Welp. another week down and pretty much the same thing. Averaging 2-3 drinks a night. I'm pretty happy with that. My goal was never to stop drinking, well really I didn't have a goal. I first wanted to see if TSM was snake oil or not before I even think of goals. I do remember before I started liking the idea that the goal for TSM was to be able to stop drinking all together or to be able to drink normally. In my case I was able to drink normally 3 days after I started TSM. I have since had one alcohol free week which came quite easy really and have settled in to an average 2-3 per night. I've not had a hangover or any withdrawal symptoms for over 3 months. That's a first in probably 20 years.

The other night I was in my workshop getting some things done when my wife walked in holding an empty bottle of Wild Turkey whiskey. That was always one of my favorites to hide in the garage or in the ceiling tiles. I know that look on her face. I'd been busted and confronted with this several times in the past. I gave up the excuses a long time ago. You know like hmmm must have been left there by the old home owners, Oh I misplaced that bottle a long time ago, remember that party we had I think my buddy Will must have left that there, those damn kids in the neighborhood... all that. No it just got to a point where I'd just admit it with egg on my face yup that's one of the ones I hid.

But anyway this time I had to laugh a little. I've not hidden a bottle since I started TSM. I'm sure there are quite a few more in the wood work so to speak. Some might even be half full!

My mom and dad are visiting this weekend. My fater is pretty hard core. He switched from beer to wine a long time ago you know because beer puts on weight. Of course wine packs a much better buzz and truth is as we all know more alcohol more calories. But that's the excuses we all use. Normally when he visits we would drink the night away. I'm sure I will tonight as well but since TSM has completely squashed my desire to chase the buzz I'm totally confident I'll be fine.

I'm even thinking about bringing up the topic to my old man. But I'm not sure. I'll have to play this one by ear. I would love to see him start TSM but I know he's deep in denial. But who knows. Only one way to find out I suppose.

I am so happy that things continue to progress so well for you. Regarding your dad, he will notice the change in you. If you share the information, what he does with it is up to him. He may not research it now, but it may stay in the back of his mind for later.

Thanks for staying connected as we all make this journey.

Ocean, I will be interested to see your father's reaction if you do decide to discuss with him. Unless someone is really willing to read and research it is hard to see how they could really grasp TSM.

Funny about the hidden bottles! My drinking never got that out of hand, but I can relate to trying to hide my wine glass in the kitchen when I started a little to early or was drinking too much. We don't really fool many people though, I would guess. It's nice not to have to hide.

What I like best is just being sober: really LIVING my life, remembering conversations, being present instead of being constantly buzzed. Sometimes it is harder, as I have to confront things head on instead of hiding in AL, but it is just a lot more REAL. And life is short. I want to be here to enjoy the rest of mine.

Happy to hear that you are where you want to be!! Newlife

Ocean,

It sounds like you and your dad are really good drinking buddies. I do wish you luck to night, for I think it is going to be a different experience for you and him. I do hope he listens with an open heart and mind about TSM. I am sure your dad might admit he has trouble limiting himself if you bring it up, for if I tell someone candidly about my drinking habits it opens them up to talk about theirs. I think talking to him about your success (which is awesome by the way) and showing him that you still can drink but controlled might help. Also, you might want to tell him that weight loss is so much easier without the al. (I don't know about you but I have lost 20 pounds), for sometimes vanity rules.

I find it funny that you had a hidden stashes all over the house and garage and you are still finding them. It scares me for my son knows where mine is, and I haven't gotten up the nerve to tell him what I have been doing yet (so I am still hiding it). I guess I need to buy the book and set it out for him to read, but I am pretty sure he has AA drilled into his mind and will not be open to the idea.

I had no idea that you drank enough to have withdrawals...this process really is amazing! I would have never had thought you drank that much, for this came so easy for you...amazing!

Be proud for your progress is worth bragging about,

Jaba

repeat post...

I definitely drank enough to suffer withdrawal. I've never had DT's before but the withdrawal was more like a general sense of suffering. I'd get very anxious, moody, and even some physical affects like general feeling of being sick, irregular heartbeat, sweaty palms and that sort of thing. All that would be instantly cured by one drink, which would lead to a night of drinking, and the cycle would continue. Some days after I'd actually be shaking. On those days I knew there was absolutely no question I'd have to drink again that night for fear of what would happen. On other days I could stop. I often had target stop dates and sometimes was even pretty good about completing them. I'd call it my 'day of suffering' the day I'd stop drinking after a week, months long binge. It would be one terribly uncomfortable day followed by a couple more recovery days and then I'd actually feel like I broke free. After that it was like an epiphany! I'd look back and thing to myself why would I, how could I drink like that. I need to stop doing that. Then of course it would come back full circle. One drink would lead to weeks or even months of nightly black outs.

