For those of you who read my intro in that section, a massive thanks for your support

For those that didn't, a quick intro:

I have been a regular substance abuser (weed, uppers, downers) for 30 years but my primary addiction and poison of choice is booze. It's only when I drink that coke etc. seems like a 'good idea'.
I have the usual story of failed relationships (last one being 10 years), anxiety, self loathing after binges, loniliness etc. etc.
Surprisingly I've managed to do well in my career.
The party ended ~2 years ago when my drinking and coke using became a solitary, lonely prison.

My plan A was a 28 day residential rehab just over a year ago. It took me 2 years of denial seeing an addiction therapist on and off and the break up of a 10 year relationship to get me to finally admit defeat and that I have a serious problem.
I relapsed as soon as I came out.
I then did AA / CA and got some weeks of sober time here and there but the whole approach didn't sit well with me, made me feel more anxious and a failure and I was fighting cravings EVERY day. Prayer didn't take them away!

My plan B was Baclofen which I learnt about and researched in deapth 4 months ago. I was prescribed it by Prof Chick and got some success. 15 days AF. Relapse. 12 days AF. Relapse etc.
But at what cost???
The side effects at high does were horrific. I had a mini mental breakdown while working in the US last week and had to take a day off. I wasn't drinking, I know it was the Baclofen: Panic / terror /paranoia / anxiety. I knew I had to get off it for my own sanity. I figured drinking was better than what high dose baclofen did to me.
I am now tapering from 150mg and am currently on 40mg.
The cravings came back but I cannot continue putting that crap into my body. I plan to be off baclofen in the next 2 weeks.
I wanted Baclofen to work so much and read MyWayOut every day but the drug took the life out of me. I didn't recognise myself, I was a husk, couldn't remember what I'd done an hour ago... Was ready to give up on life. For ME, baclofen became hell

My plan C is TSM. I just don't have a Plan D so have run out of options....

I had my first 25mg of NAL last night and had a very fine bottle of red to go with it. As always I looked at the labels and went for 14%, the highest abv I could find.
To my amazement it took me 4hrs 20mins to finish the bottle with no craving for more and certainly no coke cravings.
To put it in perspective, the night before when on 50mg Baclofen and no NAL, I did 2 bottles of wine in 2.5hrs and had to knock myself out with 5mg Ambien (Zolipden) to stop the cravings and carrying on binging. I only did this because of work commitments.

That 'buzz' just wasn't there. However, I awoke at 5am after 3 hours sleep in a blind panic about work and had 2.5mg Ambien and 10mg Baclofen. I then didn't awake until 12.30pm?!?! I was working from home today. With the amount of work I'm currently doing, I figured I was entitled to not set the alarm but didn't expect to sleep that late!
Even though I drunk much more the day before, pre NAL, I felt much worse today post NAL. I have felt down, fuzzy headed and a bit 'fluey'.

I worked till 8pm tonight (major work stress at the moment), put off an arrangement to meet a mate for drinks as I didn't want to drink tonight. Ignored his blinkered view that it's just down to willpower when I tried to explain TSM.

So feeling quite low, I thought I would not drink tonight but the lady from C3, who's helping support me, suggested I actively take another 25mg and have 1 drink to try and get over the SEs and kick start extintion.
So I did. But not one drink!
Weird thing happened, instead of going to the shop and looking for the strongest wine, I bought a bottle of 11.7% white wine. 'Piss' I would have called it before!

Watched 'One Little Pill', cried at some points due to the empathy of the pain we / I have been through and soldiered through the bottle with some effort to finish it and also some nice relaxation effect but no 'buzz' per se and no desire to have more. That would never happen usually!

I actually had to battle to finish the bottle! Although my brain felt somewhat cheated that it didn't get it's euphoric reward and I felt that at 25mg, with no commitments tomorrow, I could have forced myself to get drunk and buy whiskey. But the temptation wasn't really there. Not least because I'm exhausted and have a 'first date' at lunch time tomorrow.

I'm slightly worried about the nalover tomorrow (if it's the same as today) as I have a few social engagements tomorrow, not least the 'date'..
I have also just taken 5mg Ambien and 10mg Baclofen so obviously I will be asleep soon. BUT, no coke cravings at all and I only finished the bottle out of force of habit. I know the Ambien is not a good idea but had to take it every night when on Baclofen or I wouldn't have slept. Have just had a long taper off a 10 year valium habit. The Baclofen really helped with finally getting off that.

Tomorrow I am meeting a female friend for drinks in the evening (she is fully supportive of me doing TSM) and I think I will pluck up the courage to do my first 50mg of NAL an hour beforehand.

This is very much a work in progress. I can see the benefits could be immense. But I also worry about feeling down the next day on NAL. However, my current experience is that it may be a walk in the park compared to high dose baclofen SEs.

