I'm a 50 year old male who started drinking again after 6 years abstinence in a 12 step program. I had more or less ventured out of AA a year prior; I liked most of the people in the program, but found the overall program a bit confining and not quite compatible with my spiritual beliefs. About a year prior to that again, I met a wonderful woman who is a very moderate drinker. However, she's a chef and I really missed being able to share a bottle of wine with her over a good meal. On vacation last October, I decided to see if I could drink moderately, and that worked very well for a couple of months. However, I found that my alcohol consumption crept up gradually, to the point where I was drinking every day. Although I was not drinking anywhere near the quantities I was drinking years before, it made me feel guilty and uncomfortable. I also noticed that my depression, which I had suffered from before getting sober and which had periodically reappeared during my abstinent years, seemed to get worse. I also gained a lot of weight. However, worst of all, I would wake up feeling jittery and anxious, and I felt that I was now walking down a path that seemed familiar and that something had to change. Last week I had a medical appointment (not my regular doctor, in fact she was a PA). She expressed concern about my high blood pressure, and it was at this point I decided to tell her about my drinking. I told her that I did not feel that I was drinking alcoholically like I had been before, but that the drinking probably did not help and I'd like to cut back. She asked me how much I was drinking, and I told her about 3-4 drinks a night 3-4 days a week. That's probably a low estimate, as I had been drinking that quantity (and occasionally a bit more) pretty much every day. She told me that given my history, I really should not run that risk, and she asked if I was willing to try Naltrexone. I had never heard of it, but I said yes. She was running to the next patient, so she gave me a printout from a web site (webmd?) and told me that I would have to read up on it. The prescription said to take one a day. I found out later that day that the medication was not covered by my insurance, but I asked the pharmacist if she thought it would be worth it to pay for out of pocket (about $115 for 30 tablets, 50 mg). The pharmacist simply said that her customers who come in with this prescription generally keep refilling it, which should indicate it's working. She said she could give me 15 tablets, then I could try it out. This was last Thursday, and keep in mind, at this point I thought I was supposed to abstain and take the Nal medication every day. I took one tablet that evening, didn't drink, kind of wanted to but no big deal. What I did do, which I'm glad I did, was to do a bit more research on Nal. I found an article from Psychology Today about the Sinclair Method, followed the link to the Amazon book (which I ordered) and read some of the Amazon reviews. This led me to the blog by someone named unchainedmouse, and then to this board. I suspected there must be a forum like this one, with people sharing their experiences. After reading quite a bit on this board, it started to dawn on me that to be successful with this method, total abstinence is not the way to go. I still have a lot to read, but I think I'm at least starting to get a general idea about pharmaceutical extinction works. The next day I had a dinner appointment with a friend (who also likes to drink!), and I took my Nal medication exactly one hour prior. I started out with a glass of red wine before our meal. I can't say that I felt that different from drinking while not being on the medication, but my glass lasted a lot longer than his; and I usually finish my drink a long time before anyone else does!

The dinner lasted for about 2.5 hours, and when my friend ordered a bottle of white wine, I only had one glass. At that point, I felt as if I were to have another glass, I would get sick! I really thought that I would not want anymore to drink that night, but later we were supposed to meet up with my fiancee and some friends of hers, and since my friend had bought dinner, I was buying drinks. I had one glass of red wine, and surprisingly it tasted good this time so I kept drinking with my friend until we all left, I think I drank 5 or 6 glasses of wine in total that night, over 5 hours or so and with plenty of food. That would normally not be enough to give me a hangover, but the next day I felt nauseous and unwell in general to the point where I couldn't even eat until late at night, and then only very little. I read on this forum about the Nalover, so I figured it was a good sign. I definitely could not stomach alcohol, even the thought of it made me more nauseous. The third day we met up with some friends in for dinner late in the afternoon, and I figured there was a good chance that there'd be some drinking, so I took my Nal medication 1 hour prior, figuring that there was not reason for me
not to drink, that in fact I was supposed to. I had two 12 ounce IPA's with dinner, I ordered a third one, but could not finish it, proving there's a first time for everything!

No real hangover the following day, but still some nausea. Monday I did not feel like drinking at all, and today I could go either way. I feel that the nausea is due to the Nal working, and I'm also on Wellbutrin, and I read something on this board about the combination working as an appetite suppressor. If that's the case, no problem, as I need to lose weight anyway. I'm feeling hopeful, but also a bit guilty....thinking about what my AA buddies and society as a whole would say; things are not supposed to be this easy; just swallowing a pill and drink as usual. Then again, I don't believe that things necessarily
are that easy...I still have to work on the reason why I started drinking too much in the first place. Primary suspect is the recurring feelings of depression, and anxiety. I've just ordered a book about something called Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) and plan to do an 8 week self-help program to deal with this issue and see if it helps. Sorry for the long post, I'm a fast typist.

If any of the regulars on this board have read this far, I guess I do have a question. I understand that you're supposed to drink as usual when starting out, but the problem is that I don't
feel like drinking every day anymore. Keep in mind that I've only been a daily drinker for about 4-5 months, then 6 years abstinence prior to that. Will this method still work for me if I only drink, say 1 to 2 times per week or on social occasions only? Alternatively, I could drink just one glass of wine per day, but then I would have to take the medication every day, and there's the nausea to be put up with. Thanks in advance for any advice, and thank you to you all for contributing to this resource!