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It's been a solid 4 weeks. Here are my weekly totals:

Week 16: 25
Week 17: 15
Week 18: 17
Week 19: 12

Nothing major to report. I'm averaging ~4 AF days per week.

Not drinking is absolutely no problem. But when I do take my Nal and choose to drink, I still have a sense of wanting to have that second or third one. I tend to stop pretty easily around 4 or 5 units, which is nice. But many nights, a lingering low-grade feeling of "I'd like another" after 2 drinks. It's dissipating over time though. Each week that passes I get the sense that my brain is lowering its urges, triggers and desire for alcohol.

I usually choose to drink for social reasons. If I'm home solo or traveling, for the most part, I don't bother drinking. I am starting to enjoy a cold La Croix flavored sparkling mineral water in the evening.

-W

"Nothing major to report. I'm averaging ~4 AF days per week."

I'd say that cutting your intake in half over 4 weeks is pretty decent progress, Wolfie! You're way into the "safe drinking" zone, from a high of 50 units/wk, not so shabby!

Good work on listening to your brain, keep on rollin' with that, for sure.

Week 20: 16.5 (0, 5, 1.5, 0, 6, 4, 0)
Week 21: 16 (0, 7, 0, 0, 5, 0, 4)
Week 22: 9 (0, 0, 7, 0, 2, 0, 0)

Not drinking is still easy.

A few slippery nights of 4-7 drinks where I reported feeling "a bit drinky." Usually socially driven. If alone, I usually opt out of drinking but smoking pot has had an uptick as I recently got my medical marijuana card here in DC. I enjoy it, and it's way better for me than alcohol, but I sometimes observe habitual and repetitive behavior in myself with weed.

I'm appreciative not to be abstinent at this point. On my recent wedding anniversary I had the best day. We split some champagne-- which is an 8 year tradition... and enjoyed some nice wine. I guess it wouldn't be a big deal if I hadn't drank, but I imagine it would have been a bit sad and hard to "avoid" drinking. I stopped after a couple and didn't have a hangover, and got to enjoy being together without worrying about consuming too much. Lovely.

I got some foreign Naltima from AllDayChemist.com. As I posted before, the Nodict I procured from River Pharmacy a few months ago seemed to have little effect on me. (Possibly because of its coating, it didn't absorb properly.) Last night I took a Naltima for the first time and my stomach hurt and my face felt weirldy flush, so I'm wondering if it's different than the US Naltrexone I get from my doc. I ordered this new stuff for convenience and curiosity. I know some people can't get Nal and have to order online, so I guess I'm seeking some RX wisdom so I might be able to give advise to someone in the future.

Otherwise, all good.

Sounds like you continue to make progress, Wolfie. Well done!

I do wonder about the QC with overseas sources. As noted with Nodict, the coating can be different and I understand the inactive ingredients can be different as well, so that might explain some of it. One other TSM'er posted that she had some old Revia that she tried and found it worked well, but had bad SE's from some Nal she got from overseas.

I let an evening get away from me recently.

We rent a house over on the Eastern Shore of MD. Beautiful, peaceful setting. Friends visit often, and it's a place where much rosé and booze tends to flow. This season has been very low-key for me, drinking-wise since starting TSM. Which is great, as hangover-free days means I can enjoy paddle boarding, long walks, and great meals all that much more the next day instead of medium-to-strong hangovers ruling my daytimes.

Anyway, a couple friend came out for some fun and sun last week. Wine was popped about 4PM and I abstained until about 7. Everyone was pacing well, and we were having a fantastic day. Stories on the dock. Naps in the hammock. Canoe rides. All with wine bottle popping open every so often. Dinner blended into crazy conversations into funny YouTube videos. Wine, wine, then Rum! At 2am, we called it an evening. I remember everything, but have really no idea how many units of Al I consumed. Probably 10-12... but who knows. I was drinking very habitually and mindlessly.

