I'd have to say Yes and No. I had had a bad day and then would use a little will power but other times, I just said, "Oh well". I do think it is a good think to deny yourself drinking for whatever period you are capable of and then drink on Naltrexone when you "fall off". I found that to be a good pattern for me. I don't mean white knuckle dry but simply stretch your non-drinking time a little. My rationale for this is when you come off a self-imposed dry up, you produce a lot of endorphins but with the Naltrexone, you block the absorption. I think it accelerates the extinction.

Glad to see a sister coming along.

Hi minneapolisnick,
I haven't been reading this thread that close so I don't know what you have already been told. And you are spot on in that most of us went from alcohol users, to abusers, to addicts. I say "most" since there are some who claim they were born alcoholics. I disagree but don't wish to argue.

Actually, what you believe is of little consequence to the Sinclair Method, as long as you comply. The Method will treat the addiction but not do much for any underlying motivations. But you may discover that you are considerably more confident once the addiction is abated. Being addicted is being out of control and ALL anxieties stem from believing that life’s events are outside of your control.

AA has helped an uncountable number of people go way beyond not drinking. The 12 step program has been studied and written about by myriad psychologists and is the envy of many a group therapist. How they phrase the "higher-power" is one of the unique things that made the program so palatable for so many. The program could even work for an atheist as yourself. One aspect of a higher-power I have used was an inner self I call the witness. The witness is that part of me that watches all other parts of myself. It is not my emotions but that which is aware of what I am feeling. It is not my thoughts but that which is aware of what I am thinking. It is the me that is always aware of my being. It is the quietest of voices. The one that you hear at 3 AM. When you are able to identify with the witness, all your anxieties will cease. Or at least they will be of no significance. But let Sinclair get the addiction out of the way and we can tend to other maladies later. For now, that little 50mg pill is your higher power. Believe in it until it has proven otherwise.

Hi happy4once,

I must apologize for not thanking you sooner for such kind and supportive words but I have only just stumbled across your post. You are absolutely correct when you say that it must be frustrating but I fully intend to continue as I have too much to lose at this stage.

Thanks again.

All the best,

V.

There is a "magic pill." At least for me there is. I hesitate to share my full experience while so many others are still suffering on this board, but I am going to be honest.

On Friday, June 5 my GF worked late and she gave me permission to go out on my own to hear music at two different venues as I love live music. From 7 to 830 I saw my buddy sing at one place -- a sort of a dive with great music and some shady people. My motto has always been I go where I like the music, regardless of who is there. Typically, I would have had at least five drinks before heading out but not on Friday. Maybe it's the newly gained confidence I have from regaining some control in my life as SpringerRider so accurately notes on his post. But regardless, I went out this night to the shady bar with no drinks under my belt. I have NEVER done this before at this venue and rarely would have done this at any bar -- 90% of the time when I go out, I've lubed up with at least 3-5 drinks in advance.

I took my place alone in the back of the venue. My buddy is a world-class singer and was in fine form. I had three beers over 1.5 hours -- the exact amount I had allotted myself in advance. For the first time ever, I was enjoying the music primarily and the booze was an afterthought, as opposed to the other way around. Usually upon arriving at this joint I will have guzzled three drinks in the first fifteen minutes. I really enjoyed the music, fully realizing that what I was doing would have been entirely impossible just two weeks before TSM.

I left that venue at 8:30 and took a break as the next event was not scheduled until 10 PM. I didn't drink a drop to keep the party going between gigs. Again, UNPRECEDENTED. I knew exactly how much I could drink on that night at my weight and was not going to threaten the DWI laws again -- with one under my belt, a second one would DESTROY my life: no driving for three months, period. Anyway, I calculated 9 beers from 7 PM until 1 AM -- or 6 hours. That would be .73 -- close to .80, the legal limit, so 9 would be the ABSOLUTE ceiling for the night.

I went to the second venue at 10 PM alone. Normally, Nick without alcohol would not be comfortable listening to live music alone and would get through the anxiety by pounding several drinks in advance. Not Nick on Nal. (We'll call him "NON"). NON went in there, got a beer, enjoyed the music and felt relatively care-free. At one point two lovely young ladies pulled up in front of me and started dancing. One in particular was shaking her rather nice figure a few feet in front of me and as I ignored her, she brushed up on me. Before TSM and with several drinks under my belt, I would NOT have let this pass. A dance or a chat would be harmless, right? Wrong! NON figured he is living with someone, is in a committed relationship so why bother. NON went and got a second beer, leaving the ladies behind. This is another miracle, take my word for it. (Not a cheater but definitely a big flirter.)

