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 Post subject: On the other side
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2015 10:58 am 
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Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 6:52 am
Posts: 1003
Location: England
Last night I had a couple of hours of observing the other side of a Saturday night.

On the way back from meeting Maggie, which was ace by the way, I knew the last train back meant some passengers would have been out drinking. I've used these trains previously and especially the last section of the journey seems to provide transport for groups who've been out drinking in various towns and cities along the way.

There were some mildy amusingly drunk people on the back of the bus which replaced the train on part of the journey, they were loud and a bit 'know all'.

The final train however contained a lot of drinkers, some of who were drinking, some who were already very drunk.

I used to go out regularly on a Friday or Saturday night, here in the UK it's the night of action, the night to see and meet people. Often there'll be a big build up through the week and on the day, planning what to wear, getting ready, wondering who you'll meet, which bars you'll go to.

I witnessed a group of women probably in their 20s, heavily made up, tiny dresses on (yes I have and do wear things like that but always have a big coat, and a pair of tights on, gloves and cardigan once the weather gets cold), no coat being extremely loud, pestering and making fun of a man who wasn't part of their group. They were filming the carriage, playing music on their phones, and cackling like a coven of witches.

Then a man who I recognised from the gym I train at walked through the carriage, this man is a trained professional, and I've only ever seen him during the week either training, or out carry out his profession.

As soon as I saw his face I knew he'd been drinking. Paleish skin, reddish eyes, slightly puffy and in high spirits. When he got off the train he slammed his fists (he's a big sportsman) on the carriage windows.

What scared me was that when I was out drinking thinking I was beautiful, I must have looked and behaved like this (avec coat if I'd not lost it!).

Then I thought, thousands possibly millions of humans do this every weekend and think it's cool. Drinking a poison which makes you look and feel rough, not to mention removes fears that then results in dangerous risk taking behaviour. Some of the drinkers were quiet, a few had cans in a bag. Another man walked through asking the women if they had any alcohol, he was looking for more drinks.

Bonkers!

We did have a giggle at the women, they were very clompy in their big heels, one had a dress with a scoop neck which dipped to the navel, skirt across the very top of the thigh. Oh the glamour, she could wear that dress.

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Naltrexone Started 20th April 2011

Cravings eliminated Sept 2011
Now fully in control, alcohol no longer bothers me. Chose to go AF from 22nd July 2013.
TSM set me free


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 Post subject: Re: On the other side
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2015 7:07 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2015 12:54 pm
Posts: 1204
Ha UKB!! What a picture you have painted!!

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Newlife
started 3/3/15
Pre-TSM 26 - 30 US Units/week

Month 1 16/wk av 4AF month
2 17/wk av 5 AF
3 18/wk av 6 AF
4 NT
5 NT
6 NT
7 17/wk av 4 AF
8 17/wk av 5 AF
9 13/wk av 5 AF
10 & 11 NT
Beginning tracking again Week 48
Wk 48 18/2 49 14.5/2


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 Post subject: Re: On the other side
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2015 9:34 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2015 12:22 pm
Posts: 336
When I get a chance to visit the UK I will have to find out what train to take to watch the "show"!

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Start 6/24/15
Pre 10-14 drinks day/70-100 wk
month/avg unit week/af total
1/118/1
2/81/7
3/55/6
4/37/14
5/44/5
6/24/8
7/40/12
8/19/13af
9/27/13af
10/34/8
Month 11 - did not count
Month 12 counted last week -34/3af


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 Post subject: Re: On the other side
PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2015 2:16 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2015 9:35 pm
Posts: 1426
UKBlonde,

I hate to say it, but I was one of those girls back in the day...okay, way back in the day...and thinking that it was fun and cool to be so drunk...if only I knew back then what I know now!

Well, at least they were young, for I think it would have been a really good show if it was a bunch of 50 year olds ;) (of course not the type of show you would want to see).

Jaba


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 Post subject: Re: On the other side
PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2015 5:21 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 11, 2015 9:38 am
Posts: 17
I can relate to this experience in my own way. I often thought I was full of ageless wisdom and great ideas when I was drunk sitting alone at the bar. If only people knew how great I was! The ideas I had never came to fruition and the wisdom I thought I could give others I could never even give myself. I retreat fully into my head while drunk and I think it is the best place in the universe. I know now that is the last place I want to be. These days I want to be outside. A part of life and the world. I want to try and fail at things so that I actually learn something and not have all this theoretical knowledge and abstract ideas that I never put to use. I miss the old days less and less as time goes by. Thanks for sharing this.


