I am stuck in a holding pattern for a few weeks until my Nal arrives from River. In the meantime, I just have to keep my fingers crossed that I don't fall into one of my crazy, black-out violent binges.... I'm so scared that even during this process that is going to happen again and I'm powerless as to when it happens...

That said, I am trying to remain engaged and focused on my ultimate goal and also trying to make the most of the amazing information and support you all supply here as a means to stay motivated until I can start TSM!

One question I have is what everyone's ultimate goal is? Complete abstinence? Reducing consumption to non- harmful levels? Or maybe like me... I just want to STOP the recurring, though not necessarily often and definitely not predictable binges.... some of which (also unpredictable) end up in uncontrollable rage toward my husband. I feel that if I can eliminate those instances of bingeing, and can keep my every day consumption to 1-2 drinks, I will be happy. What are everyone else's ultimate goals?

MinneMom

That is a great question MinneMom. When I started I did NOT want to ultimately be abstinent. I think I would have said the ideal would be to be like my ideal normal drinker,and be able to have a nightly glass of wine or cocktail and not want more, and maybe on a big occasion a little more.

One problem with nightly drinking on TSM, though, is that doing it would involve taking nal daily, and most people don't want to do that. I have slowly come to wrap my mind around the fact that, I will never be the normal person who can just have one cocktail, because it will always involve taking nal first. Forever. That is hard to accept but I am finally ok with it.

Now I just tell myself that I want to be "in control": I don't want to end up drinking more than I meant to, having hang overs, generally being out of control. And now that the nal has allowed me to go AF occasionally (still hard for me, but a LOT easier than before), I also see how GOOD it feels to have a day or two with no nal and no AL in your body. The book says that you then get an endorphin rush: I haven't experienced that myself but I want to.

I think my goal now would be perhaps more of a weekly one: it would be lovely to average 10 or less drinks a week, and on TSM ideally that would be, rather than a daily one or two drinks, 3 or so AF days a week and then between 1 and 3 drinks on the days when I CHOOSE to have a drink. I am a 120 lb woman, small boned, so the amount of AL that is good for me would be different if I were, say, a 200 lb. man.

You will also see that other posters say that, over time, drinking just became less important to them and so all of a sudden they just found themselves not doing it. Wouldn't that be nice?

I will be interested in what others say. Hugs from Newlife

Like Newlife, my ultimate goal is to be a normal drinker - whatever that might be ! I do not want to come home from work and automatically pour a Guinness - and then have another and another. I want to be able to come home from work and NOT pour one. OR if I do, have ONE and be satisfied! To maybe have a drink at Christmas - or if I am out with friends for a meal - that is where I would love to be able to end up! Or, if I end up being AF (alcohol free), as UKB is - she chose it after being on Nal for some time - if that is what I would like to do, then so be it.

Hugs, Maggie

My Goal is to shut up that screaming booze brain. I don't really care for the taste of al. and I had been drinking for the buzz which turned into a habit for sleep (drinking until you go to sleep is passing out). If I could have a glass a wine once in a blue moon without it turning into a marathon session (which I am almost there) I would be a happy camper! I have cut down my intake, and my desire isn't as strong, but I feel I should be drinking occasionally not a couple days a week.

But my true goal is to shut up that screaming booze brain so I have complete control, not it!

Jaba

My initial goal was to be a normal drinker and not have that compulsion to start drinking as soon as a certain hour hit. I want to be able to have a couple of drinks and not have my mind scream "more, more!". The nal has left me with a flat feeling and I don't seem to enjoy life as I used to, and not because I am missing the alcohol. I feel mildly depressed since starting it. So, I guess my goal has changed to wanting to drink rarely so I rarely have to take the nal and can feel more like myself again. I don't think it is good to force alcohol free days, though, so I am just biding my time.

my goal is to have control - to be free of the compulsion to drink, & the compulsion to keep drinking once I've started

I think a lot of people come to TSM with the goal of being able to drink "normally", & somewhere implicit in that is the belief that by not drinking they would be "missing out" - I certainly did

however, as time goes by & TSM works its magic, I wouldn't be at all disappointed if I end up abstinent. if the desire to drink is truly removed then I think the feeling of missing out by not drinking will be removed too. ie - I won't care about not drinking because I won't care about drinking, if you see what I mean

-badger

I feel the same way. I have been taking notice of how much of my social life revolves around going out for dinner, going out for drinks, having people over to have a drink by the pool and thought that being abstinent would be too difficult. I realized recently that there are people who attend the same functions and don't drink because drinking doesn't "appeal" to them. They don't feel like they are missing out. If that happens to me, that would be great. I just don't want to be ruled by alcohol.

my goal is to simply not give a $hit about AL so much. the Nal has helped me a lot in this regard. when I started, I had NO illusions about being AL-free, but it's actually conceivable now. or at least now I understand my life would be no less rich and fun if it was. I never would have bought into that before. it's really weird to have one drink at an event and be done. doesn't happen all the time, but when it does it really isn't that hard for me now....

When I started my goal was to save my life, and stop all the problems alcohol was causing for me. I had tried almost everything to stop drinking and I got to the point where I'd try anything even drinking with nal (I genuinely did not want to drink).

The initial goal was to get away from drinking problematically.

Ultimately, that has become,

Never drinking alone

Never getting drunk.

Knowing a good meal can be accompanied by a good beverage of some sort.

Never drinking to escape reality, or due to boredom etc.

That translates into usually less than 20 drinks a month, and for me, beats abstinence.

It does not mean

Drinking daily. Drinking a lot because everybody else is. Obsessing about or craving drinking.