Still haven't figured out how to get my graph posted, so will stick with text.

This weekend of the 4th was a bear. My units were really high - 33 units between Fri. and Sun. I really didn't crave the booze, but there was just so much opportunity, and triggers galore. Tonight BF and I plan to go AF, and I don't think it's gonna be bad at all. Who knows, maybe we'll gut through 2 AF's! Really, the booze just doesn't affect me like it used to. . .and I'm darn sick of this merry-go-round. I'm tired of feeling exhausted much of the time, of having no motivation to do the things I used to love doing, of being 'different' from my former good friends. I eat almost nothing, but the calories from AL keep me overweight. Doesn't help that I don't feel like exercising, or even moving at times. I just sit here at this stupid computer, wasting valuable time. I'm tired of the silly, shallow alcoholic conversations at parties. I'm tired of missed deadlines, and of mostly watching horses through the window or from the back deck, rather than spending hours in the saddle.

We did go to one little gathering during the day on Friday. These folks didn't drink (tho I had my 'sipper' in a water bottle), and they had a wonderful time w/o the booze. I want that!
Onward, and downward!

I hear ya. I spend a lot of time here to as opposed to doing something useful. Your numbers are still not too bad and 33 drinks in three days I know is not considered normal but if you were drinking from let's say early afternoon into the evening, it certainly can happen very easily! No hangovers this past weekend but boy I know what you are saying. Just the thought.......ugh

I'm sorry that You don't sound too happy there .
Maybe it's time to see what 75 mg could do ??

Yes, elf, that's what I just started. . .we'll see, and report!

Oh G4M, please don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure that you are not wasting valuable time. You're certainly not wasting valuable time on this forum; it's important therapy for you and you're a great source of support for others.

Be kind to yourself.

All the very best.

V.

Shoot. Had a long post and accidentally lost it. Will try again.

I'm on a real up and down cycle. Two days ago I planned an AF day. At 8 p.m. I was fine, with nary a twinge. Then a piece of equipment that has been the bane of my existence fell apart, and I ended up a half hour later crying and cursing at it. Took my Nal, as the game was definitely up. Drank one glass of wine very quickly, then poured another and went to bed to watch a movie. Drank that glass, and had NO desire for more! Drank water and finished up the movie. End of story. Been a long, long time since I could quit at two glasses. Maybe never.

Then yesterday I drank two glasses of wine with a friend over a 2 hour lunch, came home and had another with company, then went out with said company for dinner and had 4 more over the course of the (long) evening. Then poured a nightcap at home. Eight glasses, over about 10 hours, and I barely had a buzz. Units were up, but the experience was far better than in the past.

I'm going to continue to count my units (glasses), but have decided not to even think about what it means if I've had 'this much,' or 'that little.' It is what it is - and God willing, what it IS will be my (long term, permanent) cure.

End of week 21, and my overall upw's are up again. I must say this has been the biggest roller-coaster week of the experience thus far. Started out with lots and lots of drinking over the holiday weekend, then had a couple of moderate days - one with only 2 units. That, to me, is better than an AF, as it shows I can now start to drink and not always drink to excess - which is my goal.

Yesterday I took my Nal around 2 p.m., but didn't think to pour a drink until 6 p.m. Ended the day with 6 units, and turned off the TV and fell asleep before completing the last one. (Well. . .turned off the TV and enjoyed an 'interlude' with BF.) Didn't even realize I hadn't emptied my glass until I started downstairs with it this morning and some of the wine spilled out. To be very honest, in the past if there was still wine in my glass I would have postponed the 'interlude' until it was gone - and by then BF would most likely be asleep, so I'd go pour another.

Leaving a partially filled glass has only happened on a few other occasions, and that usually when I passed out from drinking. Choosing to make love over finishing a glass of wine has also not happened in a very long time. (Isn't it amazing how many really important things become lower on our priority scale than drinking?) So all this is great! Like I said in my last post, I'm still keeping track, but am just not going to sweat how much/little I drink. . .it is what it is, and will be what it will be. My kicking myself in the pants isn't going to change anything, and might actually just trigger me into drinking more than I otherwise would.

Onward, and downward!

This was a breakthrough week for me, as I am now drinking half as much as pre-Sinclair without making any effort or using any willpower whatsoever. I just don't have the 'thirst for more, and I must drink faster' that previously drove my drinking. I averaged a little less than 7 drinks per day, but that was always from about 3 p.m. until 10 or 11 at night. I only got a real 'buzz' twice, and can't say I was actually drunk even once. The whole experience of drinking is beginning to have a different feel to it - hard to describe, but there's a distinct change. The taste of the wine isn't as appealing, for one thing. I think partly in response to that (my addicted brain kicking in to try to get 'it' back) I bought a bottle of Peppermint Schnapps and had a shot of that as a nightcap last night. Sat up late to watch 2 taped episodes of America's Got Talent, and didn't even feel like having another shot - ended up drinking water the last hour or so.

In my case going to a 75mg. dose was the key, as my gastric bypass prevented the Naltrexone from being completely absorbed. Within a week after upping my dose I experienced a significant reduction in craving, and in my relationship/thinking toward alcohol. In fact, yesterday I was down to 1/2 bottle of wine in the house and didn't even think about stopping to buy more until we were out of the house running errands. In the past if I got down to less than three bottles it was time for a shopping trip.

Onward, and downward!

G4M, I was wondering where you were! Great news on the 75mg. Congradulations on your success!

Thank God you found the key to your progress!! You have given so much here. It's your turn!!