Thought it time for an 80 day update. Everything is going wonderfully. My girlfriend, my addiction psychologist, my psychiatrist are all amazed at how effective this treatment has been. The psychologist and psychiatrist where new to me at the beginning of this TSM experiment in the effort of improving myself all around and having a support system. I’ll be checking in with my PCP next month for the first time and hope the progress will be well received as she is writing my Naltrexone prescription. Fortunately, I have a back-up script, too from the psychiatrist. I mention this 1) I believe many of us can relate to how difficult it is to educate the medical community on the subject and retaining their ongoing participation and support. 2) That some additional therapy can be beneficial.

As far as my consumption I have a drink two to three times in a week. And I pour small drinks. Sometimes I’ll have a scotch, other times beer, wine, mead…I don’t feel constrained with regard to what exactly I ingest. It’s not driven by compulsion or urges and rather more of a fanciful thought or a willful effort in order to increase the number of extinction episodes. I will say I’ve reached the point where I don’t find drinking on Naltrexone very satisfying and somewhat unattractive. Specifically, I don’t like how it feels in my body as it makes me a little restless. Socially, I think it has been empowering to participate normally in the ritual of cocktails. Further, I love the indifference I have to the presence of alcohol in the world and at home. It’s unheard of for me. My supply is building. I read someone recently saying they could now have a liquor cabinet for entertaining. I had to laugh as I could totally relate to that former challenge.

I have continued my distance from AA and unfortunately those acquaintances. We still talk some, but not sharing the same life encompassing practice and rather black and white view of sobriety our relationships have definitely suffered. Meanwhile, it has become clear to me how the program’s thought patterns, habitual vocabulary and general conceptual understanding of alcohol had in a sense brain washed me. It makes sense when you consider that I attended over 500 meetings in a fifteen-month period never mind my periodic visits of the halls over six years. Nevertheless, I have begun to look at this as an abnormality instead of disease. I am feeling uncomfortable with the weight of the word alcoholic and instead prefer AUD (alcohol use disorder). I look at some of my comments in threads of just a month ago and can’t relate to some of my own message. Basically, what I’m getting at is a new appreciation of how unique each person’s treatment and experience is.

Lastly, and somewhat anecdotal my mother has decided that having a prescription for Naltrexone would finally give her the control she has been looking for over alcohol. She is more of a binger. For example, she hadn’t had any alcohol for 13 months and treated herself to some peppermint schnapps right before Christmas. Naturally, and per the ‘alcohol deprivation effect’ she got really looped and embarrassed herself some on the phone. It’s definitely more of a scenario whereby the problem is what the endorphins/alcohol does to her as opposed to how much. In any event her doctor shares the same office with my own. He is fighting her on the prescription. He mailed her studies showing how ineffective Naltrexone is yet in the studies it was of course prescribed with abstinence. As I experienced with my physician just down the hall he has refused to read any of the book, “The Cure for Alcoholism” my mother gave him. It is maddening how unreceptive the medical community is to this scientific treatment. I find them arrogant. They assume that if this is noteworthy some higher medical being would have shared it with them instead of a patient. We’ll persevere, but it is awfully hard to treat this condition.

That’s what’s up! NAL on…

Excellent, excellent post, Bardo! Many thanks for sharing that with us!

Perhaps you could point them to the Selincro/Naltrexone TSM page that Joanna wrote on Patient.info or give them a copy of the NICE guidelines for prescribing Selincro. Cuz...well maybe they're hungover and don't have much of an attention span?

Well, we've got a couple of posts by vets that say the VA Hospital in is handing out Nal with instructions to take them an hour before drinking. Somehow U of Penn is involved, betcha Dr. Henry Kranzler has something to do with it.

Bardo - awesome job getting control over the AL! And thank you for the update.

Bardo, your progress is wonderful!! Good for you!! Thanks so much for letting us know. Newlife

Well, I am glad to hear the news, and (I admit) relieved that it is good. I didn't want to be encouraging you to drink, but I also felt I owed you the truth.

Some day in the future (I can tell from your writing style) you will judge yourself "cured" and will wonder if you still need those pills any longer. You will be tempted.

Resist, or else.

You are genetic. You will need them for the rest of your life. Accept it and have a great life!

I am so happy that this is working for you, Bardo. I could have written your posts, that's how like you I am! When I quit AA, they basically shunned me which was hurtful. I also was a horrible binge drinker, sometimes staying drunk for 2-3 days at a time.
But, now, after about 3-1/2 months I can say I have control over how much I drink and that is a miracle. In the past, when I started drinking, I never knew when I would stop. Now, I have control and don't even care to drink much.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, it helped me enormously!
Susie

Thanks, gang. I'm so glad for the forums, all of your journeys and the support.

Bardo -

I guess I'd never read through your whole thread before, but yours is a tremendous achievement! I offer my most sincere congratulations. Thank you for having the courage to dive into this with so many days of abstinence on the line, and the fact that you did so in the face of all your prior training (and with little help from the medical community) makes it that much more courageous. This is an excellent thread for people in the same position to read.

I had considerable doubt as to what to say to people that were starting TSM while having abstained for such a long time, but it seems to work even better than for those that start while binging. This is huge!

Again, congratulations and many thanks for sharing your journey.

Thanks, JSP. I really intended for this thread to not only help me, but to serve as a resource for those seeking freedom from AA. On the other board there was a member, Ajar who inspired me (his link is in the first few posts there in my thread). Unfortunately, he seems to have the same results, but has disappeared.

Also, it's great having you on the boards! You do a thorough job of assisting others and are to be commended. I'm sure you'll have the same success.

Bardo

I started TSM after a tear on the wagon (see my recent post in the Tell Us Your Story section).

It worked for me. BUT, I limited myself to drinking once a week, every week for 5 months, with Nal. I was terrified of the "drink as much as you feel like" approach. I figured that would a straight road back to rolling in my own bilge again. I'll warn you though, the first night, after the first two beers in a year, I felt a big urge to light it up initially. But the feeling passed fairly quickly and I was able to go home and sleep. The next morning, to my amazement, I did NOT have a craving for an eye-opener, which was my old pattern. It got easier every week until I eventually became indifferent to the beer, more or less.

I'm just one data point, however, and contrary to what AA says, we're all unique. What do I know?.... Dammit Jim, I'm not a doctor. I'm an engineer.