Progress begin 23. Apr. 2009

minneapolisnick · **Joined:** Tue May 19, 2009 2:17 pm **Posts:** 1793

That's so great you have support. I'm beginning to divide the world into two groups: you are with me or against me. Some people just rag on me when they see me running to this site; others commend me for it. The former group is on its way out; the latter group was always with me and always will be.

craving · **Joined:** Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:50 am **Posts:** 246

bob3d wrote:

It reminded me of my supportive wife who asked me today if I was going to do another AF day. I said yes because I couldn't stand the thought of drinking that horrible stuff for a while. She then asked me how far along am I in my treatment and when I told her she pointed out that I was just a bit past half way and it was too soon to be cured. Huh?!? This is from the person that has been hurt the most by my drinking, but she understands how TSM works.

Bob that is fantastic. Really amazing to have such great support.
I slowly get the same feeling as you ... I start to dislike drinking ... at the same time I know that my body forces me to do it.

I explained my gf all important parts about the TSM therapy - and the therapy idea is actually not so different than for other addiction. The best example might be smoking that is by now threaded also with a receptor blocker.

I think with the support of my gf things are going to be more easy now, and I am really looking forward to the next months, as I really start to hate having the urge to drink. I do hope my body starts to dis-associate this asap.

craving · **Joined:** Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:50 am **Posts:** 246

summary

Week 1
........Mon, 20.04. pre-SM AF
........Tue, 21.04. pre-SM AF
........Wed, 22.04. pre-SM AF
........Thu, 23.04. 5.7 units (SM Start 25mg Nal)
........Fri, 24.04. 6 units
........Sat, 25.04. AF
........Sun, 26.04. 5 units

........Total units : 16.7 units
........AF days : 4
........avg. units per drinking session : 5.6

Week 2
........Mon, 27.04. 5 units
........Tue, 28.04. AF
........Wed, 29.04. 5 units
........Thu, 30.04. AF
........Fri, 01.05. AF
........Sat, 02.05. AF
........Sun, 03.05. 1.5 units

........Total units : 11.5 units
........AF days : 4
........avg. units per drinking session : 3.8

Week 3
........Mon, 04.05. AF
........Tue, 05.05. 1.5 units (switch to 50mg Nal)
........Wed, 06.05. AF
........Thu, 07.05. 1.5 units
........Fri, 08.05. 1 unit
........Sat, 09.05. AF
........Sun, 10.05. AF

........Total units : 4 units
........AF days : 4
........avg. units per drinking session : 1.3

Week 4
........Mon, 11.05. 1 unit
........Tue, 12.05. AF
........Wed, 13.05. AF
........Thu, 14.05. 3 units
........Fri, 15.05. AF
........Sat, 16.05. AF
........Sun, 17.05. 5 units

........Total units : 9 units
........AF days : 4
........avg. units per drinking session : 3.0

Week 5
........Mon, 18.05. AF
........Tue, 19.05. 1 unit
........Wed, 20.05. 4 units
........Thu, 21.05. AF
........Fri, 22.05. 4 units
........Sat, 23.05. AF
........Sun, 24.05. AF

........Total units : 9 units
........AF days : 4
........avg. units per drinking session : 3.0

Week 6
........Mon, 25.05. 5 units
........Tue, 26.05. AF
........Wed, 27.05. AF
........Thu, 28.05. AF
........Fri, 29.05. 4 units
........Sat, 30.05. AF
........Sun, 31.05. 4 units

........Total units : 13 units
........AF days : 4
........avg. units per drinking session : 4.3

Week 7
........Mon, 01.06. AF
........Tue, 02.06. 5 units
........Wed, 03.06. 4 units
........Thu, 04.06. AF
........Fri, 05.06. 3 units
........Sat, 06.06. AF
........Sun, 07.06. AF

........Total units : 12 units
........AF days : 4
........avg. units per drinking session : 4.0

Week 8
........Mon, 08.06. 4 units
........Tue, 09.06. AF
........Wed, 10.06. 4 units
........Thu, 11.06. AF
........Fri, 12.06. 5 units
........Sat, 13.06. AF
........Sun, 14.06. 5 units

........Total units : 19 units
........AF days : 3
........avg. units per drinking session : 4.5

Week 9
........Mon, 15.06. AF
........Tue, 16.06. 5 units
........Wed, 17.06. 4 units
........Thu, 18.06. AF
........Fri, 19.06. 6 units
........Sat, 20.06. 7 units
........Sun, 21.06. AF

........Total units : 22 units
........AF days : 3
........avg. units per drinking session : 5.5

Week 10
........Mon, 22.06. 6 units
........Tue, 23.06. 5 units
........Wed, 24.06. 5 units
........Thu, 25.06. AF
........Fri, 26.06. AF
........Sat, 27.06. AF
........Sun, 28.06. 5 units

........Total units : 21 units
........AF days : 3
........avg. units per drinking session : 5.3

Week 11
........Mon, 29.06. 5 units
........Tue, 30.06. 6 units
........Wed, 01.07. AF
........Thu, 02.07. 4 units
........Fri, 03.07. 4 units
........Sat, 04.07. AF
........Sun, 05.07. 5 units

........Total units : 24 units
........AF days : 2
........avg. units per drinking session : 4.8

