Yay!!!!

Ocean & Newlife - so true, it's an amazing feeling! It really does feel like a way to enhance an evening or a meal, rather than my entire day (and life) revolving around the next drink.
I have to be honest though, even though I no longer have any desire or compulsion to get obliterated anymore, I'm finding that it's easy for me to spend the evening sipping away on drink after drink. Still a million times better than drinking myself stupid I suppose.

I'm in the same boat queenofcups. I do have to be mindful. The nal just makes that possible. Newlife

So recap for the week: 33drinks 1xAF

Not horribly worse than last week, and still half as much as I was drinking pre-TSM, but I think the honeymoon is over for me

The first half of the week was great, a few drinks a night, a dinner out where I actually had beer left in my glass at the end of the meal, and a nearly effortless AF day (I still can't believe I can have them at all - and unlike last week, this one was easy peasy).

The weekend was rough though, I definitely way overdid it Fri/Sat/Sun. I didn't really get drunk, and I felt pretty lucid the whole time, but I definitely drank more than I intended to. It actually felt like a mild version of drinking pre-TSM, like the chase was whispering in my ear again. It wasn't screaming like usual, but it was definitely there. Maybe this is part of the opiod upregulation thing, and I should up my dose again? Going to give 3/4ths of a pill a go this week I guess. As soon as I get used to the side effects I feel like I have to up my dose again! bah!

I think I will start making at least 1xAF day a week a regular thing. I'm not going to force it this week with the holidays, but on regular weeks for sure. I'd like to get used to regularly going to sleep without booze, and since the AF day was so easy I don't see any good reason not to.

You are doing really well! It is a slow process, however, you are experiencing what I went through - slow loss of desire for drinking regularly. It is important to consciously change some habits. For me, it was the habit of having a drink when I come home and start cooking. I also gave up the habit of opening a bottle of wine while I am alone at home. Now, I only drink socially. OK -sometimes, a little too much, but slowly that is changing, too.

Nal on!

Ugh thanksgiving, what a shitshow. Not a good week for me It was my own fault though, we started drinking early so I figured I'd split my dose in half. I took the first half in the early afternoon and everything was going well - the wine was flowing (holidays after all) but I was totally in control. Things were still fine by the time all of our guests were heading home, but this is when I should have taken the other half of my nal and I FORGOT ARGHH. So you can imagine how the rest of the night went, not good. I drank a lot, lost count. Barely remember going to bed. I'm pretty pissed at myself - I think I'll have to set an alarm or something next time to remind me to take a booster. Oh well, still (slightly) better than a pre-TSM holiday I guess.

The rest of the week was pretty boozy too, but I expected that with the holidays. I managed 2 AF days but it was really only because I had the worst hangover of my life after that thanksgiving nonsense. Nalovers are no joke. It was nice going to bed and not wanting anything to do with alcohol though - even my gnarliest pre-TSM hangovers didn't stop me from wanting a drink by bedtime.

So total for the week: ~38 2xAF

Felt like a horrible week but that's still a lot better than pre-TSM so I'm not going to beat myself up too much over it.

Fellow 30-year-old, former-70+/wk drinker here. It sounds like you are actually doing great.
I did this exact same thing yesterday. What a mistake. I drank through that first half dose after about 4 hours and after that all was lost.
As my psychiatrist says, a hangover is basically aversion therapy - it SHOULD teach your brain that alcohol is bad. For those of us susceptible to alcoholism, the lesson doesn't stick. The fact that you are reacting to heavy drinking days by then taking AF days is a hugely positive sign. I wish it was working like that for me already...but I know I'll want a beer later tonight, regardless of how awful I felt all day.
Awesome that you got the AF days in there. You've now cut your intake in half on average. You should be feeling great about this even if you have a few slip-ups here and there. They are almost inevitable. Stick with it, by next Thanksgiving you'll likely be counting yourself as one of the "cured" at this rate.

QoC

I would take Thanksgiving as what it was - a minor set back. SO do not beat your self up over having a bad day - or even a bad week. Just learn what you can from it. But I did want to suggest changing your strategy when you know you are going to be having a few to many over many hours. Instead of splitting your dose in half an hour before you start, take the normal dose and then do a half dose for a booster later. (And an alarm is a great idea because if you are already drinking heavy it is way to easy to forget that second dose)

I can not say scientifically it makes a difference - but I would think that the last thing you would want to do is reduce your NAL prior to drinking heavily. All in all you have had a fantastic start!

Thanks so much for your post Ives - it really helps to put things into perspective, and it's nice to know someone's in the same boat.
Pre TSM I would have been thrilled to think my drinking would be cut in half in only a month! It's funny how our perspective can change so quickly on the nal.

Thanks Reboot - TG was a learning experience I guess You're right I should have started with a full dose, doh. It was my first time hosting a big dinner on nal and I was worried it would throw me off since it makes me feel fuzzy (and it did, I didn't realize what a drunken cooking master I was ) I know better for next time though. But I'm going to a concert tomorrow and I'll probably need a booster so I already have my alarm set, not making that mistake again!!

Weekly recap: 38 1xAF

Bit of a boozy week, went to a concert and some dinners which pushed the numbers up a lot.
I drank quite a bit on the concert night, but I actually enjoyed myself, remembered the entire show, and didn't spend the whole time freaking out about where my next drink was coming from.

Normally I'd get absolutely blitzed before the show, then spend the entire time crawling out of my skin because I can feel myself sobering up (can't have drinks on the floor at this venue). I'd probably pack a few mini vodkas in my purse and take shots in the bathroom stall. I have many memories of chugging purse-booze on the toilet at this particular venue Then on the cab ride home I'd be entirely consumed with getting in the house and having a few more drinks to put me to bed.

So that felt like victory #1 for the week.

Crazy victory #2 - Mr Cups and I have decided to try for another baby. I know 100% I would not be on board for this if it weren't for the Nal. The idea of another 9 months of mandatory sobriety was absolutely panic-inducing for me before I started this - I'd literally have nightmares about getting positive pregnancy tests. Maybe I've lost my mind, but I'm actually excited this time, and suddenly the whole not drinking thing doesn't sound like such a sacrifice anymore. If someone told me that in less than 6 weeks on Naltrexone I'd be entertaining the idea of another baby I'd laugh in their face. This stuff is no joke.

I've definitely used this as an excuse to drink a bit more though, gotta enjoy myself while I still can (I know this is stupid reasoning )