The next day, I felt absolutely wrecked. Nervous and shaky, and certainly a "Nal-over." We had some more friends join us this day, and there two young kids wanted to play in the pool. I managed to rally and make a showing of being part of the group... but barely. I felt like I was about to puke or have a seizure or fall apart all at the same time. I was really looking forward to this day of being with kids. Unfortunately I was pretty consumed with feeling terrible and went to bed around 8PM with a few Xanax. It was awkward as hell, and I think everyone was weirded out by me feeling so bad.

I actually continued to feel bad for the next three days! Little anxious aftershocks and stomach churnings kept arising.. even 48-72 hours after!

My take-aways are that I absolutely can't handle big drinking nights anymore. It's simply not worth it, and I need to work on ways to limit my high ends somehow. Talked to the wife about it a lot and came up with some ideas on how to avoid getting carried away with social buzzy interactions - which are my kryptonite. She is super-supportive and said she was proud of how far I have come, which seemed odd as I still feel like I have so much more to grow.

I haven't craved any Alcohol at all since then about a week ago. I think each episode of Nal + heavy drinking is continuing to Pavlovianly train my brain to disassociate booze from enjoyment. But habitual behavior and patterns remain apparently. I love people and bonding and drinking together. It's such a big part of my lifestyle and conditioning.

But my body just can't take it. Maybe it's the Nal which causes extra fat hangovers, but I don't care. I welcome planting these red flags in my journey because I really think it's changing my frontal lobes and their association with drinking slowly over this time. If I had gone the AA / abstinence route, I'm sure this would have been a shame-ridden "slip-up" and reset. I'm so grateful to the TSM method for helping with this major life-change.

Here's to a couple weeks of not drinking,

-W

"I actually continued to feel bad for the next three days! "

OW! Sorry you had such a horrible experience, Wolfie! It does seem that the social gatherings are a tough one for folks. Some have said that biz conventions are difficult in this respect too, alch flowing all the time. You're so luck to have such a great lady on your side, that's a huge plus! I think you've got a really healthy POV about the experience, thanks for that post.

Enjoy your coming AF days, hope to hear from you soon!

(Another night with friends and drinking, this time was much better than last!)

What a difference some thoughtfulness and attention to behavior can make.

Another day at the bay two nights ago, with a new batch of fun-loving friends out for an overnight. This time, I paced myself and only had about 6 drinks over the course of 8 hours of festivities. Everyone else was drinking pretty hard, and started early. I waited till dinner, drank slowly and ended up having a blast with almost no hangover.

Getting my wife involved before hand to get a "plan" was very helpful. She was on board, attentive to me and very supportive. She suggested she would be my server and bring me drinks as needed and I would only drink when handed one. I was worried this would stress me out, by either leaving me hanging or somehow her lording over this control in a way... but none of that happened. I drank slow and chill -- and not getting my own drinks was a nice freedom to just not worry about refills.

The next day was so nice to feel great and be engaged. No headache. A perfect example of how "doable" moderate drinking may be for me.

I was determined not to let the evening get away from me like last time, and that intention was important to keep me in line. I even caught myself a few times noticing an urge to "grab one more" and then backing off.

I feel like this night was a "win" for me. 6 drinks in a day is still a lot. This was a special day, and I was on the low end of average for the group - which is historically unheard of for me.

Here's a look at my weekly totals since starting TSM:

Stellar post, Wolfie! Excellent way to handle the situation, kudos to you and the wife!

This post should be pinned!

Ditto JSP I love this post too and the previous one about the Nalover. It's really encouraging.
Well done Wolfie. I recognise all those feelings, especially on the Nalover. My Nalovers where I have let loose have been horrendous. It's a real lesson to learn I guess.

I know that feeling of just wanting to party like old times but when I think about it those nights where I went out and partied weren't always that great. In fact I'd always end up spending more than I should, sleeping less than I should, embarrassing myself in some way, arguing, crying. The next day and days would be full of guilt, shame and anxiety.When I truly think about it - it was not always fun at all.


Good on you for getting control of your life back and thanks for letting us know what's happening!

MD