Yes - the dishes and laundry can wait a bit, the kids will remember the 'good stuff' in the long run, and the people who really love you will understand once they get to see you sober more often than drunk. Even some of the things we enjoy might have to take a back seat for a while, but it's worth it. What can possibly be more important than bringing the 'real you' back to life? I never knew how much I 'missed myself' until I saw it coming back in the mirror - slowly, blurry at first, but becoming clearer every time I really look. Sure, the wrinkles suck, but I see them as battle scars now - something to be proud of, because I'm still alive! You know what they say: "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". I had lost all hope of seeing any beauty in myself, and now I'm thinking - hey, I don't look half bad!

Kris, your posts are so heart warming and real. I'm glad you have the time to share your insights and experiences on the board. I can so identify with what you're saying about missing yourself. Me too. And I know a lot of my friends - many of whom have fallen away - miss the old me, too. But I had one call yesterday and ask if she could come spend the night, and we had a great time, just like the good old days. Rode horses, visited a neighbor who had a new foal, cooked up some food. I had hoped to go AF, but the cravings got to me mid-afternoon, so I did my naltrexone and had a couple glasses of wine a few hours b/4 she arrived. I've never seen her drink, but when I asked if she wanted a soda with dinner, she asked for a beer! So she had a beer and I had a glass of wine. Then we toddled up to bed.

I can't remember when I've had such a 'normal' GF day, and really did feel like my true self!

Hello Everyone,

Well, week (18) was rather disappointing, considering a a pretty big spike in both units and cravings. Bummer, but I'm trying to follow my own advice and not just look at the numbers. I came off a week of CRAZY drinking, but it was the big "summer solstice celebration" - a cultural thing with my husband's family and friends. Lots of drinking going on for even the 'normal folks', and the excitement of this annual event practiced for years - I think that explains the increased cravings.

I'm now convinced the heavy drinkers will have a longer (and perhaps bumpier) road to follow. If the test subjects weren't even at 40 units a week, it's like I'm a different species! It makes sense to me that so many years and different experiences with drinking will take more time to extinguish. However, I must admit that I've had doubts all along about the 50mg dosage working for everyone. While I've seen progress, I wonder if it would have been sooner or more pronounced at a higher dose? I'm usually not sensitive to meds at all, and it often takes 3 ibuprofen when I'm really in pain. Dr. Eskapa even stated that it's possible a higher dose might be required fo some, but there was ne evidence of that in the studies. As it is, I pop an additional 25mg after about 8 hours on days where the drinking will last at least 12 hours - (just my paranoia, I'm not suggesting anyone else should do this). I tried at the beginning of TSM to get my psych to prescribe more (he still doesn't know I'm doing TSM), but he refused after looking it up and confirming that 50mg was the standard effective amount. I had even found some evidence/article that indicated some might require more (100mg I think?), but I didn't keep that link ( ), and he didn't want to hear about it anyhow. I like the guy a lot, but it often doesn't go over well to challenge these 'highly educated' people, especially when we find stuff on-line to support our opinions.

Whatever - I'm pretty sure my psych would be hesitant to prescribe a higher dose even if he knew I was doing TSM, since I am getting some results. I finally got the nerve to tell my therapist I was doing TSM, but it was at the end of our last session, so we didn't get very far. She said she'd research it before my appointment next week. She's pretty open, and even understands the AA route isn't for me. So, we'll see. She promised not to share anything with my psych (part of the same facility/program), and might even suggest I tell him, or at least ask if he's heard of it, etc. - even if just to further/update his education. He doesn't seem to get judgemental when I admit I've still been drinking now and then.....who knows? I just don't want to jeopardize getting my Nal, especially when it's covered by insurance.

Wow - sorry this is so long! I've gotta get going anyhow, so the torture is over for you! CHEERS!

Again, your post/experience echoes mine. I'm really thinking that upping my Nal will be helpful. I wish we didn't have to be so very much on our own with medication information - but it is becoming obvious to me that MD's are often sorely out of touch.

Speaking of which, I was p*ssed today when I went online, just out of curiosity, to check on the proper administration of Levothyroxine (I have no thyroid, and so have supplemented for years). My Dr. never told me it needs to be taken on an empty stomach, at exactly the same time, preferably in the morning one half hour b/4 eating, or it is not effectively absorbed and metabolized! Helloooo???!!! Wouldn't you think that someone who had serious, serious thyroid issues for years and finally had the gland removed would be properly informed about how to take a drug that controls so many bodily functions? Poor or uneven absorption can cause bone loss, cardiac problems, high blood pressure, etc., etc. To say nothing of lack of energy. What is wrong with these people?

PPfffffftttt!

GFM, I am hypothyroid and have taken synthroid for over 20 years. The good doc never told me either. Found out on my own and was taking it with food all those years!!!!

IIt burns my a** to think of all the walking, swimming, aerobic exercising I've done over the years - much to NO avail b/c my Dr. couldn't take a minute to inform me about this one simple fact. I honestly wonder if I'd have had to have the gastric bypass if I'd taken the medication the way it needed to be administered! God knows I was doing everything else right!

Acchhh! I need a drink. . .

About the hypothyroid situation - my husband goes to a holistic doctor, who prescribes the NATURAL pig thyroid hormone called Armour. He always takes it on an empty stomach before jumping into the shower. There are many reports that Armour works much better than synthetic hormones, but same old thing - today's doctors think it's old fashioned/outdated, etc., so many 'regular' doctors refuse to prescribe it.

Check out this link if you're interested: https://www.drbrownstein.com/homePage.php

KRIS, WILL YOU PLEASE GET OUT OF MY HEAD?

I used to take this, in addition to a nominal synthetic thyroid hormone replacement. Then I went to a compounding pharmacist, and stopped taking that b/c it was too darn expensive once I had no insurance. So I just went back to the 'old' synthetic replacement stuff. Are you ready for this? Just today, I ordered the Armour natural hormone replacement via the internet!This is wierd. . .

Its a bit wierd don't you think that so many of u weemin are hypothyroid? I wasn't aware of the empty stomach thing either and ihave been taking it for 10 years- as it happens i take it (levathyroxine) on an empty stomach anyway as i have it beside the bed and take it first thing cos ive such a bad memory. I did discover a couple of years back however that taking calcium supplements within 4 hours interferes with its absorbtion- for the women 'D'un certain age' who may need to be careful about osteoporosis. Also Soya and soya products are what they call 'goitrogens' - ie they interfere with absorbtion of thyroxine.

G4M - this is TOO funny!

Gee, maybe now I'll get a job writing or something???? Let me know what my future holds, because I can't seem to figure it out...