That's easy. It holds peace, love - and sobriety.

How's it going Kris? I was reading and not only hypothroid but also we have to watch for pre-diabetes. Because of the "western diet" tons of the population is pre diabetic. A friend is a head nurse of clinical research on diabetes and she says we are the verge of an epidemic so I try to keep sugar to a minimum but I have tried many times to get it out of my diet all together. Impossible. It's a full time job just watching out for everything. Our bodies are doing wild and crazy things.

Wine is loaded with sugar, ugh, drink of choice!

Wow - it's tough to catch up after a few days of no Internet access! Great to see all the new members, but hard to keep track of them all. I tried to welcome them all, but hope I didn't miss anybody.

Potato - congrats on being done with the math class! I'm thinking of going back to school, but the thought of all the math and science frightens me. I don't have the money now anyhow, so no worries for now. Just glad you're free! As far as the sugar/calories/carbs/whatever - I love beer and it's pretty bad too.

Somewhere on the board someone (craving, I think?) posted a link to an article discussing the benefit of Naltrexone and Wellbutrin when combined to promote weight loss. This really has me thinking, because I've lost about 20 lbs in the past year - rather suddenly, and without real effort! I've been taking Wellbutrin (bupropion) for years, but can't remember exactly when I started the Naltrexone. Could be that the timing might have played a role. One thing I definitely DO notice is that when I don't take Nal on the occasional AF day, my appetite is often MUCH greater than usual. This really makes me wonder....

Hi Everyone!

All done with week 19, and it was a pleasant one. My craving level dropped back down again, and I also didn't drink TOO much. Wish I would have stopped sooner several times, but last night - I quit after 2 beers, even though there were 6 available. That's pretty unusual for me. But naturally, I polished off the remaining 4 tonight!

I'm leaving for vacation early tomorrow morning, so next week's numbers will be off the chart! Doesn't bother me at all. I just enjoy the moments where I see that my drinking habits are changing, regardless of the numbers. I will have little or no Internet access for the next 10 days, so that will be hard for me. Hope I can check in now and then - I would miss you all terribly otherwise!

I'll be thinking of you (and toasting you) while I'm gone. Be good (or NOT), and have fun. Cheers!

OMG, we're going to be minus KK and houtx for several days - how can you do that to us? Look, let's get better coordinated. . .

Really, have a great time. (I'll drink to that!)

I'm looking forward to getting my upw's down into the 40's. Still at somewhat of a stall, but cravings are down, and I had a couple of big trigger days last week. I didn't extinguish them, I drowned 'em!

Have a awesome vacation Kris!! Talk to ya after

I’m BACK!

I was on vacation for week 20, and had a great time! Naturally there was daily drinking, so my numbers are high, just as expected. My craving level was probably a little higher overall, but it was really variable. I typically didn’t start drinking until late afternoon, even though others had already started. Generally, I drank much more slowly than in my pre-TSM days, and this has been increasingly “the norm” for me for the past month or so – a definite sign of steady/permanent progress. I rarely drink quickly enough to really get drunk, and it’s weird being around friends who are blasted now. Kind of annoying even, but then I realize how ridiculous I was all those years without being able to see it. I still have spurts of sudden excessive drinking, but I attribute those to weird triggers I still need to extinguish.

Wow – a week or more without Internet access is TORTURE when I get home! The break was wonderful, but trying to get caught up here is almost impossible. I wanted so much to respond to posts as I read along, but time limitations get in the way. I really intend to welcome newcomers, offer encouragement to everyone, and chime in on the off topic stuff for fun. I’ll try to get to it, but I have a graduation party for my daughter next weekend (about 50 people – some from out of state, etc.) and I’m running out of time to get it all together. I’ll try to join in when I can, but please know I’m always “here” for everyone, even when I can’t really be here!

Hello Everyone!

It seems like forever since I’ve been here. I didn’t even have time to report last week, so I’m combining weeks 21 and 22 here. This also puts me at the 5th month mark. The numbers don’t look encouraging, but there are a lot of reasons to explain that – holidays, vacations, special family events, etc. These things are HUGE triggers, for me and many others.

I’ve been SO busy – a lot has happened in the last 2 weeks. First, I had the planning and preparation for my daughter’s graduation party last Saturday - a fairly large out of town event. The night before, I drank far more than I wanted to, simply out of stress. I was quite the psycho-bitch, but I think that would have happened even without alcohol. Still I was extremely hungover on the day of the party- something I certainly didn’t want to happen! Very disappointing, but I managed to recover in time, and the party was great. My drinking was very controlled on that day, and on the next (standard ‘party after the day of the party’). All went well until we returned home on Monday and had to immediately go to a YES concert. The music was awesome, but I drank WAY too much, and there was a strange situation between friends that caused some hard feelings. While I had no part in the yelling, my intoxication prevented me from reacting to things in a reasonable way, or even from enjoying much of the incredible music. Long story, but I was REALLY upset the next day.

It was like the beast had turned me back into my ‘old self’ – and after all this time with TSM, I was bewildered and frightened. Then, when trying to catch up on the posts here, someone from MWO was mentioned, who claimed to have done TSM for 6 months, and then it stopped working for him??? I just wanted to cry. The other thing is, after several days of pretty heavy drinking, my cravings were really intense - just like the old days. As if the beast were taunting me, “suggesting” that I stop and pick up a ½ pint when I had the chance, and sneak a few drinks. I was shocked, but managed to fight through it. Then last night, I thought – “Oh well, I might as well go with it and just buy some rum”. But, when I actually considered it, I realized that not only did I have no desire for liquor, but the thought of drinking any actually was repulsive. WHAT? In fact, the thought of liquor has turned me off for quite a while. Something behind the scenes MUST be working! Is this demon just messing with me, stirring up old habits that have no cravings attached?

I’m kind of confused, but I’d never give up on TSM. The strength of my cravings this past week are discouraging, but I’m convinced this is all still part of the process – even at this “late” point. For me, this is obviously going to take a LONG time, but it IS working. I’m positive my numbers will go down once summer is over, but overall this has been the best summer I can remember in terms of my drinking. My family isn’t disgusted with me, and I’m becoming closer than ever to my daughters. TSM is truly a gift.

Newcomers – PLEASE don’t be turned off to TSM just because you don’t see some numbers that steadily decline. It hasn’t been steady for me, but it’s changed my life for the better already. Sorry for the REALLY long post, but this is what I needed to say. You’re all lucky I’m not drinking right now, or it would be even worse!

So onward I go, but not necessarily upward or downward. For me, the saying that fits best is: Forward – never straight!

Hi Kris,

It's good to have you around again - I've missed you! You always maintain a very positive outlook, which is to be greatly admired.

Oh, and that Yes concert - I'm green with envy!

All the very best.

V.