.

These graphs were a great idea. Nothing like a good visual!

Q

Week 25 has come and gone. Nothing very interesting – I seem to be on a plateau for now, but I’m OK with that. Summer isn’t over yet, so the relatively heavy drinking will continue for about another month. Every weekend brings another opportunity to gather with friends and family, most of whom are also drinkers. This weekend I’ll be at a family wedding, so I’ll be extra careful to not go overboard – (thanks Nick)!

I’ve tried to catch up on all the posts, and am thrilled to see so many declare themselves CURED! Congratulations to all who’ve crossed that finish line! It must give so much hope to newcomers to see proof that TSM truly works, when we old-timers had nothing to go on but blind faith, and a few stories about anonymous people. But – I would also caution the new members not to expect results similar to those of anyone else. Everybody is different, and the journey will be rockier for some. I’m a perfect example of a “slow un-learner” at almost 6 months with TSM, most likely due to heavy drinking for more than 30 years. Overthinking this process brings nothing but 'paralysis through analysis', and you will drive yourself crazy if you fall into that trap. Just be patient and let TSM do its thing, however long it takes.

I no longer obsess over the units, the AF days, the timeline, or ANY of the “numerical” definitions of progress. I’m not quite where I want to be yet, but even if nothing changed from this point on – I’d be good with that too. My life has been transformed already. No more hidden bottles of liquor to worry about. No more pain of seeing the disappointment and grief in my family’s eyes. No more self loathing Life is good.

Thanks for the ongoing support from all of you. Hugs to everyone, and may your glass always be half full (or less)!

That's great Kris, I'm with you in that I would love to add myself to the "CURED" list, but I real good with where I'm at so far. What a life changing process this has been. Good luck to you. Oh, and as far as I know it was Mabelee who started the graphing thing. It sure gives an added perspective . . .

[quote="KrazyKris] Overthinking this process brings nothing but 'paralysis through analysis', and you will drive yourself crazy if you fall into that trap. Just be patient and let TSM do its thing, however long it takes. [/quote]

That cannot be said enough, Kris.
So happy that you're hanging in there and that life is good.

Hi Everybody,

Well, after finishing week 26, I’m officially at the 6 month point. I may not be cured yet, but I’m happy to be where I am - life is a WHOLE lot better than it was 6 months ago! I’ve also realized the definition of ‘cured’ will vary a great deal due to the different goals we’ve set for ourselves. If it were about numbers, then it doesn’t look too impressive in my case. But if it’s about the quality of life, (as Nick and many others here will agree), then I’m ‘already there’ – isn’t there’s a song like that out there?…

I’ve never strived for abstinence, and I don’t really care how much I drink as long as I don’t act DRUNK. I know should care more about the health ramifications, but I’m taking it one step at a time. It’s a whole new world for me to care about my health, when before I didn’t even care to live. 99% of the time, I’m now capable of drinking without getting drunk, and that’s HUGE for me – it was something I could never achieve no matter how hard I tried. I can trust myself now in social situations. I’m not afraid of embarrassing myself or my family anymore. I’m a different person. I don’t know when I’ll be ‘cured’ because I honestly don’t know what that means for me yet.

I like analogies, and watching some people in physical therapy today, another one came to mind. Those with the most physical damage, whether from injury or wear and tear, will have a longer period of recovery than those with relatively minor issues. I believe the same holds true for the damage caused by alcohol. I may be on the TSM track for a long time (or for life to maintain my health), and that makes perfect sense to me. I’m a long time heavy drinker, and my “therapy” will require more patience and endurance than for those with less serious damage. I’m here for the long haul, and with all of you – I’ll make it!

Bless you all for your support, and thank God for Cyberspace!

Hi Kris,

I'm really pleased for you. It is self-evident from what you say that you're a different person now compared with how you were when you first started out on the TSM path. There is joy in your words and it's great to read them. May you continue to progress in whatever way that turns out to be.

All the very best!

V.