Hey all,

I recognise some names from myway out forum. Greg - hello. I am in Sydney and I went to a GP at a medical centre I had never been to before - he prescribed me Naltrexone and gave me a lecture on attending AA and not drinking at all. It was post that I discovered the Sinclair method and am just doing it myself. It was $32 for 30 tabs - a months supply. And you can get 1 only repeat for the 2nd month. Give it a go. I am sure you will find some 75 year old doc who will give it to you. Lots cheaper.

By the way - night one. I have had two drinks and nearly ready for bed. Honeymoon days for a while but still feels good.

Hi and thanks folks,

I should be honest here and admit that I have extreme doubts, so it's not just an inability to get a script of naltrexone. If the measure of alcohol intake called units is the same as standard drinks (10 grams of alcohol), then I would have to list my daily level as 130 to 140. I take vitamins and B1 in particular every day to try to protect against brain damage, but at night I also now combine my alcohol intake with other substances such as filtered codeine, DXM (from cough syrup), and cannabis to try to get some sort of high. I can no longer get drunk from alcohol alone, but I do want to end this pointless waste of life. If I can get free of alcohol, then I will also go to AA, just to have the company of other people. I don't have a wife or partner, and I don't want to sober up into a very lonely real life. I hope this makes sense. I started drinking in my 20's due to social anxiety and loneliness, and my inability to achieve a happy life with a loving partner.

The way I see it Greg, not just for you, but for myself and many others here, is what do we have to lose?

I have no doubt in my mind that my alcohol abuse would eventually kill me, and probably sooner than later. I have had friends who have drunk the same or less than me who are already dead. (One girl at 36, another at 47).

I know you think your intake is very extreme, but the people Dr. Eskapa mentioned in his book also had very high intakes if my memory serves me well. I don't have the book here to look it up, but I will do so later.

The Naltrexone should help to kill all those addictions at once, rather than just working on the alcohol.

AA probably would be a good idea for you as it would be a social thing as well, but if you do practice the Sinclair Method I doubt they would take to kindly to you drinking at all.

I found my feelings about myself went up quite a few notches when I started this method, which in turn of course makes you more attractive to other people, and more likely to make new friends.

I really suggest you just bite the bullet and go for it- even within a week you will be amazed, and feel a whole lot better about everything. It is hard to feel positive when we are drinking so much.

Hi Greg,

I think Marbella's reasoning is spot on. I have no other advice other than try to keep yourself safe and, in spite of what you may be feeling, your life is valuable and worth saving.

Hi Greg, I was told by an astute physician that kava kava is very bad for your liver. Maybe you know this by now, OO

When I read over what I have posted, I can see that my doubts and also depression are obvious, even though I didn't set out to say that. Thanks again for the support. I do fully realise that alcohol will kill me unless I take action, but I sort of gave up on myself quite a few years ago and haven't really regained belief in myself or my own value. My depression started before my drinking, over 20 years ago, and has never fully gone away. Thank you Marbella, I do hope the Sinclair Method works for people with a very high daily alcohol intake, and I also hope it can bring about a more positive outlook via reduced drinking...and I hope it can work quickly in some cases. I'm sorry you lost good friends; any loss of life is a tragedy. I should point out that I have never read Dr Eskapa's book as a whole, only parts of it via online quotes. I guess I have my doubts because everything else I thought would work for me in the past failed.

AA is definitely not ideal for me but it's the only face-to-face social network available to me at the moment, and having at least some way of socialising with others would be better than trying to do this alone. I fear the loneliness probably more than anything else, as alcohol has been my way of blocking it out. As for this method clashing with AA beliefs, I will just have to say I'm sober and not mention taking medication...and of course not go to meetings with signs of intoxication or a hangover. I do manage to be sober and reasonably clear-headed during the early evening, which is when AA meetings are usually held here.

Thanks Shasha for your positive support, and also Ocean for your advice. I do still tell myself that I'm worth saving, but I just forget it too often. Hopefully that will change. And yes I've read that kava kava can be dangerous to the liver. I thought it could be a perfect alcohol substitiute a few years ago, but I no longer use it or have access to it.

Greg- You are absolutely 100% worth saving as we all are of course- we just fell into the alcohol trap, and once in there it is very difficult to feel good about ourselves. Once you start to cut down you will feel so much better in a very short time, I promise you.

AA does sound like a good way for you to socialise until you start feeling more confident about things, and if you are like most of us, your alcohol intake will decrease quite quickly with the Naltrexone and you would probably soon find you were starting later and later in the day and have no need to drink before a meeting.

Please keep coming here and let us know how you progress.

(And please order the Nal soon!)

Hi Greg, glad you keep checking in. I think Marbella's right (again!). It's easy to become very isolated when you are struggling with this disease over many years. It can crucify your self-respect and self-confidence. You just got unlucky. Keep fighting. Take care, Shasha

Greg
Keep at it hang in there , read those fine posts again and again .
There's hope always , you've been bashed by this bloody awful affliction
cease the day friend and rejoice that there really is a chance with Sm
and all the time things are coming along that we're fortunate to have
Goodness knows how gloomey it was in former times .
i hope you make your commitment and follow through.

Hi Greg -
My heart goes out to you and your fear of loneliness. I identify. I need to refresh my memory of where you are - Australia?? But my dear, you are not alone here!! I want you to remember the many many people who love you and that the world would be a lesser place for them if not for you! Seriously. Remember your family & friends. PLease try to find that silver lining. And if they are not reaching out to you...reach out to them. YOU make the call to stir something up. YOU make it happen - do it! Call a friend to see a movie, walk around a park or zoo, go get ice cream...I have to prompt my son all the time. There are easy things to do and many people wait for someone else to call - you do it!! Hell, even if it's to go get a few beers, take Nal beforehand, and arrange a taxi home...but get out there and be with people. It makes a huge difference, Greg. If your friends have wandered, surely there are "leisure learning" publications in your city that post things like dance, cooking, relationship, finance, language classes and the like that might be a source of interest. I know you are concerned about your drinking, as we all are, but in spite of the amount you drink you can still forge a life for yourself. Take one step at a time. One step. This is not AA but one step at a time is not bad advice. We are here & care. I do.

What I tell you is the peptalk bullshit I tell myself on days when I just want to stay in bed and listen to my wierd heartbeat and wish it would all just go away. But then I know...in my heart of hearts...


Life is truly good. You are "The New Day" - look up the King's Singers and that song... it will inspire you to carpe diem, my friend! Hang in there. No matter how much you drink or think you are bad, there is always something worse! Don't you find that to be true at every AA meeting you go to?? Somebody always has a worse habit than you do?? My sister & I joke when we are feeling fat we should go to a Wal-Mart or a water park..seriously. You are not bad. You are one of millions!! And you are worthwhile and have a great life ahead...

We are all here for the hope and promise of a better future. Do not, for a second, think you are in a black hole of lonliness and isolation. We are here - perhaps not holding you at night - but a group of supportive friends all the same. And lest we forget, of all ages and stages...

Hang in here, Greg - we are the group.
XXXOOO