Hi Everyone...a call today from a friend regarding my use of TSM & Nal made me realize that its been awhile since I've posted an update although I still view the site almost daily. To those progressing nicely, keep up the good work!
Its been a hectic few weeks for me as at home issues continue to be a big source of stress along with being self-employed (business could be better) and my father going into the hospital (he should be fine).
I find that the habit of having one drink (which leads to many) is still there. I follow the golden rule...always, but see that my #'s have been creeping up again. I know through reading others comments that this can happen and I will maintain my course.
Some observations so far...
1) I don't nearly drink as much beer as before!
2) I like brandy...and I still do I find that at night (usually after family retires) I can race through 7-9 (sometimes more) shots of it, then off to bed...This makes me very slow the following morning and self esteem gets shot because of the inside voice telling me I'm such an idiot for doing it. I really hate this!
3) I get easily frustrated at things...work, wife, kids, comments by people...I think this is due to me not being pleased with myself and not getting better sleep.
I know where I would like my life to be but find every time I have I have a sip of AL, it makes it harder to get there!
I will continue this journey and although right now I'm not seeing the light, I know its still early and that I have to give it time. As many have said...it took years to get here, it won't go away
overnight (But I wish it would)...lol.
Thanks for the support on this forum and good luck to everyone!

Hey TTC, looks like you're still seeing a good reduction. Good work on keeping up the log!

"3) I get easily frustrated at things...work, wife, kids, comments by people...I think this is due to me not being pleased with myself and not getting better sleep."

And hangover!

Keep in mind too, that AL causes your kidneys to waste magnesium, which has an impact on anxiety/anger/level of ease. Maybe for the sleep an OTC sleep aid would help, or an analgesic/sleep aid (Advil PM or the like).

Take a look at Joanna's post here and try practicing the mindful drinking suggestion when you go off on a tear with the brandy (especially with the first shot). It will likely take some practice, but getting in the habit of bringing the conscious part of your brain to the party will help you accelerate your results:

http://optionssavelives.freeforums.net/ ... hints-tips

Another angle to come at it from would be to take a sip of the shot, then get it and the bottle away from you so you don't have the visual/sensory cues going on. Get up to some little 15 minute project, then come back and have another sip. Again, you're inviting the conscious part of your brain (the prefrontal cortex) in to break up the proceedings so the automatic reruns of "Leave it to Boozer" (the unconscious habit) don't happen without a "brief word from our sponsors" (your conscious brain). I've had a lot of luck with that one myself, so give it a shot and see how you do. A bit of practice and it's not difficult to do at all. This gives you the opportunity to work on the habit while the Nal is working on the craving.

That being said, you're getting there anyway, so congrats and keep it up!

wanted to give an update and let everyone know I'm still here...
What can I say, It's been a bitch of a past few weeks...drank more AL than I wanted, depression, no motivation, failure to see the future, hate my work, distant from kids & wife, can this work??...WOW!
I find my mind is disgusted with me even having one drink, let alone 7+ in a night...but I know my #'s are down somewhat.
I am self-employed worker and the industry I work in is hurting and I feel like I am failing my myself. I want to have control not over my business but also this elephant on my back!!
I know it will take time!!! IT IS HARD THAT IT TAKES TIME!! My mind goes to the negative and I know that is the AL talking.
Positive notes: Last Saturday I played golf and was hooked up with new people at the course I belong to. I was anxious as heck because my self esteem is at a low due to my AL. HOWEVER...after the round they asked me to join them for a beer and I did (I always follow the rule...1hr)...I enjoyed beers and came home not craving more!!! It was sooo weird!!
My problem was that a neighbour (who likes his AL) was solo and asked me to join me for a few and I did....even though I didn't want too. I didn't go hard but I still feel like I failed
I find that I am not craving AL as much anymore but get into situations that make me partake. I know that I need to change these situations and maybe even some of the people but it is hard to let go.
I also know that I drink my AL quickly...meaning I can have 7-8 shots of brandy (US units) in a glass quickly (1hr)...this disappoints me in myself the next day and I'm also hungover (I don't know if I've experienced a "Nalover" as of yet), I just assume it's a hangover.
Over the past few days, Although my units have not gone down, the time period I take to drink them has increased...and I feel better.
tonight, I will go to bed having 8 units over 6 hours...I had a glass but kept busy doing other things and it lasted...This is something I will try to do going forward.
Because I'm anxious of my AL intake, I think that makes me feel more effected by the AL than a "regular" drinker, meaning I feel drunker, but I'm still trying to figure it out.
I have dedicated this program to myself for at least 1 year and hope it gets easier as I see the success of others!
Best of luck to all!!

