way to go Minne and Maggie! you're both showing true signs of progress! keep it up.

Thanks Zontar - and look at your numbers continually coming down - go you !!!

Hugs, Maggie x

You are doing great, Minne!

MM

I know how you feel when you talk about being afraid you are going to binge. Big problem with me. But the more I get control over my day to day drinking the better I feel about taking on that monster. I know that a lot of my binges started with me being hungover from just an ordinary night of drinking and then having a hair of the dog drink in the morning. That would boost up the old AL in my body and away I would go for a day or two. No real reason other than drinking to excess for two days leads to drinking to more excess for three days. BUT if we are not hung over or drunk the first time maybe we wont binge. I guess I am rambling and I am not even drinking.

Anyways - your looking great!

I hate to sound like a stuck record - but I still do not really know what you are all talking about when you talk about a binge !

Hugs, Maggie x

Maggie,

A binge (for me) is when I've been drinking, I hit a certain "tipping point" where more is better! And more and more and more. It's as if sometimes I just don't have a "shut-off valve" when it comes to drinking and I will continue to do so until I basically pass out. It doesn't happen all the time (obviously)... in fact, it's the unpredicatable-ness of it that is so unsettling. Why on some nights can I have 4 drinks and stop and other nights I just feel the need to keep going??? And it's during those binges that I have the potential of behaving badly. I wish that I could explain it better.... it's just that sometimes when I drink, there is a compulsion to KEEP ON drinking.

For many others, when they binge, it means they go on a one, two, several day bender where they're not sober ever. That's not how I binge. Mine is typically just the one night (happens a handful of times a year). I usually feel so terrible, physically and if I have gotten into trouble, emotionally the next day, I couldn't imagine having more AL. But that's me.... I think the term "binge" can cover a variety of behaviors....

MinneMom

Well, I'm pretty deflated here.... Seven full weeks in and I haven't felt really any different on the nal or off it. I keep hoping that one day I'm going to be like, "heeeyyyy.... this feels like it's really working!" Not there yet. I have been able to muster an AF day each week for the past three weeks. Only 2 of them were legitimate, though... the third AF day was precipitated by a nasty hang (nal?) over where I couldn't even THINK of drinking. I'm just going to keep on keeping on...

MinneMom

Minniemom - 7 weeks is SO SUCH early days - really it is - look at me !! 7 weeks - you are yet a baby! Please do not get discouraged - just keep following the GR and things will happen ! And thanks for trying to explain the binge to me - I could not ever think of drinking the morning after - let alone drinking for 2-3 days straight - so I suppose I do not binge ! BUT having said that, the Nal will work whatever our drinking style is ....I just wish you would not get down about it - let it take it's time - you did not get to this place overnight - and it is not going to be fixed overnight - so sit back and enjoy (?) the ride ! Just know that every day is a day closer to getting sorted ! REALLY !!!

HUGS, Maggie xx

You are doing great. Keep it up and don't even think about losing hope this early in the process. The fact that you are having AF days is really awesome.

I personally identify with your experience of the only-one-night compulsive binges. I have only once or twice in my life drank morning, day, and night for more than 24 hours. More typically, I start drinking in the evening, and then as you describe, I feel like I just need more and more, and keep drinking until I pass out. (This is why I can't have liquor in my house anymore.) But then, some nights I feel like I can just sip on one beer per hour for 4-5 hours and then go to bed like a normal person...albeit using supplements/drugs to help me to get to sleep in place of using alcohol to dope myself into unconsciousness. I, too, wish I could figure out what is different on the 5-drink nights vs. the drink-til-I-pass-out nights. Unfortunately, the latter type of night is much more common for me, even now.

I get the feeling that this is where deeper psychological issues may come into play. I have always felt like drugs and alcohol have been an escape for me, a way to separate myself from the stressful day-to-day world and enter a different world where life is free of stress, anxiety, and negativity. A refuge. I find myself, toward the end of a day, looking forward to retreating to that refuge. TSM can help set us free from the craving to experience the rush and high of getting drunk, but the altered state of mind in and of itself is a tempting place to go to, even if it's not accompanied by a rush of happy brain chemicals.

MinneMom, I don't know if I have hit a crossroad but the last two days, I have had less then a full drink. I could have gone AF, maybe, but just that little added to my water was enough. The medication still makes me tired so I take advantage of it and go to bed as early as 8:30. Tuesday, Wednesday I drank more then new the usual. I know what I do, a friend calls and I like to have a drink when I talk with them. I need to stay off the phone. I have to think of something else when a friend calls in the evening. Maybe a Pepsi.
As you know, this is about my 3rd month, the 7th is when i sorta started. Also, I played with a quarter, to half to three quarters to a full and then back to a half and slowly up again. I am praying it is effecting my brain and my day will come.
7 weeks is so new into the program.