Week 12
........Mon, 06.07. AF
........Tue, 07.07. 6 units
........Wed, 08.07. 5 units
........Thu, 09.07. 5 units
........Fri, 10.07. AF
........Sat, 11.07. 3 units
........Sun, 12.07. AF

........Total units : 19 units
........AF days : 3
........avg. units per drinking session : 4.7

potato · **Joined:** Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:02 pm **Posts:** 345

Nice summary. Way to go craving! To those with supportive significant others and friends, yeah!!! I love to hear this. It means the method is reaching even those not actively doing it. It will bode well to spread the word. As for me, same old except today before drinking I got really nauseous after taking my Nal which hasn't happened in a while. Hmmm.

craving · **Joined:** Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:50 am **Posts:** 246

2 consecutive AF days. (sunday+monday)

Drinking now. It has not felt that well to escape reality for some time.
I get extremely relaxed when drinking - my brain stops spinning around - it becomes silent inside.
Not sure if anyone has the same - but it feels like finally there is no inner voice thinking and talking - i mean the standard inner voice thinking

craving · **Joined:** Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:50 am **Posts:** 246

4 units today.

was already totally drunken with the 3rd unit.
i guess i did the 4th unit as i already had the glass filled.

Compared to normal alcohol consume I would start to drink more and more - but with Sinclair I drink less and less.

4 units and I am drunken - I could not imagine that 6 months ago!!
Really great to have the sensitivity again .... I do not care about who can drink most contest ...

I am having the buzz ... at the same time I can control it ... I would never drive this way ... but I feel much more awake now than after usually drinking.

Had a yogurt and I did not end up emptying the refrigerator ... all thanks to Nal

EDIT : the amount I drank did not result in enough buzz. Had another 2 units now. so total 6 units.
Somehow if I do not fall asleep and I notice the buzz getting less my body asks for more!

craving · **Joined:** Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:50 am **Posts:** 246

I have lost over 14% of my body weight within the last 10 weeks.

diet + Bupropion + Nal + a little fitness

I hope my body weight continues that way to shed away all my extra pounds.

craving · **Joined:** Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:50 am **Posts:** 246

I really hate to drink. I am here now with 5th glass and in between I was thinking if I should puke up.
How can anyone drink such sh*t?

I guess it is all about the effect it gives. I wonder why I am that far away from reality when I really chase down people and take my life into my hands.
Why do I want to escape the real world if I deal with everything now - no matter how hard it gets.

This is a piece my brain still has to sort out I guess.

I am stinking ... I do not want to know how it feels for a non-drinking person to smell me.
I feel sorry for my gf - who gives me so much support those days.
I really wish I could just stop now and here and I promise I would do it. If it would just work this way!!!

Right now I am using a chewing gun to get away this awful alcohol taste.
The more alcohol I drink the more it becomes a drug that I use to get the buzz.
I used to think it tastes good ... bullsh*t ... I just put it down as fast as I can - so I do not need to taste it anymore.

I think that is one of the long term effects of Nal that it shows me that alcohol actually tastes bad

craving · **Joined:** Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:50 am **Posts:** 246

WaitingToExhale you have hit into bullseye with your words.

I can not add anything more to your post. You simply said everything into one post!

WaitingToExhale wrote:

disgusted with ourselves and where we got.

We are on the right way. I do feel sick of drinking and the taste.

WaitingToExhale wrote:

Hold on to the fact that instead of sitting about wallowing in your difficult situation, you are making it change - like we all are. The time it takes is brutal some days ...

Like you say ... in comparison to many other alcohol addicts or abusers we stand up and say ... YES I HAVE A PROBLEM.

That is the first step to fix the problem. In my opinion the majority of alcoholics keep on doing what they are doing for 2-3 decades without ever seeing themselves having a problem. I know persons who fit into this profile in my real world environment.

WaitingToExhale wrote:

We are all going to be re-learning and re-processing how to deal with life in a different manner once we don't constantly drown ourselves in the poison. But I think thankfully, on that front, it is a slow process and we'll have time to adjust to this new life we are creating for ourselves. We're learning that the escape is not the only way anymore.

Nal has done so much more the last months for me. Something you would probably not be able to attribute to Nal itself into clinical trials.
I received back the power to take my life into my hands. To stand up if I am not conform with something. This was missing to me since I started drinking.

Although my units have increased they are still way below my pre-TSM values. The amount I drink can be still considered as health damaging - but looking on long term i.e. 1 year, then this will hardly make any difference.
The important part is the things we do not see - the things that Nal is doing from inside of our brains - and it is incredible!

WaitingToExhale wrote:

Give the GF lots of hugs and when she tells you are doing well - believe her. You are.

Thank you WaitingToExhale. I am confident that my situation has improved significantly and I am sure I will see even bigger changes within the next 3-6 months.
It was quite hard at first to tell my gf that I have a problem ... it is one thing to write it here, and another to speak it out loud. But it helps a lot now that she understands what I am doing, and that I need to drink to fix the illness.

Hugs!

houtx · **Joined:** Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:39 pm **Posts:** 872

Craving -
I loved your posts beacause they show so much progress and your insights into yourself. Hang in there - you sound like you are doing great & lucky to have a supportive GF!

Enjoy where you are, what you are doing & the fact you have that love in your life! You are here & obviously trying to improve the quality of your life. Your GF is a very smart woman & must love you very much. Hope it's working out. I want that!

Cheers!

Progress begin 23. Apr. 2009

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