Hi,

I’m new and would appreciate some guidance on how to initiate alcohol free days. I’ve been drinking approximately a bottle and half of wine every evening for about 15 years. Sometimes I drink hard alcohol but very rarely. Prior to beginning the Sinclair Method, I tried quitting by slowly reducing my intake or just forcing myself to take a day or two off per week but it never lasted. I started taking Naltrexone 50MG on March 1, 2016 and have been very consistent about taking it around 4 pm every afternoon. At first it made me very disinterested in alcohol but after about one week I went back to drinking 4-7 glasses of wine every evening. I drink between 5 pm and 8 pm. Now that I’ve been taking Naltrexone for 4 months I want to move to the next step—reducing my wine consumption, eventually to nothing. I feel a little pathetic saying this but the idea of not drinking is not appealing and so every evening I go home after work and pour a glass of wine. Once I have the first glass I just keep pouring. How have so many of you successfully instituted alcohol free days? Any advice on how to start the process? Thanks, Zephyr

Zephyr - I found it really hard to have AF days. The only way I could have them was to take some Antabuse, which was frowned upon by many here. BUT I felt as you did and desperately wanted to have at least one! I know that the general feeling is not to white knuckle - but I honestly feel that sometimes we need to push to have that first AF day. The mere thought of them scared me initially... and once I had at least one, it was easier to have another the next week. You are still pretty early days I think - others might disagree with me. Maybe try starting an hour later - I used to do as you do, and when I walked in from work, would pour that first drink! Maybe try making yourself wait another hour - find something to do, or eat something sugary maybe? I do not think I am being much help here - maybe someone else can come up with other ideas. I know that being more mindful when drinking is really popular here - I could never do that - after that first one, the mindful thing was gone. We are all different and there are lots of different things you can try - see what works for you.

The main thing is to NEVER drink without the Nal or waiting at least an hour! Sometimes if you take it, wait the hour then wait another hour the urge is less. Also we used to have an AF day each week - where a few of us would all do one - if you didn't that was fine - but at least if we knew the others were doing it too, it sort of helped.

Hugs, Maggie

Hi and welcome. I agree with Maggie that you are still pretty early in, but WAITING to drink really helped me move toward AF days. I just kept having fewer and fewer drinks more easily. worth a try, anyway....

Zephyr, I'll jump in with the others here and say delay your start time.

I was a daily drinker for over 30 years. I started TSM in early January and I didn't have an AF day until the middle of June. But Nal really gave me the ability to challenge that 5pm start time and that helped me challenge other aspects about drinking, like did I really need to have the glass in my hand, or even in the same room? Try changing the start time and when you pour the first glass, take a sip then walk away from it. Don't let the glass or bottle be in your sight, just get up to some little task for 10 or 15 minutes. If you're not drawn to take another sip, let that roll until you are. When you do solidly want another sip, notice how you're feeling. Notice the feeling that's driving you.

That being said, forcing one day might be ok too. Maybe arrange with a friend to go out to a movie, something that will keep you occupied. Give it a shot and see how it works. The only bump in the road might be if you've become dependent on that level of drinking, you might get some withdrawal symptoms, anxiety, etc. Might be better to work on paring it down first, then the AF day.

Are you taking any other meds besides the Nal? Does Nal give you any side effects?

Dear Maggie, Zontar and Joe,

Thanks to the 3 of you for over-lapping and helpful advice. My plan is to give this a try to tonight—to take my first drink about one hour later than usual and to try to be mindful about not gulping it all down at once and taking it a bit slower. My goal is to do this for a few evenings in a row and shoot for an AF night in the very near future.

Here's another question: When you have an alcohol free day/evening do you take your Nal? I imagine that you don't but what if an AF evening turns into an alcohol evening, then your screwing with the whole system of drinking only after taking your Nal.

And one last observation. In the past when I've had an AF evening (before I started taking Nal) I would need to take a sleeping pill to fall asleep. This would help. But about 3 months ago I took my Nal, drank, took a sleeping pill and had very negative reaction—I became zombie like for 24-36 hours. Has anyone else had a negative reaction to combing Nal with a sleeping pill?

