I'm not sure. . .

We're not very objective, as a group. The rats Dr. Sinclair worked with, were. (Objective)

I suspect we are ALL overthinking this. Trying to use a combination of TSM, with willpower, and analytical thinking.

We talk about drinking out 'of habit,' and then trying to 'change' our habits. 'Got a plan.' (How many of our plans have worked in the past? NONE - or we wouldn't be here!)

Hellllooooo???? That's a pavlovian thing. We have certain 'triggers,' and respond unconsciously. This is precisely what TSM addresses: the pavlovian, habitual, learned behavior.

But this is our saving grace! Willpower does NOT work. Deciding on a 'course of action,' does NOT work.

Naltrexone+drinking=cure. THIS IS WHAT WORKS.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

Drinking to my health. . .(can ya tell?)

I agree with all of you that this is harder than my mind will allow. I've spent so much time feeling guilty and bad for drinking and feeling ashamed of the emotions and feeling I had when I was. I feel bad for the things I've done to my husband and not remembering them.

Binge drinking is the worst. I wish I could just have a few night and go to bed, but that is not what happens with me, I push the limit of everything I am.

I am waiting for the TSM to take hold of me. I know it will and I know it takes time. I am scared that because I am a binge drinker that it will take longer for this work, but I am in it for the long haul. I've seen other people who are in front of me making great strides and claiming it a success, as I go back and read their journey it was a struggle for them as well.

Thank you all for the support. Since there is no other people in my life that understand this method and I've just lost the one person who might have... I need all the encouragement I can get.

Ouch - Week number 6

So it was an emotional week. And on top of that I'm heading out the country for the next 10 days on vacation.

So here is my past week. Did good until the weekend then not so good. Not beating myself up just being real.

Today I went to my doctor who refused to give me NAL, said a I need a specialist.... WTF??? so made an appointment and ordering more from river.

I have enough to make it during my vacation just worried about when I get home.

I am afraid I will run out and then what????

So I will try to post as much as I can while I am out of the area. Keep me in your thoughts...

Providence, that sucks! Guess I am fortunate with the doctor I have perscribing first the topa then the naltrexone and I have only been her patient for a short time and she did not know of tsm either.
Good luck with the specialist. I think one has to be firm in order to get the rx sometimes. I went in with a positive but very firm attitude more or less saying well are you going to help me or what? I have never been like that before. I am the one in the corner of the examining room with the crumpled sweaty note in my hand usually.

Providence,

I would suggest not even mentioning TSM to a doctor. It's too controversial yet. My psych doesn't know I'm doing it, but prescribes it for cravings, and assumes I'm remaining abstinent. It's approved for that purpose, and if you say you're trying to control your cravings, you're not lying. Do whatever you have to in order to get it - don't risk dealing with someone who doesn't know about TSM, because many doctors would never condone using a medication for alcoholism that involves drinking. It will take quite a while for the world to embrace this idea. Just my opinion. Best of luck.

Well back home from my vacation! What a great trip. I did take my NAL everyday I drank (which was everyday) and sometimes I took 2 depending on the amount and times I started drinking.

I can't tell if I went overboard because after the 3 day I lost track. I know I went through 2 bottles of vodka in a few days time and the 3 third by the end of the week, 1 bottle of Amarato and an ASS load of beers because the wine wasn't that good to me.

So depending on the amount of units is in a 1.5 little bottle, I'm going to have to say I was over 100.
But I'm not sure because I drank the beer much faster than the Alcohol.

Well that was my week.

You drank through some triggers to extinguish them. Part of the process. Press on!

Yes, vacations are not the time to worry about the number of units - they're a time to let your hair down, and relax. Even non-alkies often drink to excess on vacation.

Won't it be grand when we no longer define ourselves by this stinkin' addiction?

So I went back to my trusty calendar and added up my units the week before vacation, during and after. I still think it's higher than I actually drank (because I lost count) but I still think its 20 units at least lower than my pre TSM days which speaks volumes trust me.

I am now on Week 10 and it's underway. So far I am at 2 days AF and last night I only had 5 units during happy hour and once I got home, even though I have vodka in the fridge which I would have in the past had at least one or more as a nightcap, I just decided to go to bed. I was done for the night.

I decided to cut and paste my update from the MWO site just to keep it all here for the record:

I went to post my weekly update and it's gone. How sad, I hope it is back up and running soon. I stopped journaling when I started posting there.

So here is my update. I went back and looked at my vacation week and the week I got home and think I messed up my numbers, so it wasn't as bad as I thought.

Last week was better. I had 2 AF days, not because I tried, but because they just happened. The weekend was a little rougher, but trust me if you had the week I had you'd be on a weekend bender too. I think I missed my pill on Saturday, so I hope it didn't mess me up, but I remember reading that if it happens once it won't do too much damage.

But still with that I am way under my old limits. I can't remember was week I'm on. I think I wrote it down in my calendar, so I will have to dig it out again and find out but it was sometime in April.

Last time I checked in I had gone to my doctor and they refused Naltrexone but gave me camprel. I have an appointment with a specialist be he couldn't get me in until July 15th. I can call the office to see if anyone cancels until then. So Im down to 10 pills left so I'm ordering 30 days supply. I just hope it gets here before I run out. I am hopeful.

I'm having 1-3 AF days a week, so I think I will be ok.

Bob, I'm the complete opposite as you. I have terrible nightmares, coldsweats and disrupted sleep when I stop drinking (which I know happens). I still get very mild headached while on Nal, it kicks in about 2 hours after I take it. I take advil and it goes away but will come back as the Nal is wearing off. It's not unbearable, but noticable.

Providence - that's really encouraging -- you are having multiple AF days without trying. WOW!!

And - hey - isn't it kind of cool that you can't remember what week you are on now? I mess up as well...it seems like only yesterday that I couldn't wait to get to the end of that first week.

Congrats again, you sound like you are doing great.

...and I just looked up and I'm already past my NAL hour wait without noticing -- need to go drink - Cheers