Lena,

Don't be so hard to yourself.

I wanted to believe it too. In any way those 2 months with low consume have for sure helped my body to recover a bit.
Now I will have a phase with more consume which will lead to the real final extinction !

I am happy to be on this board and all the great people here help me into this difficult situation, for which I am very thankful!

For this week I am done with alcohol. My stomach still hurts from yesterdays drinking. I think I am not used to these amounts anymore


summary

Week 1
........Mon, 20.04. pre-SM AF
........Tue, 21.04. pre-SM AF
........Wed, 22.04. pre-SM AF
........Thu, 23.04. 5.7 units (SM Start 25mg Nal)
........Fri, 24.04. 6 units
........Sat, 25.04. AF
........Sun, 26.04. 5 units

........Total units : 16.7 units
........AF days : 4

Week 2
........Mon, 27.04. 5 units
........Tue, 28.04. AF
........Wed, 29.04. 5 units
........Thu, 30.04. AF
........Fri, 01.05. AF
........Sat, 02.05. AF
........Sun, 03.05. 1.5 units

........Total units : 11.5 units
........AF days : 4

Week 3
........Mon, 04.05. AF
........Tue, 05.05. 1.5 units (switch to 50mg Nal)
........Wed, 06.05. AF
........Thu, 07.05. 1.5 units
........Fri, 08.05. 1 unit
........Sat, 09.05. AF
........Sun, 10.05. AF

........Total units : 4 units
........AF days : 4

Week 4
........Mon, 11.05. 1 unit
........Tue, 12.05. AF
........Wed, 13.05. AF
........Thu, 14.05. 3 units
........Fri, 15.05. AF
........Sat, 16.05. AF
........Sun, 17.05. 5 units

........Total units : 9 units
........AF days : 4

Week 5
........Mon, 18.05. AF
........Tue, 19.05. 1 unit
........Wed, 20.05. 4 units
........Thu, 21.05. AF
........Fri, 22.05. 4 units
........Sat, 23.05. AF
........Sun, 24.05. AF

........Total units : 9 units
........AF days : 4

Week 6
........Mon, 25.05. 5 units
........Tue, 26.05. AF
........Wed, 27.05. AF
........Thu, 28.05. AF
........Fri, 29.05. 4 units
........Sat, 30.05. AF
........Sun, 31.05. 4 units

........Total units : 13 units
........AF days : 4

Week 7
........Mon, 01.06. AF
........Tue, 02.06. 5 units
........Wed, 03.06. 4 units
........Thu, 04.06. AF
........Fri, 05.06. 3 units
........Sat, 06.06. AF
........Sun, 07.06. AF


........Total units : 12 units
........AF days : 4

Week 8
........Mon, 08.06. 4 units
........Tue, 09.06. AF
........Wed, 10.06. 4 units
........Thu, 11.06. AF
........Fri, 12.06. 5 units
........Sat, 13.06. AF
........Sun, 14.06. 5 units


........Total units : 19 units
........AF days : 3

Week 9
........Mon, 15.06. AF
........Tue, 16.06. 5 units
........Wed, 17.06. 4 units
........Thu, 18.06. AF
........Fri, 19.06. 6 units
........Sat, 20.06. 7 units
........Sun, 21.06. AF


........Total units : 22 units
........AF days : 3

You know what to do, a rocky ride but You'll be fine , go on ,go to and go through .
All courage to you .

monday 6 units

feel quite awake. don't feel as drunken.

Since I drank the last week more than the last weeks my craving has reduced.

More alcohol = less craving ... that is my feeling.

5 units today (Tuesday).

Feeling good. I know my unit figures look bad, but it feels better.
My pressure is down to zero. I just do as my body tells me to do.

It reminds me again that alcohol is an illness and that it is beyond my personal control.

Thanks, craving. I was feeling a bit down about my consumption numbers. I have to remember that I have been drinking to my heart's content with no conscious control. "I just do as my body tells me to do." I am not even attempting to control it because it is a disease and it is out of my control.

In view of that, the numbers are not that bad at all!

Bob

although my units have significantly increased I tend to forget one thing :

When I drink 6 units that equals one bottle of red wine. (have not drunk wine since many many weeks as I can't dose it correctly)

Before Nal I used to drink that bottle and then I continued with more and more. Probably ending most days with 10-11 units.

That is a reduction from pre-TSM of 30-50%. No matter how much the spike of previous units was. This shows clearly that it is working. And unless it is not going up to 11 units again I will not doubt the results

5 units today.

no AF day yet this week.
Just 5 units today. Maybe because I have nothing in my stomach. I drank 4 units within 10 minutes. So I do not want to drink more - as I do not know how severe my body will response to this.

As I am writing I get the buzz. Feels good.