I also have a question..."Do any of you feel so focused on this journey, that it is becoming an obsession to quit?"
I wanted to ask as I feel like "I HAVE TO DO THIS TO GET MY LIFE SORTED!!"

You're cool, TTC. As far as I can see, you're right on track. There seems to be a bit of a crisis at about 2 weeks and/or 2 months, it comes up time and time again. You got the initial reaction to the Nal and no mistake about it. Keep on going. The beast just realized who's boss ------> and it doesn't like it! <------

Soooo, this might be a good time to retrench and look at what comes up for you as the anesthesia (booze) wears off, so if there are issues that were powering your drinking you start moving to integrate that into the overall solution. Maybe look to when the drink starts disappearing more quickly and use awareness techniques to give your feelings some space and gain an expanded experience of "what's up" for you at that moment. It's not supposed to result at the outset in a drop in your drinking, it's more about you starting to be comfortable in operating in that arena, so practice, practice, practice. While the Nal is working from the one direction, you can be working the awareness angle because, well, when you get free, you're not going to end up sitting in a chair with an empty snifter in your hand, staring at the wall. You will have filled in with something else that satisfies (review "selective extinction", if you don't have Dr. Eskapa's book we'll get you a free PDF copy). Perfectly good time to start working it from both ends.

Yep!

Hi TTC - I found that as things changed, I did have trouble with lots of stuff going on in my life - I wanted the Nal to work SO much - but I also was scared of what would happen when it did work. I do not like change - find my routine comforting and found it very hard not for the AL to not have the same effect on me - and yes I did feel as if it was an obsession - BUT that passed! It took me so long to finally get sorted - and now I am having trouble dealing with life without AL - things are so different and it has not been easy - but I do NOT want to drink so am just trying to deal with things and move forward!

In some ways I think it is good that the Nal does take so long to work - we have been drinking for a long time and so to have it change overnight would be disconcerting (I think). Try and just let it all be and go with the flow - I am sorry that your business is tough right now and that makes you feel that other areas of your life are hard but you are also dealing with it all without the comfort of your old pal, AL, doing the same thing it used to and having the same effect - which makes things doubly hard! Try and step back from it and just take one tiny step at a time - try and deal with things by taking a deep breath and knowing that you are human - not Superman! If you do drink - and that includes going to your neighbour and having a few with him, then so be it - this will be sorted eventually - but in the meantime try not to hate yourself for doing what you have done for so long - Nal is a tool and as such will not be a miracle in your life for everything - ONLY the AL. I have finally started meditating regularly - I was getting so stressed and realised that AL had always been my safety valve - now that I do not have that I had to find something else and meditating is fitting the bill nicely. Try it - even if it is only 5 mins at night or in the morning - it will build up, trust me! And truly It does help!

Wishing you all the best - hang in there,

Hugs, Maggie

Maggie, have you seen Calm.com? TTC, you may want to have a gander at it too, they even have a smartphone app. If nothing else, it's got really relaxing sights and sounds, but it does offer guided meditation too. Someone else here suggested it, I forget who.

TTC, there's a book by Alex Korb called "The Upward Spiral". It covers the different parts of the brain and what those parts do. On the surface it's about dealing with depression, but it covers quite a bit about anxiety and stress. It even goes over the part of the brain that's involved with addiction (the Striatum). I thought it was well worth the price.

Thanks Joe - I used to meditate many years ago and so have my tried and trusted methods - thanks anyway - although I definitely will have a look at the place that you suggest! It was just hard to get back into it - but now I am it is going really well. How are you doing these days?

Hugs, Maggie

Still cruising along at about 25% of pre-TSM levels, still getting the SE's, but I'm working with it the best I can.