Nigelr - You are absolutely right and I finally deleted my pre-nal numbers from my signature because I think they were total BS and just me kidding myself. Even now I find myself tempted to "underreport"; oh it was only two glasses of wine, but the glass was HUGE and when I look I see there is only one glass left in the bottle, which of course we all know holds 5; so no, it was not 2 glasses at all it was 4!! Then I get pissed that I have to write down 4 glasses when it seemed to me like a very light night. I am a small person but I actually have a pretty high tolerance, wish I didn't. I think my pre nal numbers were easily twice as much as I am drinking now. So that says a lot.
But yes, I still enjoy it, I agree. In a way I am glad about that because I want to enjoy it, I just want to enjoy it the way that a "normal" person who does not overdrink enjoys it. I don't know if that makes any sense but if I recall correctly you work in or own a vineyard, so I think you understand what I am saying. I really don't want to give up alcohol, I just want to be in safe and healthy limits and not focus on it so darn much of the time. I am starting to believe that might actually really be possible for me, although for sure it has taken way longer than I had hoped. And it is going to take some further work on myself and CHANGING, which I now realize is actually VERY DIFFICULT to do. At least for me. Let's face it, many of us are here because AL had become our security blanket, our Teddy Bear, for many very complicated and varied reasons. Nobody likes to give up the blankie or the Teddy Bear.
I smiled at "last one for no reason whatsoever"; I like to give parties and give quite a few, big and small, and until recently I ALWAYS would continue to drink while I was cleaning up after everyone had gone. And not just a little bit either. This goes back almost twenty years to when my friend Harry and I were cleaning up after a huge party and found an unopened bottle of champagne in the cooler. We looked at each other, popped the cork and immediately drank the whole thing. That seemed illicit as well as a great deal of fun. The problem is that I think I was 26 then, but it started a pattern that I was still following 28 years later!! Now I sometimes still feel the urge to do that but like a rational person I seem to have begun, anyway, to realize that the price paid for that just is not worth it!!
Glad you are still here, nigel, even if mostly lurking and still on TSM, I remember in some of your earlier posts you sounded discouraged.
Maggie - yes you and I are going to hang in there!! No matter what!!
Nal on!! xoxo Newlife
_________________ Newlife started 3/3/15 Pre-TSM 26 - 30 US Units/week
Month 1 16/wk av 4AF month 2 17/wk av 5 AF 3 18/wk av 6 AF 4 NT 5 NT 6 NT 7 17/wk av 4 AF 8 17/wk av 5 AF 9 13/wk av 5 AF 10 & 11 NT Beginning tracking again Week 48 Wk 48 18/2 49 14.5/2
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