And again there is this interesting question
Would anyone want to drink alcohol? I could be upstairs watching a nice movie, instead I am here downstairs writing into this thread and drinking, drinking, drinking.
It is like with smoking. Although you watch a movie you go outside and smoke, smoke, smoke ... but if you were not addicted would you smoke. The answer to both things is NO.

First it was hard to stop smoking - but after 1-2 months you realize how great it is without it.

Sometimes it's good not to sweat the small stuff, overthink or micro-analyze every day of every week. (Easy for me to say!!)

Craving - you seem to be doing incredibly well overall. Don't sweat it. Glad you are here & really doing so well.

summary

Week 1
........Mon, 20.04. pre-SM AF
........Tue, 21.04. pre-SM AF
........Wed, 22.04. pre-SM AF
........Thu, 23.04. 5.7 units (SM Start 25mg Nal)
........Fri, 24.04. 6 units
........Sat, 25.04. AF
........Sun, 26.04. 5 units

........Total units : 16.7 units
........AF days : 4

Week 2
........Mon, 27.04. 5 units
........Tue, 28.04. AF
........Wed, 29.04. 5 units
........Thu, 30.04. AF
........Fri, 01.05. AF
........Sat, 02.05. AF
........Sun, 03.05. 1.5 units

........Total units : 11.5 units
........AF days : 4

Week 3
........Mon, 04.05. AF
........Tue, 05.05. 1.5 units (switch to 50mg Nal)
........Wed, 06.05. AF
........Thu, 07.05. 1.5 units
........Fri, 08.05. 1 unit
........Sat, 09.05. AF
........Sun, 10.05. AF

........Total units : 4 units
........AF days : 4

Week 4
........Mon, 11.05. 1 unit
........Tue, 12.05. AF
........Wed, 13.05. AF
........Thu, 14.05. 3 units
........Fri, 15.05. AF
........Sat, 16.05. AF
........Sun, 17.05. 5 units

........Total units : 9 units
........AF days : 4

Week 5
........Mon, 18.05. AF
........Tue, 19.05. 1 unit
........Wed, 20.05. 4 units
........Thu, 21.05. AF
........Fri, 22.05. 4 units
........Sat, 23.05. AF
........Sun, 24.05. AF

........Total units : 9 units
........AF days : 4

Week 6
........Mon, 25.05. 5 units
........Tue, 26.05. AF
........Wed, 27.05. AF
........Thu, 28.05. AF
........Fri, 29.05. 4 units
........Sat, 30.05. AF
........Sun, 31.05. 4 units

........Total units : 13 units
........AF days : 4

Week 7
........Mon, 01.06. AF
........Tue, 02.06. 5 units
........Wed, 03.06. 4 units
........Thu, 04.06. AF
........Fri, 05.06. 3 units
........Sat, 06.06. AF
........Sun, 07.06. AF


........Total units : 12 units
........AF days : 4

Week 8
........Mon, 08.06. 4 units
........Tue, 09.06. AF
........Wed, 10.06. 4 units
........Thu, 11.06. AF
........Fri, 12.06. 5 units
........Sat, 13.06. AF
........Sun, 14.06. 5 units


........Total units : 19 units
........AF days : 3

Week 9
........Mon, 15.06. AF
........Tue, 16.06. 5 units
........Wed, 17.06. 4 units
........Thu, 18.06. AF
........Fri, 19.06. 6 units
........Sat, 20.06. 7 units
........Sun, 21.06. AF


........Total units : 22 units
........AF days : 3

Week 10
........Mon, 22.06. 6 units
........Tue, 23.06. 5 units
........Wed, 24.06. 5 units
........Thu, 25.06. AF
........Fri, 26.06. AF
........Sat, 27.06. AF
........Sun, 28.06. 5 units


........Total units : 21 units
........AF days : 3


I was able to keep my 3 AF days because of family ties.
Without family ties my AF days this week would have been very low.
3 consecutive days without alcohol is quite strong in my opinion.
I even had a 0% beer without touching the alcoholic drinks.
Probably I still have enough will power to force myself not to drink. (at least for a limited period of time!)


Usually I switch very often between AF and drinking days. So there is no longer sober period.
This time I noticed doubting myself, if whatever I do is even good enough for my personal standards. Oh I did this thing wrong, and I am such an idiot.
I was feeling like I did everything wrong. Probably alcohol has left me with a low self esteem, which I notice when being without it!

I have the strong believe that this higher units are the result of the extinguishing process.
Nal blocks the great effect of Alcohol that I have been used for so long. So the normal behavior is to take as much alcohol as required to get the feeling again. This means that the body tries to get this "kick" again that it used to have. But it simply does not happen, so it tells me, go on drink more, I want this again.
I think that after several months my body will say ... mhh ... more drinking did not help - I still want this kick, but I simply do not get it - lets "forget" about it (or at least put it into a more unused area of the brain)...