I'm finishing my 13th week now and have not been drunk or hungover once since I started. I still shake my head in disbelief. I'm still drinking but I've really met my interim goal which was to drink normally, safely, reduce harm etc... Drinking no longer is overpowering my life. I don't think about it like I used to. The biggest thing I notice is the planning, or lack there of. I would always have to have every thing planned and make sure that I had enough alcohol in the house and in my hidden places so that I could keep my levels up to prevent the suffering. Speaking of the suffering. It's amazing really. And TSM has taught me something that I was wrong about all these years of self analyzing my addiction. I thought that the alcohol molecule itself was what was responsible for my suffering when in fact it was my own brain that was and the opioidergic system and endorphin. I previously thought that when I drank the alcohol molecule was a sort of poison that did what ever it did to the body to make you demand more of it as it starts to wear out of your system and that the hangover was caused by the lack of alcohol. A hangover would give me irregular heart beats, digestion problems and so on and I thought that after years of abuse I sort of created a system inside that required the alcohol molecule to fit in like a key to carry on normal body functions like digestion and so on.

After my very first take of Naltrexone I knew I was completely wrong. I went from 16 drinks in one night down to 7 and then 3 the next day and have maintained an average of 2-3 per night ever since. If what I thought was the case then I would have suffered greatly but it's not. When I had one drink, the first one, in about a half our the sickness would start to come in. I thought that the anxiety, the general unease, the sweating, nausea, irregular heart beat, and so on was due to the fact that the body needed the alcohol molecule. It does need the alcohol but it only needs the alcohol to produce endorphin which is the real culprit here. It's the primitive brains desire for endorphin that causes the pain. I know I was wrong because now on Naltrexone I can have one beer and not feel sick a half hour later at all. It's not the actual alcohol that is causing the pain. I remember one of my favorite drugs for hangovers was the opiates like PErcocet or Lortab, that sort of thing. Now I know why I gravitated towards that.

The travesty here is that it is our own brains that torture us. This part of the brain is like a self serving psychopath that when does not get what it wants will torture the body into submitting to another decision part of the brain to feed it the endorphin it needs to sedate it into oblivion. This prehistoric part of the brain just wants to black out for eternity, totally just shut down into a mindless oblivion at all costs.

I do understand that there is a physical dependency on the alcohol molecule itself too especially in really chronic alcoholics but the far majority of our suffering comes from our brains that we have trained to become the evil little bastard it is.

Anyway last week my mom and dad came for a visit. Long story short I had to help my dad off to bed because he couldn't walk. He drank probably three bottles of wine. I had two glasses and a beer. He's 75 but still parties like a rock star. I don't think he's going to last much longer at this rate. The next morning I talked to my mom about TSM. She said she's tried everything. Apparantly he was sober for a year jsut a few years ago. I some how missed that but do remembering that on a few visits my dad didn't drink. It's not liek I have not seen this before. After all I have followed completely in his foot steps. Like him I am a highly functional alcoholic. I can wait it out. I can suffer and dry up when necessary in a pinch. I know how to wait it out till I get the full go and then drink into oblivion, wake up in the morning and just deal with it.

He looked fine the next morning. It always amazed me how he could bounce right back. We had a late lunch and he had one beer with lunch. Later that night, probably 5 hours later he started on the wine. He must have been suffering. That is something I could absolutely never do. If I was too drunk to walk the night before I'd rather suffer all day with a hangover then have one beer and then nothing for hours. That would kill me. In fact it plain and simply wouldn't be possible. I'm a Boy Scout, always be prepared, I'd have little airplane bottles in my pocket, in the car, in the cabinet, where ever jsut to nip myself into medical safety. That night he only drank medicinal amounts of wine. Never got drunk.

That's the way it's always been for him, that's the way it's been for me.

I gave my mom a copy of the book and several websites to look at. I hope soon she brings it up with him. I will push her too. If he starts TSM soon and recovers like I did in no time it would make me feel like it was one of the finest accomplishments of my life. To introduce this simple life saving technique and save someone. And I bet he would be just like me, a fast responder. I think it's in our Genes.

Well next week I'm off to a conference for work. Typically I'd get to my hotel and immedialy call the front desk and find out where the liqueur stores are and buy a bottle of bourbon and some beer.

Don't see that happening this time around

I'll be back in two weeks if not sooner. Stay strong and stick to the golden rule.

IOW be good when I am away :p

Ocean,

It always surprises me when I hear the remarkable stories of how TSM changes people lives, and I don't know why. There is no smoke and mirrors here just science. But I have to say you had a remarkable journey indeed. And those side effects you had I think I had some of them when I tried going sober...I thought it was me going through the change .

I do hope your dad tries TSM, for I know it will help him. I have to agree that if he drinks like that often it isn't good for his health. I hope he looks at it like he has nothing to loose (for I did). But will he miss getting drunk? It is funny when I hear someone say that, but I can understand the lure al. can have to someone. I know I won't and don't, but I know some people have a hard time giving up that buzz.

Have fun at your conference (if you can),

Jaba

good luck with your dad. sounds like there are some possibilities of him being receptive underneath it all. and what is there to lose?

The conference is going amazingly well. Well I am drinking more then normal but still not getting drunk or hangovers but way better than loke inot the past. Last night was the award banquet and normally I'd put down at least a pint of whiskey before showing up and drinking heavy through the whole affair. I had a beer prior and sipped one through the event. .. unheard of. So far TSM still never cease's to amaze me.

Best to you all.

Its great that things are going so well for you Ocean and with milestones like the banquet you can really see the difference. Good for you!! Newlife