Well that's lousy luck. Hope you're feeling better soon, NDF.

I'm not surprised that you overshot your goal, you're early into the process and that seems to happen a fair bit. Heal up well and carry on!

NDF - things sound as if they are going really well for you, and no worries re the perceived setback - this is a roller coaster ride and you will go up and down - but eventually will get there. I agree with whomever said that you should not force AF days - but by the same token, if you do not want to drink, then don't. Good for you taking the Nal as you are supposed to, and also taking it with you everywhere!

I saw in your first post that you said that you possibly used AL to self medicate when you got down - I Just e-mailed a fellow member here as yesterday I WANTED to WANT a drink! I have been feeling a tad down - and so wished I could want a drink - but alas, I didn't!

I admire your strength re the abstaining as you are on ABX - even if I had been on them I would still drink!

You sound as if you are doing lots of reading and research - I think it is great as that way you understand all the logistics about the nal - I do think you will succeed.

good to have you on the boards,

hugs, Maggie x

NDF,

Your progress is looking great, and you will get there with time because you are adhering to that golden rule (which is awesome). TSM is a rollercoaster ride just strap yourself in and go with the flow. You will enjoy the ride somedays and other days you won't, but the out come is always the same. You will get there.

I do agree with Maggie with not forcing AF days; if you can do them, you can do them, but if you cannot there is no harm, and no failure, your brain just is not ready.

I would not have been able to abstain for anything (not even fasting blood work, or meds), so be proud at the fact that you can, for it is something that is very admirable. You are putting your health first and not the alcohol! Amazing!

Keep doing what you are doing and keep us posted,

Jaba

Well, the good news (or bad maybe ) is that you and I can drink on the particular ABX I'm on, as there is no interaction with alcohol whatsoever apparently. I assumed that drinking and ABX's are a nogo, but my info is a bit out of date since this is the first series I've had in about 12 years. I still will drink very conservatively to the best of my ability and probably try to keep at least one AF day.



I appreciate your kind words. In rehab, I had much time to do research probably in reaction to the AA and 12-step dogma I received I think I perhaps tend to overthink, but find this experience a bit fascinating and the fluxes in my drinking and perceptions to be mindboggling...

I appreciate your feedback. But I have to say that AF or abstinence days do not feel all that forced to me. I must say that although I am having some minor cravings for a beer today (**** weather and arctic cold do that to me ), it is something I have been doing at least once or twice a week (for the most part) for about three years now, even in my heaviest, darkest drinking periods. I had to because of liver screenings, which sometimes came back high. So it feels rather normal and even during bouts of heavy drinking I liked the refresh I felt after a day off or two. Perhaps the silver lining of having a disease like Rheumatoid Arthritis is that it forced my drinking down in that aspect, once I received the proper treatment with the right meds.

Although, I believe the final straw of me going over to the dark side of addiction and developing a true addiction pathway was the heavy drinking and the steady and constant flow of beer I used as my only means to deal with almost crippling pain for five months. Now, I don't even take the meds such as Humira because I feel like I am in partial if not total remission. Don't get me wrong, it was difficult not to drink for a day at first, but once I got used to it it was no big deal. I think addiction is perhaps more than just physical dependence and the brain enforcing cravings to head off ADE. There is perhaps a psychosomatic "crutch" aspect of using booze as part of a daily routine that can be changed with less difficulty than imagined by someone who has been drinking daily and heavily for years. I went through a pattern of binging in my 20's followed by a period of semi-moderation where I was fairly disciplined and only drank two or three beers on a weeknight. But even as I was not physically dependant, I NEEDED to have at least two every day or I didn't feel right.

In fact, I suspect more people would do AF days a bit faster and more frequently if they knew the benefits once they get past that mental barrier of living without alcohol for 24-48 hours. I've seen one young woman (can't recall her username) here cut down to just one or two drinks on some days, but not be able to let go to zero for fear of insomnia. I think that is purely psychosomatic and there are other options such as melatonin and Benedryl to help with sleep. I also felt rather good after taking the 39-day break from alcohol and felt profound changes in how I felt after about two weeks. I contemplated becoming fully teetotaler, but there are real benefits to "moderate drinking", which I've read around should actually be more like 20 per week for men in their 30's-60's. I also noted the downside of being a bit socially anxious and feeling very sensitive to everything when I quit. And perhaps the biggest feeling of periodic boredom that drove me back into the bars. But the sleep was great and I definitely had more energy and am contemplating a period of abstinence of about a month once I feel 'cured', which will be months from now I think...

I really appreciate your last paragraph, NDF. getting in a full 24-48 hours can be a big breakthrough for some of us. for a long time I felt almost OBLIGATED to drink, and the whole sleep/insomnia thing I discovered really was quite psychosomatic. yesterday (cold, crappy saturday) I had another AF day, enjoyed reading, Indian take-out (w/o wine!), and had another experience of yes, I can really enjoy myself without AL. at least for me, PLANNING those days is critical, even if they are only "semi-forced".

See this response in another thread for update...

NDF -

Do not beat your self up over your recent spike up. It is pretty normal for that to happen. It has been described as a rollercoaster ride. Just take the heavy drinking as a long extinction event. You have all the signs that TSM will work for you - but do not expect a straight to the cure path. It very seldom is reported that way on this forum. If you had a bad night or two - so be it - just keep taking the pill an hour before you drink and it will work for you over time.

Oh yeah - and try not to drive if you have a bad night. I know it is easy to say - but you should try to find alternative rides if you get over the limit. I have suffered through the dui's and accidents so I know it is painful mentally and financially.

Oh, I think I'm not too down over a few beers. I was riding public transport and it was over several hours so I am not really discouraged. I think I've looked around here a bit more and will make sure I slow down and consider every drink. I was under the impression that I was supposed to guzzle like normal. I tend to be a fast drinker no matter the liquid whether alcoholic or not. At one point I could guzzle a 12oz beer in a second or two after watching too many "Three Sheets" episodes. But lately the slowing down is working well. The past two drinking sessions I largely enjoyed the taste but tallied 3.5 beers and 1 beer each day, so things are trending well I think...