Thank you Jaba and Joesixpack!

Jaba on the first night I went to SMART I told the leader about taking Nal and drinking and he didn't like the sound of that. I tried to explain about the Finland results but he wasn't really interested. So I tell them Im taking Nal for the cravings but I don't talk about the Sinclair method. Maybe in time I will but for the time being I just find it helpful to talk with other addicts. The leader is a bit of a narcissist and a bit biased towards abstinence I guess but he is abstinent and it works for him. There are people there who try and abstain and often fall off the wagon. Sinclair may help them but I don't feel I can really advise them. Im not the leader and they are working with doctors on recovery. Some of them are on valium as well. Im just pleased I don't have to listen to 12 steps, higher power, disease drivel! Not for me!

MD

Yeah, even on the SmartRecovery.org forums they fire a shot over your bow if you talk about anything but abstinence. I'm glad that you have the face to face resource to plug into though! They do have some good tools to help a person tamp down the numbers during a drinking session.

MD,

No one that is sober wants to hear that there is a cure, for it rocks their boat too much. It is hard being sober (I had been 3 times and failed) and to hear that you could drink would blow anyones mind and could cause them to fall off the wagon (without the nal). It is sad, but it keeps the harmony of the meetings (and the sanity of the leader).

I think I would rather be on nal and drink (or not drink) than be on benzos and not drink, but what ever gets you through to the other side is all that matters. It is sad for I am sure the smart recovery leader realizes that those on benzos are trading one addiction for another; and I thought benzos were only to be used on a short term bases (3-7 days) to help you over that hump of withdrawal.

I agree with you about it being helpful talking to other addicts and that is why I share so much here (sorry if it gets on anyones nerves), but going to an AA meeting wasn't for me (been there, not my cup of tea), and I didn't even want to consider a smart meeting after that.

Doing TSM can be nerve wracking and frustrating in many ways, so sharing is good in any and every form. It is all about making you into a healthier drinker, and healthier person, and those meeting are helpful in that respect. And it is doing wonders for you!

Nal on,

Jaba

Thanks Jaba and JSP for your support!

Wow - a single digit total units for the week and 4 AFDs. On Friday night I had 3.9 units and on Saturday 1.3 units. However tonight Wednesday night, I have felt a major craving and am on my second unit and Im going out to dinner. I am feeling the effects of alcohol, not the rush but I feel nice and relaxed. Hopefully I will stay that way. Am happy with my progress however- 4 AFDs with not much effort at all. Thank you Nal and thank you to TSM and thanks to my friends on this Board.

Hope everyone is having a good week.

MD

Looking great, Moderate!

I've noticed a rebound after low numbers, I think it's all good. Congrats on the 4 craving-free days!

Moderatedrinker - I am curious - when did you go up to 75mg ? And how long were you on 50 mg? I am really pleased that you can go to the Smart group - although so sad that you cannot talk about TSM. Great that you are doing so well.....

Hugs, Maggie

MD,

Your progress is remarkable, and you should be dancing in the streets! Only 9 weeks in with 4 AF days, and not much effort....amazing!

You must be a fast responder lucky duck!

Keep us up to date, for I know that life does get busier without alcohol on you mind all the time.

Jaba

Well today Im not feeling so good. In fact I feel so awful physically and I did not go to work.I had my Nal at about 4pm and then drank two ciders at home (after an hour). I went out for dinner at 730 and drank half a bottle of wine, then another glass of wine at another bar and then came home and had a beer. I was drunk and threw up. It was awful. I probably had 10 units- which is what I had in a week last week Am very disappointed in myself. I remember being on a bit of a mission to drink more.

Its terrible not going to work because of drink. I feel massively guilty and depressed. I was so happy with my progress yesterday and now I am so pissed off with myself.
JSP -you saw it coming
Jaba - not so good now
Maggie I moved up to 50 mg from 25 a couple of weeks ago now (not 75).

I didn't drink mindfully. I just drank to get drunk- just like before. At least I didnt fight with my partner and he wasn't angry at me. He felt sorry for me having to clean up!

Maybe the throwing up will help with the Extinction process. I really do not want to go there again......

MD

MD - do not be angry at yourself- your brain is trying to get the buzz - it will not give up without a fight. As long as you took the nal, that is all that matters - you just learn from it and move on. We have all been there and done that. And sorry I got confused about the 75 - not sure where that came from! Please just move on - try not to beat yourself up - it is but a slip - not a train wreck!

HUGS, Maggie