I know that word is powerful, I had so many 'could have been dead' things happen to me as a direct result of my drinking, that I am sure my luck would have run out eventually.

That's if I'd not drunk myself to death.

After a binge I'd wake and not be able to do anything for 8-10 hours, often unable to stomach anything, wretching on bile, sometimes diarrhea coming out the other end.

Once after laying in bed most of the day I ventured out for more booze and collapsed in a supermarket, waving a £10 note worried they'd not sell me the bottle I was buying. I insisted on walking home, and drank that night away.

I fell down the stairs, another time fell onto a fire and took the skin off my arm.

Jumped into a fast flowing river in the middle of winter. Spent a night in a notorious quicksand bay, went for a midnight swim in a loch. Turned my car over during a car crash trying to turn away from the other vehicle. Loads of stuff. Nutted the doorstep with my nose during in icy winter, didn't remember that but pieced it together.

My nose was going red with the first drink. I was weak and sick. Often I felt such despair I walked in front of buses and lorries when crossing the main road.

Years back I got in to taxis with men I didn't know, was taken to places I didn't know.............then didn't know how to get home.

I also took overdoses, 40 paracetamol at a time plus booze. 30 UK units each day of each session which might be 4 hours, or up to 4 days. A Dr told me I would be dead in 10 years, this is now 10 years on.

I am convinced I would have died. My body would have given up, or I'd have been in a tragic accident.

And now look at your glorious beautiful self. Wish I could share your wedding smile with the forum. It blew me away!

Steve.

It's amazing and all thanks to a whole chain of events starting with me deciding that I no longer wished to die.

5 years ago I set about finding a way to beat it.

Our postergirl!

Hear hear! You are a real poster child to us all here UKB !!!! Glad that you ARE with us still!!

Hugs, Maggie xx

UKB, wow... Congratulations on turning your life around. I am glad you are here to advise and counsel.

U.K. Blonde,

What a life that you have lived and now you can share. You have lived a life that most would shutter at and others would have ended up dead! I am grateful that you are here, that you cared enough to find a way out, and are willing to stick around this forum to help others.

You had the strength to pull yourself out of that situation, and still help us with our habits. Most would have fled after they were "cured". I know I have denied knowing someone because I didn't want to acknowledge my past, but here you are being open with us. A task that is hard. Be proud, and own the world, for you deserve to live life to it fullest.

I am honored to know you and your past struggles,

Jaba

now I need to find a new box of tissues...

'ere I'm far from perfect. I have a real problem with people not taking me seriously, so when someone asks a serious question, they might end up with more than they bargained for.

Sooooo, I'm hoping everyone here can help with the humour side

I did have quite a few sober spells, and some happy times, but they weren't many because I was having to keep chanting the mantras - which I still use BUT the big difference is I don't have that burning drive to drink. TSM took the alcoholic pressure right off.

I also don't regret the alcoholism, I believe it was going to happen, and that's that.

None of us would be here, talking right around the globe, if it wasn't for alcohol and then TSM

BBC currently have a programme called Special Forces - Ultimate Hell Week. End of the first episode the survivors are given a task, a task they couldn't complete without losing the weakest in the group. They choose to fail by running together to support the weakest.

I was in tears, still am.

Not sure what it means yet, but it's made me feel really nice and warm inside. I wanna hug you all.

UKB - That is so sweet!! I am tearing up too just thinking about it. Wait until jaba hears, she will have to run out to the store for a box of tissues!!

Hugs back to you, Newlife

That is what you call team spirit! And I would have been balling and holding my pup if I could have seen that as well.

UKB,

You are an amazing women! And don't you forget it, for I wouldn't change a thing about you...humor and all! And I like it when people are brutally honest for I am not one to sugar coat it and I gag when others try to do it with me.

Actually, I think we all are amazing for we are striving for a better life. A life where al. doesn't have the reins!

Jaba

I would like to think that we have team spirit here...don't we?