reboot wrote:
Dee,
I am -or was - the same way as Ocean. If I even had a "wee-little sip" I would turn into a leprechaun of the worst sort! Sampling all the samples, buying a bottle or two, hit a bar or two on the way home, and end up home in bed with not a clue how or why it happened. Then I would get depressed about how foolish I was. Of course I would then say, "I will not drink today!." Only to find myself an hour or two later wondering where I put those bottles of wine I bought yesterday at the wine tasting.
It's amazing isn't it? I mean I think back to that which was only 5 months ago and have to, I don't know, I guess laugh about it. Three is something comical about it though it certainly isn't funny to anyone else at the time. When I read in Dr. Eskapa's book and Dr. Sinclair's work on how traditional abstinent programs fail because they don't address the real problem which is that the brain being the complex organ that it is sort of takes on a mind of it's own, pun intended, I thought of howthe brain is nothing more then a chemical biological computer that learns.. It goes deep into the whole philosophical realm of mind and body. It learns through training and what it actually does is create chemical and biological circuits that store memories, collects data through the senses and so on. And for us drinking became a part of that programming language. For us that one drink set off the chemistry that triggered the results. It was as Eskapa said not a sign of weakness, a loss of self control, a moral decay and so on. It was simply a chemical biological computer program running in the brain and it really felt like that too.
TSM is sort of like getting unplugged from The Matrix.