By 1 AM I was on my 5th beer -- 8th for the night and one under my ceiling -- and was barely buzzed but feeling just fine. I could have had another in the final hour as the show stopped at 2. Didn't need it, didn't want it. ANOTHER MIRACLE. I went home to GF, having checked in with her by cell phone two times during the night. She was very happy when I got home, completely sober and completely living up to my word about how much I would drink. (After three years of failing to live up to my promises about limiting my in-take, it was yet another miracle.) She also views this whole evening of controlled drinking as nothing less than a miracle. I know, I know, so many miracles in one night, we can no longer use the word "miracle."

I went AF Saturday. Sunday, I went to the bar and had two strong ones, probably 3-4 units. I left the bar with no need or thought of having more. Another miracle. No, we'll use a new term -- how about "Nal-Experience"? BTW, sleep after both nights SUCKED -- still having nightmares and restless sleep. Sunday, fell asleep at 2 AM and got up at 5 AM Monday morning. Did not go back to sleep.

Monday, yesterday, GF and I went to happy hour, two-for-one. Usually I have two (four) plus her second of the two-for-one, ie, five to her one in about an hour, plus the meal. Yesterday, I had my one and did not finish the second one. GF had her glass of wine and per usual, didn't have her second. WHAT WAS UNHEARD OF WAS WE LEFT THE BAR AND I DIDN'T DRINK HER GLASS. We left after an hour or so with one glass of wine and my half beer on the table. Another "Nal-Experience."

There is a "magic pill." I don't think this is the "honeymoon." I think given the combination of me being highly sensitive to medication, combined with my unique habit where I am typically AF 3-4 days per week, have combined to make me super responsive to TSM. I am re-posting this progress report under Jim's DUBIOUS post, "There's no magic pill." I completely disagree and my intake to this point surely would indicate that he is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

For the record: Pre-TSM 50, week one 26 units, week two, 16 units. As the legendary SpringerRider says, "DRINKING TO MY HEALTH."

This is incredibly astute, SR. While my experience with AA was dismal (to say the least), I totally understand the inner witness concept. Very Zen. . .where I managed to go at times when the pressures were otherwise unbearable. That witness has saved my sanity, and perhaps my life. Staying in that place while still addicted, however, is not possible. Sometimes, by some form of grace, I've been able to connect with that inner presence (my word for it) not when actually drinking, but when alcohol is still a ruling factor in my life.

I also appreciate the succinct way you describe the root of anxiety: fear of being out of control. I had not made that strong an association before, but see clearly that you are right.

Thanks for the input. You are much appreciated.

GFM is absolutely correct, SpringerRider makes profound points concisely and I was so caught up in my own "miracles", I neglected to address some of his key points. As I was feebly grappling with my last AA effort to find a "higher power" I came up with one -- the voice of my father. My father, who died recently, was not a big drinker. Whenever I was drinking destructively after his death, a voice inside my head said, "This is not right. Dad would rollover in his grave (if he had one) if he saw this." I grew to recognize that voice as my "inner voice" or, as my "witness" or, as they would have me call it in AA, "my higher power." Call it whatever you want, but that rational voice that tells me, "You know this is stupid, you are ruining your own life" has always been there for me, even when I'm thoroughly trashed. But just as I was learning to view my father's voice as my "higher power", TSM came along and is saving my life. I still hear the voice on TSM, and inevitably, it is now saying, "Yes, keep doing what you are doing, you are on the right track, this is great" as opposed to, "WTF??"

SpringerRider, your posts are very valued around here. I know I speak for many others when I say, "keep in touch", even after the cure.

Thanks for your words.

Nick

Drinking to my Health also (I think; I hope)

minneapolisnick, great post! sounds like you know how relationships can be so much better because of TSM. When I started to use Sinclair people were amazed at how they could get a hold of me on the phone and I didn't sound totally hammered. I also love live music btw. I just saw Bradford Marsellias. Best Jazz I had seen in years. I took my pill before I left and was able to converse with all kinds of musicians I would have never been able to talk to in the past because I would have been too drunk. It's great to be on a different side of this situation. Glad you had a good time and didn't think you needed to get wasted to have a great time. That is what I love about this method. All the best!