Ives wrote:
Watching football...one of my favorite activities, and unfortunately one of my biggest triggers. Lost count last night. It is amazing how at the time, standing in front of the fridge, chugging wine from an enormous bottle, already too drunk to speak clearly or remember what I just said five minutes ago, the thought of "oh man, I'm going to be really hung over from this tomorrow" never enters my mind even once. It's not even that I realize it's going to hurt me tomorrow, and I do it anyway, but the thought literally doesn't cross my mind. At a certain BAC level, more alcohol = good, no further thought required. Just judging from my hangover today, I would guess I had 10. Came into work late and felt shitty all day. So ready for this to stop happening.
9/30 was the first day where I took 100 mg according to proper TSM protocol, and I have been been strictly following the 1-hour rule since then. I am counting 9/23 through 9/29 as "week 0" as I was not following TSM correctly prior to 9/30, although I was taking 75 to 100 mg of naltrexone each day during that time. I think that probably the reason I have had such poor success with TSM in the past is that I haven't been following the "golden rule" strictly. Now, at the higher dose, I am committing to actually practicing TSM correctly from here on out. No cheating, no washing the pills down with the first drink of the day, no breaking up the dose throughout the day.
I got home from work about two hours ago, and found that I only had four beers left in the fridge, there is no wine left (thankfully), and of course no liquor. I am now drinking beer #2 and wondering whether a walk to the store to pick up more beer will happen in a couple of hours. The memory of today's hangover is still fresh in my mind, but at the same time, the knowledge that I can usually have 6 or 7 without a significant hangover is also always lingering in there, too.
Week 0 (09/23-09/29): 60 (8.3/day)
Week 1 (09/30-10/06): 6, 8, 9, 8, 7, 10 (8.0/day) - in progress
Sorry if I've missed something, if you weren't complying why don't you try 50mg with compliance?Or is it only at the higher dose that you are able to comply?
Part of TSM is also having some time at some point without nal and without alcohol in your body, this then reinforces drinking less often and provides an unconscious incentive to moderate.
Whilst it's great you are now taking it 1 hour prior I'm concerned that you aren't able to be mindful regards drinking and I hope that you do develop a sense of when you've had enough.