Mark,

I am so sorry about your loss. I do hope the funeral wasn't too emotional draining, but I know that drinking after services with the emotions would be a big trigger for me.

I hope you are doing okay, and I hope to see you post soon,

Jaba

take care Mark. we're thinking about you.

You will get there Minnemom. Just keep taking the pill. You WILL get there. Hugs from Newlife

Mark: hope all is well with you and that the funeral went ok. I hate funerals. Newlife

Quick update. Was on holiday last week with the half term so the drinking was a lot more excessive compared to when working. Some good plans like going to the gym and running put to one side. Think it's best I try and sort the drinking out firstly rather as I'm not really having any af days to then feel better about the gym. Only missed one tablet last week so I'm sure somewhere I'm working it out but the wife now thinks it's a bit of a fad or joke. Really want to see a drop off soon and to be honest I think I'm going to force the af day or days and see how I get on. Would like to not think about it and forget to drink but think it needs a lot more of a push from me and I think I've read that some people are or were the same in that you've got to push it. I also know I should do better at monitoring my drink and apologies for not putting weekly units on. Wondering whether to take 1 1/2 tablets as well to push it but actually should just give it more time but Xmas is around the corner and worried about drinking and driving I guess. The hangovers have been grim as well. Feel so much fresher when your heads clear of beer I don't get why I don't want to stop or drink less than I do.

Mark,

Thanks for checking in, for we were beginning to think you forgot about us.

When my intake went up my husband and I thought it wasn't going to work. He even said something to me about this process and he hardly ever said anything about my drinking (unless I was fighting with one of the kids about it). So, trust the process and be compliant as if your life depends upon it (for it kinda of does). Your drinking will decrease with time, and when it does your wife will come around and realize it is not a joke or a phase.

Maybe I missed understood by what you mean by missed one tablet...does that mean you drank without nal?

If so, it happens to the best of us! BUT, never let it happen again.

You are training your brain like a you would train a dog. If you allow the dog to defecate only outside, but one time he does it inside, you will have to watch him closely for the next couple of weeks to ensure that he gets it and it doesn't happen again. By drinking without the nal. now you are going to have to make sure it doesn't happen again, or you will have to retrain your brain all over. Look back on some of the old timers posts that have come back because they stopped taking nal, for they all say the golden rule is a must and always!

The hangovers are not fun, for I was just talking Hope through one yesterday. My theory is the nal. is revolting for the amount of alcohol you are drinking and causing havoc on your body and mind.

To get a better grip on your drinking, maybe try slowing down those first 3 beer or glasses. It took some practice for me, but once I started sipping instead of gulping I could actually noticed that my brain cared less about the booze. Try to make that first drink last 30-45 minutes (set a timer if you need to). Drink water in between sips, for you may find out that your brain cannot tell the difference (I thought it was a bunch of bull, but it worked). Wait 90 minutes for that first drink. I have been talking to JoAnna at the OSL forum and she suggest that sometimes the pill (for some) may need to 90 minutes to fully absorb.

Forcing an AF day to see where your desire is, isn't a bad thing; however, if you find you are white knuckling it too bad, just take the pill and strive for another day. I see no harm in trying from time to time, for how else will you know you are ready for one.

One thing I did do was play mind games with myself. My routine was between 5 to 6 pm take pill, eat dinner, drink, but I could not get an AF day in unless I had a nal-over (hangover only more intense). So I pushed back the time I took my pill and the time I would allow myself to drink. Until one night I took my pill at 8 pm and it was about 10 pm and I didn't have a drink yet...that was when I realize I could do an AF day for I didn't even want that drink. It does take time, and I was about 13-14 weeks in before that would happen.

I also forced my intake down, for I had a heck of a time with those nal. overs. I made sure I limited myself to no more than 3 glasses of wine in one setting. It was hard at first, but it helped me realize that I was drinking out of habit instead of craving or desire.

These are things that I found to help me along, so take them as suggestions. You my find other little tricks that will help you along for what works for me, may not work for you.

REMEMBER everyones progress is different, and the book simplifies how simple this process is, for I wish we all could have the outcome like Ocean did.

Glad that you are still naling along,

Jaba

P.S. Sorry its so long...a little chatty today

Thanks for the tips Jaba.
Yes I did unfortunately have a beer without Nal. I got caught when a friend popped round and shoved a can in my hand. I knew I should have said no but didn't. Since then I've been good. Working late tonight so I've got a pill with me. I'm planning to not buy any but I work in retail and there's a nice easy beer aisle to walk past. That's part of the problem in that it's so easy to buy and that in itself is a bad habit. I'm still hoping to not have a beer so I'll see if at 9 pm I'm going to buy any. But I shouldn't beat myself up though. As long as I have a pill I can then drink. But I'll try tonight not to. I agree with the drinking slowly as I have noticed sometimes it doesn't taste great at all. That's what I'm hoping will gradually take over. Fingers crossed.

Mark,

When I was trying to be sober I couldn't even go to the grocery store alone, for a bottle or two of wine would end up in my basket.

The great thing about TSM is there is no guilt, for after a while you will be walking out the door and almost be to your car and realize that you forgot the booze! It has happened to me a couple of times. When I was drinking, I would buy the booze and forget at least 10 other things that we needed...including the list that I wrote :/

I don't think forcing alcohol free days is necessarily the way to go, but I do think some mindfulness can help. Look at your habits. Can you change them up a bit? I have realized that a huge problem for me is not only the habit of having a drink at certain times, but of other people topping off my drink. I now make sure that only I fill my wine glass and just that one little thing has made a huge difference.

Not the best week this week. Been smashing the beers and then some wine. Wife isn't happy at all but I'm going to keep trying. Felt better at times when the beers don't seem to have an effect but then sometimes drink through. Going to have a few days off starting tonight.

Sorry mark 41. Hang in there!! Newlife