congrats and welcome. I personally think you're ready for a full pill. if it sucks, go back to half. might make the honeymoon stick around for good! Nal on!

I had some awful side effects for about the first week, they went away after tapering to 1/4 than 1/2 pill. Headaches, sleepiness, irritability, etc. I then took the full pill for awhile with no side effects. I find, now that 1/2 a pill will do the trick. Don't give up for the side effects will go away! Just keep in mind that you are trying to cut down, your brain like mine might try anything to get high. It is discouraging, but seems to be common. I get no buzz at all, but still the habit is strong. I still get drunk but with no buzz, so I guess in time according to the book, the desire will stop.
I also stopped smoking with Chantix which is the same principle, it blocks the nicotine receptors and i haven't had a cigarette in more than 5 years!

Thanks guys - good to know that some of you are doing well at lower doses. I'm still feeling pretty lousy at 25mg, but this dose seems to be working for me so far so I don't see any reason to push up my dose right away. If I feel like I'm not making progress I'll probably bump up to 3/4ths of a tab. Congrats on quitting the cigs susie!

I wasn't planning on updating until the end of the week, but I've had a great few days and I can't help but share. Tuesday and Wednesday were 4-drink nights, which for me is pretty much unheard of. I have been feeling increasingly frustrated while drinking though, especially during the first drink, so I suspect this might be some sort of calm before the storm and I'll eventually start testing my limits. We'll see I guess.

Last night was.... drumroll please.... AF! I wish I could say it was because drinking sounded totally unappealing, but truthfully I've been feeling so awful from the nal I wanted to take a break and see how I felt with a day off. I also wish I could say it was totally effortless - it wasn't - I was a bit anxious, but it was more of a general anxiety (because it turns out I have no idea how to go to sleep without alcohol) instead of the usual foghorn going off in my head telling me to drink. So I was a little uncomfortable and it was hard to get to sleep, but it really wasn't hard not to have a drink, if that makes any sense.

At this point I don't have any intention of regularly incorporating AF days (too much pressure!) but the fact that I chose to have one at all tells me that nal is doing something. AF days aren't something that I do - I can probably count one one hand the number I've had in the last few years.

So I'm pretty pleased with the last few days. With the weekend here I plan to enjoy myself a little bit - I almost feel like I should try to drink more (yes I realize this is totally fucked up reasoning) or I'm setting myself up for failure because I won't be able to get my units this low again! Who knows maybe I'll surprise myself.

Congratulations on your alcohol free day! Soon the idea of drinking a little extra because you had low numbers or an alcohol free day won't even occur to you.

Dee

Hi Queen,

Just go with the flow as far as your drinking goes this weekend. Remember, "drink as you normally Would." So.... if you would normally drink more on the weekends, go ahead and do that! Mindfulness will come... but it doesn't need to be quite yet!

MinneMom

So I thought week one may have been my honeymoon, but nope, it's definitely week two.

Total drinks for the week: 29 and one AF night (!!!!)

I had a ton of excuses to drink more than usual this week too. Mr cups was working from home on monday and friday, and wednesday was veterans day. That's three days that I almost certainly would have started drinking in the early afternoon. Plus weekend brunches (which would have started with a bloody mary and then continued for the rest of the day). I even gave myself permission to go wild over the weekend, but I just don't enjoy feeling drunk on nal. I find myself ping-ponging between pleasantly buzzed and slightly tipsy, but anything beyond that starts to feel groggy and unpleasant.

So overall I have to say I'm pretty pleased (and a little bit shocked) about this week. I doubt these numbers are sustainable for me though - I fully expect my units to be significantly higher this week, especially since the side effects are finally starting to abate. I'm still ridiculously tired in the morning (even after 8 or 9 hours of sleep!) but at least my appetite is coming back and I can start cooking grown up dinners again (we have eaten a shameful amount of pizza and mac and cheese since I started this!!)

Not sure if I'm going to try for any AF days this week. I had zero intentions of even thinking about AF days when I started, but the fact that TSM has given my the ability to get one at all is kind of liberating. Before nal I was totally incapable of going AF (unless I was pregnant or had food poisoning basically). Even reading people's progress threads where they started getting AF days gave me anxiety! I couldn't relate at all.

We'll see I guess, I'm not going to try to force anything too hard. Mostly I'm still giddy over this shiny new feeling of control when I drink.

Good for you queenofcups, so glad to read of your progress!! Keep going!! REmember that MOST of us have ups and downs.

xoxo Newlife

Sounds like you are on the right track Queen! It is amazing how TSM allows us to actually make rational decisions now isn't it? I know exactly what you mean when you say ' I find myself ping-ponging between pleasantly buzzed and slightly tipsy, but anything beyond that starts to feel groggy and unpleasant.' It's just like that for me as well. Since I started TSM I've only ever been slightly tipsy on a few occasions. The power of TSM is that we can still drink and in fact can still enjoy drinking to some extent. I find that I enjoy drinking now more then I ever had in my life becasue while it still has a physical effect that is still pleasurable I can also control it while once it had me under it's claw.

Last night I had two drinks. One before dinner and one during. After dinner my wife and I watched some shows and I had basically forgot or didn't even think about getting another drink and when it did occur to me I thought well, it's late now I don't want to poor a glass of wine that I cannot finish. LOL LOL LOL

Yes I laugh out loud or more, I am absolutely giddy that I could even think that way... What? You don't want another drink? Just five months ago you would have walked to the kitchen poured a full glass of wine, drank it down in one shot and then filled it up again to make it look like it's a normal glass of wine. And now you have two drinks and don't want to poor another one because you are afraid you won't finish it? What is all this normal rational thought, this is a stranger to me... Insane. The only way I know how to deal with it at this point is to laugh like a child.

I think you are doing well. Don't worry about expectations or planning AF days. If they happen then that's great, if not then it's just one more step closer to your goals with TSM.

Wow Ocean and Queen..........that is all that I can say.

I am amazed at how my life and thinking is different now too. I still enjoy drinking, but just so much less of it. It enhances my life the way I always wanted it to, maybe the way it did back when I first started, instead of making me miserable. It is not an obsession anymore.

I am beginning to feel that I am in control, rather than the AL controlling me. That was my goal when I started. It has been a long road (for me) to get here, but so so worth it.

Nal on!! xoxo Newlife