I'll keep this thread updated.

Addiction and cravings have ruled most of my life. I hope and pray TSM will help me regain control and not be a slave to them any more

Thanks for reading (it's quite an essay!).
My love and best wishes to you all
I hope that with time on TSM, I may be able to help support others.

Peace my friends. You're my people. You understand me. I understand you.

Good luck on your journey. Be careful of side effects, build your dose up slowly.

Those who notice the buzz being gone tend to reach extinction quick.

Ok so my initial thoughts are that it will be great to stop me going on a binge or my drinking getting out of control. That's often been impossible before.

I am a little troubled by the side effects though:
- Feeling down and that I have lost my spark. It's been the same 2 days running after a night on NAL
- Blocked ear?! This happened yesterday and hasn't cleared. I've read that this is a documented SE! I've made an appt to get it syringed. Obviously this could be completely unrelated as this has happened to me a couple of times before in my life
- Stomach ache - not too bad
- Waking up in the middle of the night. Never usually happens when I take Ambien. Checked with Prof Chick and he said Ambien with NAL was ok (short term)

The above are after 2 nights at 25mg and a bottle of wine each night.

Questions:
1. Should I try and increase to 50mg tonight or stay on 25mg?
2. Do SEs generally ease as your body gets used to NAL? It's the feeling down / low that I'm most worried about (I should qualify that it's nowhere near as bad as after a binge!)
3. When is a good time to exercise? I.e. when will endorphons be able to release again. Is it the day after or the day after the day after, if I go AF.

Many thanks.

Update: Am gonna stop worrying so much!!
Seem to have snapped myself out of my general malaise.
Will try my first 50mg tonight and a few glasses of red with a friend. She knows what I'm doing so will be supportive about me not getting hammered and from what I've seen on 25mg, I won't want to get hammered on 50mg.
Then am playing tennis tomorrow for 2 hours. Another good reason not to drink too much tonight.
Game on!

Gobbly,

I think you should stay at the 25 mg (I am not a medical professional, just a drunk). If you are feeling that flat feeling, or feeling down and lost your spark, going to the full 50 mg may intensify that feeling. There have been a few people here that have complained about that feeling (Deena being one of them) and it does go away; however, with the other drugs you are on, maybe it is the combination of them with the nal. that is causing you to feel that effect. So, slowly increasing your dose, with lowering the other drugs may help you combat that feeling.

You can exercise any time, for I have not felt a difference between exercising on or off the nal...matter of fact, I feel better on the nal. than off, so maybe I am not the person to ask. There is a post on here about that theory, but I think it is mainly up to the person. Some feel great with the nal out of their system and exercising and some (like me) cannot feel the difference.

SE of a blocked ear...when they do trials on drugs they will report everything and anything that the test subjects experience, so if they had a cold/allergy symptoms with a blocked ear they will report it. But having it checked out is your best bet.

With only taking 25 mg your receptors will only be blocked for 1/2 of the time (12 hours in theory). 50 mg is to last 24 hours, 100 mg is to last 48 hours etc. If you are going to be drinking longer than 12 hours at a time I would take a boaster dose of 1/4 or 1/2 to insure that you are covered. With that being said if you are on 1/2 of pill you could plan your exercise 12 hours after you have taken it to see if you feel better.

I hope that you are able to continue with the side effects, for it may get worse before it gets better. The side effect will go away, but you have to be consistent in following that golden rule each and every time, for if you drink skip taking the nal. a day or two, or delay in taking nal, you will have to start all over and you will be confusing your brain.

I wish you luck, and I will be looking for an update,

Jaba

Thank you Jaba

Another question, I've just been out for a sober lunch, come home and the craving to drink has hit me quite hard.
I'm not supposed to be drinking until 8pm tonight when I go out.
Should I stay in and fight the cravings or take 25mg (have just eaten) and buy some wine?

Don't worry, I have promised to myself that I will continue and take nal every time I drink at least an hour before I imbibe.

Go with you desire no sense in fighting it. maker sure you drink slowly and pace yourself for you don't want a nal over

Gobbly,

If you find you are going to be drinking later tonight, you may want to take a 1/4 of a pill 1 hour before you go out. I do not know how long your drinking sessions last, but it is better to be cautious than careless.

I really don't want to drink today and plan to go AF as don't feel too good.
Do I need to take nal and have at least one drink a day for extintion to work or is it ok to have a break?
Thanks.

Gobbly,

If you feel like crap, it is okay to take a break from the nal and alcohol. Call it an AF (alcohol free) day.
If you find that craving or desire too strong to handle just take the pill and wait that hour, no harm no foul.

You may have a nal. over. I would have an af day after one of those; actually in the beginning I could only have an af day because of nal. overs, for doing them before I was ready was white knuckling it.

I hope you feel better,

Jaba