I had a really crap night last night. Drank quite a bit, didn't get a buzz at all, got quite depressed, thought what's the point in drinking if I can't get a buzz and ended up throwing my last glass of wine away (unheard of).
However, I thought that if I can't get a buzz from alcohol, what the hell am I going to do?
I then thought of carrying on nal and perhaps allowing myself some Ecstacy a few times a year, just to get that release and buzz (I'm an old raver!).

Then today. I woke up down as only had 4 hours sleep and probably a nalover.
However, I had tennis planned. Sooooo I played my friend for 2 hours in the park and by the end of it, MY WHOLE HEAD WAS BUZZING WITH PLEASURE!!!!! I loved it! Such good fun and such a beautiful autumn day

I then met another good friend for lunch in an outdoor cafe in the park, had a thoroughly lovely conversation. I actually listened intently to what he was saying! For me that's really unusual. We then had a great game of chess.
As I walked back to the car, I marvelled at the autumnal beauty.

I then passed my ex's on the way home. Thought I'd stop by. Said hello at the doorstep and we had a lovely hug then left. Without the usual turmoil going on in my head. It is what it is.

So, in summary, when I've had a day like today, who the hell needs booze to get a buzz?!?!

Happy to be alive this evening and no cravings so far.

That's really great to hear!

Finding other true rewards is crucial to the process.

Gobbly,

Those are the days to remember when you are feeling down and blue! Keep them in the front of your mind, waking with everyday thinking about it, for this is a rollercoaster ride we are on, and everything helps.

Keep up the good work,

Jaba

Gratitude for the good things...so important.

Danger. Warning flags.

Counseling recommended.

TSM works best for people who get to the point of thinking "If I can't stop drinking, what am I going to do?"

This goes to my tired old sop about who is ready for TSM, and who will stop taking their Nal when they realize: Nal+ Alcohol = No Buzz, which is immediately followed by the equation/realization: No buzz = No Life Worth Living.

No pill will solve that problem.

Yes Deena. You, too.

Absolutely Deena you're spot on

Gobbly it sounds like you're a good candidate, just follow the golden rule and keep putting one foot in front of the other. TSM takes time, and you're just getting started.

I would recommend cutting out the other stuff (ecstasy, coke, pot) and focus on the alcohol. From the sounds of it you understand that the alcohol is the underlying problem,

And keep up with the exercise. If there's one thing I have learned from a year of TSM, it's that drinking less with TSM and exercise synergistically work as an anti-depressant.



So, what the hell are you going to do? You're going to get used to it and unlearn the destructive behavior by adhering to TSM. It's really that simple, and it really is relatively painless as compared to your alternatives.

Gobbly this all sounds WONDERFUL to me. Keep going!! Newlife

I'd echo the keeping away from drugs. Yes it is difficult not having that escape, I miss it like hell, but I don't miss the problems that drinking brought me. Last time I used E I was hit by a horrible rebound depression, which showed me the real effect that drug has.

Continually seeking escape is only running away, it takes a brave person to say "stop I've had enough, I'm going to face this".

I've even cut right down on caffiene because I realised I was using that to alter my mood, the benefits in terms of feeling brighter and less energy ups and downs are worth it.

Thanks for all your advice and support.
I had one AL free day last Sunday.
I've since been taking the nal and drinking one bottle+ of red wine a night.
It seems to stop me binging and having more but makes hangovers more painful and I have been getting very depressed the last 2 days.

I've worked 12 hour days all week and resorted to very low doses of Valium (2mg) to get me through the work stress.

I just came home and broke down sobbing after my first 50mg dose last night. Not sure if that's related.
Would you suggest I now stick to 50mg or drop back down to 25?

Therapy is definately needed. I have my first session in 3 weeks.

I also bought a load of E earlier at the start of the week and it's just sat there. It doesn't seem like the best idea in hindsight!

If I feel better tomorrow after no booze today, then I know that more AL free days are the best option.
Also sure that tapering off baclofen isn't helping matters. Am down to 20mg.

What a mess!

Thanks for listening / reading

I had a rocky start to this programme however, I didn't think I was drinking less but the stats show different:

Week 1 - 66.5 UK units - 1 day AF
Week 2 - 49 - 2AF
Week 3 - 39.2 - 2AF

And no cocaine.

All of the above was on 25mg as I do find it can make me feel depressed the next day.
Tonight is my first night on 3/4 of a tablet.

The only day my units really spiked was one evening in week 3 when I drank after 35 mins not 60, and had had 5mg Valium beforehand as was super stressed. Apparently the val overrides the Nal. Lesson learnt.

I've also managed to get my GP to give me a repeat monthly script and start therapy next week.

Onwards!