Thanks, Zephyr

Zephyr,

It sounds like you are doing great on TSM. Remember that this is a marathon and not a sprint. Everyone is different and this is such a personal experience. What works for one may or may not work for someone else.

With that being said I also was a daily drinker, and the thought of not taking the nal/drinking every night at the same time would bring panic attacks and a lot of anxiety. If this is how you feel, do not try an AF day. It is an awful feeling and very frustrating knowing that alcohol has a hold over you, but it will go away (trust me, for you had a honeymoon period and the rest is just time).

To help myself ease into an AF day I did a couple of things. I would push back the time I would take my pill and I waited longer than an hour (cannot remember which I did first, but I did do one and then the other) and I would keep myself busy while waiting. This allowed my brain to realize that I did not need to drink at a certain time. We are creatures of habit, and there is a difference from just plain habit/routine from addiction. I am not saying that you are addicted to alcohol, for only you could answer that, but knowing the difference helps. My body was used to relaxing with drinking at a certain time, just like feeding a baby. Once I started pushing back the time I took the pill and the time I started drinking one night I had taken my pill around 7:30 pm and before I knew it was bedtime and I forgot to drink. That was when I knew I was ready for an AF day. That anxiety and panic feeling of not drinking at a certain time was no longer there, and I thought it was stupid to drink 1/2 of glass of wine before bed when I really didn't want it. The other thing I did was limit my alcohol because of nal overs. This is something I would never advise anyone to do, but it did help my brain to realize I didn't need a certain amount and to get over the fact it was no longer getting drunk. That was very hard to do at first, and the first couple of weeks of limiting myself to only 3 glasses of wine did make me have some anxiety. But, having nal overs wasn't worth it to me. I knew if I had more than 3 glasses of wine I could get a nal over and once I drank past that amount (or close to it) I would be drinking through the nal and my brain would want more and I would have a hard time stopping at all. I only kept one bottle of wine in the house, for I knew once I drank past a certain amount I would want to keep drinking. I would never advise this either if you think you would go out to get more. To not drink more some nights I would just go to bed early, other nights I would switch to sleepy time tea.

It sounds like you have empty glass syndrome and that is something that you will have to figure out why. Why we drink is just as important as how much we drink. It may take time, and there are tools out there to help figure that out. One is H.A.L.T. which is hungry, angry, lonely, tired. I found out that I would want a drink if I was tired and angry (or any emotion really). I would drink more if I was hungry or lonely (and my husband travels a lot). These are tools for alcoholics trying to be sober, but can work with for anyone trying to figure out why we drink. There is another theory about why people drink the way they do and it has to do with mouse city (I think that is what it is call and there is a link somewhere about here). It basically says that if a mouse is in a cage with nothing to do it will drink, but give a mouse a playground with a lot to do it will not be that interested. So, planning things to do can help.

Maybe you do not drink for a reason which is possible. If you truly enjoy your wine, and that is why you drink, you will be able to limit your amount with time. That is the joy of TSM, for you do not have to give up drinking. TSM is about gaining control.

Again, this is a personal experience and finding what will work for you to move to an AF day might just be time itself. For, like Maggie, some of us just need more time. As long as you follow that golden rule it will happen!

Jaba

If you can do not take your nal. If you do not trust yourself, taking the nal and not drinking will not hurt anything it is just a waste of a pill. DO NOT get in the habit of taking the nal and not drinking.

I have not taken sleeping pills, but they do advise not to drink with them. I think it could be all three (nal, alcohol, sleeping pill), but you could talk to your neighborhood pharmacy to find out if the combo would have caused this. Nal does make some people tired, and I do sleep better on it (but it could be the combo of alcohol and nal). If you feel uncomfortable talking to your pharmacy let me know the name of the sleep pill and I will ask my pharmacist.

Hi Jaba,

Thanks for the very helpful advice—you've introduced a lot good ideas that I hadn't thought about. It's very liberating to finally be communicating "in public" about my addiction. I've kept it a secret, which is exhausting and unproductive.

I'll keep posting to let everyone know of my progress, no matter how slow.

Best, Zephyr

Very cool, Zephyr! We'll look forward to hearing from you.