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 Post subject: Re: On the other side
PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2015 1:08 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 28, 2015 1:37 pm
Posts: 353
Ha! Yes UKB does indeed paint a picture well. I remember even back when I was drinking heavily and managed to get sober and go to bars or parties I'd make the same observations and then of course just end up right back at it again. I don't miss that at all. I would probably have been the more reserved drunk on the train. I never was the loud and obnoxious type even when drunk. More then likely I'd have been thinking about getting my next drink and patiently waiting it out.

But still. I don't necessarily hate alcohol for what it did to me because in fact it was me that did what it did to me but I actually did get a lot out of alcohol in my early days. I was always shy but creative and when I drank it aloud me to overcome those obstacles and be ably to do what was necessary to either write or perform. I'd often times use weed to be creative as well and that would make me terribly introverted but in combination with the right amount of alcohol I've written many songs and I had some of my best stage performances playing guitar on that combination. Of course as the addiction worsens so does everything else.

But like all things I think anything that is good ultimately takes away. That's why we are sometimes happy and sometimes sad. You simply cannot exist with only one or the other. Full on happiness is going to take something out of you in a bad way. And that's what alcohol was. A big fake trade off for my awkwardness but passion for creativity.

First it givith and then it takith away.

The trade off is no longer worth it. In fact there really is no trade off. Now if I drink again like I used to there is no creativity, only despair, and I am very well aware of that fact.

But yeah, maybe it's good therapy to go out on nights just as an observer to see what it's really like to be out drunk in public pretending to have a good time :D


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 Post subject: Re: On the other side
PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2015 8:15 am 
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2015 7:53 pm
Posts: 446
A friend of mine stopped drinking when she saw video of herself at her daughter's graduation party. She sobbed and sobbed as we watched the video together. The funny thing is that she thought it was pretty much a one time thing, but from my perspective it was the way she looked/acted at every party. Maybe seeing ourselves through other's eyes would help us all. I look at photos of myself during holiday celebrations in my home and I am almost always red faced and buzzed. :oops:

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Weeks 1, 2 - 15, 50 AF/0
Weeks 3-11 not tracking AF/0
Weeks 12-27 average 18-21
Week 28-42 not tracking


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 Post subject: Re: On the other side
PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2015 4:50 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2015 3:58 pm
Posts: 208
Location: Minnesota
Love the visual imagery UKB...

The gaggle of girls reminds, especially the one in the dress cut down to her navel, reminds me of the Oscar Wilde quote, "Youth is wasted on the young."

Keep on keeping on!

_________________
Started TSM 9/25/15
pre TSM 25-30ish/week and rare AF - standard US drinks

MONTH 1: 25 wk/ .5 AF avg
MONTH 2: 20 wk/ 1 AF avg
MONTH 3: 21.5 wk/ .75 AF avg
Week 13: 21.5/0 AF
Week 14: 25/0 AF
Day 1: 1.5
Day 2: 4
Day 3: .5


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 Post subject: Re: On the other side
PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2015 8:06 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2015 7:15 pm
Posts: 529
Location: usa
yeah, now that my drinking is under control going to bars and parties is more fascinating. I REALLY see it from the other side! so much of it seems so stupid and such a waste of time. I thought AL being less present in my life would cause me to miss something, but it hasn't at all. glad I don't have any videos of how charming and cool I thought I was!

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Pre-TSM 30-50 drinks per week (US drinks, not units!)
started 4/16/15
months 1-6: avg 17/ 1 AF/wk
months 7-12: avg 13/2 AF/wk
months 13-18: avg 11/3 AF/wk


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 Post subject: Re: On the other side
PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:34 am 
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Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2015 3:58 pm
Posts: 208
Location: Minnesota
zontar wrote:
glad I don't have any videos of how charming and cool I thought I was!


For sure!!!!!! (for me, not you Zontar....)

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Started TSM 9/25/15
pre TSM 25-30ish/week and rare AF - standard US drinks

MONTH 1: 25 wk/ .5 AF avg
MONTH 2: 20 wk/ 1 AF avg
MONTH 3: 21.5 wk/ .75 AF avg
Week 13: 21.5/0 AF
Week 14: 25/0 AF
Day 1: 1.5
Day 2: 4
Day 3: .5


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