Hey guys, it seems not too many people are actually active on here, but I am trying to reach out anyway, if anyone is helped by this, I want to contribute. My story again...I drank since being a teenager in Europe (English is my second language), as a waitress/barmaid, living in a share house. Hence plenty of 'social' drinking opportunities. I felt even back then my relationship with alcohol was not overly healthy, but kinda under control, or at least not too different from the other friends I had. I often woke up with that sense of dread, which all of us know more or less... trying to piece together what happened the night before, what I said, what I did... But fun and games when 18, right? Then I travelled the world and eventually moved to Australia and studied hard, became a nurse. More parties, more blackouts, but plenty of AF time in between. Then I became a mum and had some very healthy years. The relationship with my partner turned bad way before the child was born, but I stuck it out for almost 10 years and another child, really wanting to do the right thing. A new thing snuck into my world, when number 2 was weaned and walking... Drinking by myself. I have cultivated that art now since about 5-6 years, waxing and waning. At the beginning a harmless beer or glass of wine... but becoming a real problem progressively for the last 1.5 years. There was a sudden trajectory from drinking a six pack with a mate, to drinking 10 beers by myself. From drinking half a bottle of wine and feeling guilty, to drinking 1.5 and struggling to stop. I could carry on the sob street of my shitty circumstances (new partner that drinks, shift work, high stress work environment, ADD kid etc) But I truly believe that the foundation had been laid by my brain chemistry and teenage exposure. I watch in awe as my girlfriends forget about their drink, or just let it sit there, while I am obsessing about how much I had, how much there is, when I can have another one and the despair when drinks run out. The last 2 months I spend in a haze of trying to wake up and survive a hangover, get **** done (washing, lunch boxes, work, shopping, dinner) until it is FINALLY 5 pm and that beer, that wine, will make the physical (back pain) and emotional overload go away. When alone, I spend my nights on the internet reading **** and sending messages to people that i regret the next day. When I socialise I drink more than my friends and cannot remember how I got to bed. When with my partner, we have a lot of fun, but even here I have to admit that I sometimes cannot remember how the night ended. Also I have found my lack of digression and filter at parties has become increasingly non- entertaining as I approach my 40's. I am a 'good enough' mum, but this is crap. I want to be really present and awake and onto it. Not slack at night... whatever... and cranky in the morning. I also lost interest in food. Like completely. So I took the step to approach a GP I have never seen before with my plan and he was totally supportive! Even though he has never heard of the 'Sinclair' method. I just explained the blocking of the reward system and he was just like... yep, makes sense. Anyway I am one week and one day in. I have so far failed to take the full dose, as I feel spaced out on 25mg and am a bit scared of the 50.
So my week looked like that:
1) drank like usual, 1.5 bottles of wine, possibly a beer or 2 after, don't know, cannot remember going to bed, had fantastic conversations with a new friend. I thought.
2) woke up, completely drunk and spaced out, chucked a sicky, as I felt there was no way it would be appropriate to drive to work. Had to repeat half of the conversations from the night before, as I only half remembered. Was just as excited again when I got he same info that I got the night before, starting to wonder if new friend thinks I have brain damage. Of course I told the new friend about my plight and she is wishing me good luck as we part. Her last words are 'stop bashing yourself up'. Drank 1 bottle of wine that night and one beer, remember everything and was onto it.
2) 2.5 beers, lost interest, couldn't sleep because too excited and in disbelief. Daydreaming of my alcohol controlled life. daydreaming of being the new Sinclair hero. Can't stop the brain carousel. Getting pissed off with myself. Giving up at 1 am and had a valium.
4) as above, minus the valium. I actually slept.
5) my christmas party, which would have been a night of a million drinks, I had 8 in 10 hours, hosted, put kids to bed, sober, said goodbye to guests, sober, made love to boyfriend, remember.
6) hectic afternoon shift, drank 2 beers before bed.
7) worked all day, then BFF and I are in charge of a carton of beer. I drink 5. She drinks 5. WTF? Bed at 10. taking out earnings and lining them up next to my bobby pins. getting a glass of water.
8) went to work after last night. 12 hour shift. kicked goals left right and centre today, I had three beers as I am typing this (10 pm). I am fairly comprehensive, I think, and I am not crapping on about inappropriate topics. Might have another one.

So this is me, today, and I hope I will succeed to ride off to the horizon on my sober-ish unicorn one day very, very soon.
What i would like to know of you, more experienced people... 50 mg? I am 57kgs, female and petite. Should i switch and when?
Happy sharing. love to all

Thanks for the recap, Nadine. Glad you took time to lay that out, I'm sure there are many here that can identify with your story and it will encourage others to come out of lurk mode and post about their own struggles.

For the time being, you seem to be making very good headway on 25mg and from what I've read, some do take more and some less. I'm no doctor, but I can't see any harm in sticking with your current dose at least till the side effects pass. When it's that time of the month and your progesterone levels drop, you may need to boost your dose.

Don't be thrown if your drinking spikes back up, it's the rare chart that doesn't show that. You've cut back quite a bit and the addicted part of the brain might fight back here, we've come to expect it. This is where mindful/conscious drinking and slowing the pace can help. The addicted part of your brain may scream "Moar, MOAR!", so delay a bit and tell it "Ok, ok! I'll get you a drink. In a minute." What you're aiming for is to break up the habitual/mechanical aspect of drinking while the Nal is working on the craving. This also has the benefit of giving you other things to do with your time as drinking begins to lose priority in your evening. You may have learned tricks and techniques along this line in your past battles with the bottle, so bring them out, dust them off and see what works.