Today, after the grandson was off to school, and I was home alone, I thought I should have a glass of wine. And it hit me, it's a habit I think of drinking. And this is about Habit extextion. And I realized how much it is just to drink being a habit. I'm taking nal, so it's ok for me to drink. So my MO is to just do it. That was a real moment of clarety for me. That is a habit. Just like any other bad habit I've had in life, that I broke! And this will happen with this also. I find it interesting how I realize things like this during the process of just being allowed to drink, without shame. I get to think about what I'm doing.

Your doing great. JUst what you've always done. Habit.

Hugs

Yes Tamara - the Nal can help only so much - the rest is up to us and it is great that you realised how much of it is habit. Unfortunately it is a habit that is really hard to break - for me anyway - I drink when I get home ..... habit, I drink when I garden ..... habit, and so it goes on and on.

Good for you realising and trying to do something about it !

Hugs, Maggie x

Great realization, Tamara. I have been noticing that a lot of my drinking is a habit, too. We sit by the pool during the summer on weekends and after a certain time, a "special drink" is in order. I am working on a list of mocktails, some drinks that feel special poolside but do not start the consumption of al for the day.

And I agree, it's a hard habit to break. What happens with me is after the habit starts the obsession to drink sets in, and thats what I have no control over. I had never thought of it as a learned behavior before until TSM. If it were easy, non of us would need to be here. And I hate it. I've wished so many times that I could just be normal.

I notice it's a habit but haven't been able to do anything about it yet. I wonder if the nal working in the brain will help change that too.

And after I hear the nal won't do it all, I get angry. Damn it, I want a magic pill.

I don't think I've been able to drink freely like this to even think how my brain works in the process of picking it up. The years of guilt, anger, depression while sneaking, or while attending AA feeling like a total lose.

Its just very different drinking with TSM. Even my thinking about it while not drinking. Am I making any sense?

And I really don't have the best writing skills, so I sometimes have trouble getting my point accross. Didn't like English in school, and now I'm paying.

I only wish all of us to get well.

You are making sense, Tamara. We will have to work on the habits and nal will have to work on the obsession.

Tamara -

You are making total sense. ALL OF US are here for the same reason. We have an addiction, habit, allergy or whatever to AL. We all have said I quit a hundred times in the morning only to be pouring a drink later that day. We have all been ashamed, stupid, crazy, depressed, nasty etc while drinking.

We understand! Just know that it does seem to work -just not magically. It will take time and work to break the learned behavior.

Honestly jaba what works for me is Naltrexone. Quite frankly I was pretty hopeless before that.What you say is typical for all of us I believe. I know exactly to the point what you mean about alcohol being first and formost. I can't think of the number of times I put off doing something fun like going to concerts on the lawn or to a movie with my wife and friends because I would ratehr drink. I knew that they would first meet for dinner and have a drink and go to a movie.. hahaha what a laugh that would be impossible for me. I'd drink before during and after if I had to go through it so I'd rather jsut stay home.

Sad really.

But it's ok we are getting better now and that's the important thing.

The habit is a very powerful thing. I think it's really the thing that takes some of us so long to be sucessfull with TSM. I still drink out of habit. Finish mowing the lawn, time for a beer, get home from work, time for a beer, there's always and excuse for a beer. Problem is that habit of wanting one beer over time then became an insane chase for the next oen and the next one and that is what TSM has nipped in the bud for me so far.



You know when you think about it, you say you have always had thoughts of just being normal right? Oh how I know those thoughts, I know them very well. But if ya think about it, even normal people once in a while get a hang over. I know this is not the AA way and it's not even really the TSM way to a certain point but it's true. My wife is not an alcoholic but I've seen her drunk before.

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True. The fact that I didn't go into a big funk over it was a good thing. I have to keep remembering that this is a process and just because I found TSM doesn't mean that everything is going to suddenly be perfect. I am also realizing that I am pretty hard on myself. I was feeling really down because yesterday's al free day was so hard for me. Then this morning I realized that, difficult or not, I did it! Why not celebrate that? Gee, I don't want to turn into Deena Downer!

I really like this!! XO Newlife