Doesn't sound like a big whoop.

I doubt it will matter in the long run.

Keep on keeping on!

Retread now that i have more time I wanted to post a longer post for you. I am sure that your recent setback must have upset you and discouraged you. I am SO glad that UKB posted and said that similar things have happened to her. I know that I have read the same from others as well. So don't get discouraged and give up; just go back to being the guy who could order the cranberry and soda in the airport bar and really enjoy it. You did that, and you can do it again.

This thing is not a straight line, the human brain is unfortunately so complicated. Hopefully you have kept taking the nal one hour before throughout, just keep going and you will get there. It's probably some sort of little test that your brain is giving you, like, hey man, are you REALLY serious about this?

Af days for me are not easy right now, but I am starting to feel like I really need more of them. I just FEEL so much better,and it also helps keep the numbers under control.

Please let us know how you are doing. Big hugs from Newlife

Thanks Newlife, UKB, Guapo, Maggie and everyone. I did take the NAL an hour before and yes, I set out to get hammered and was successful at it. I also am successful at AF days, and I'm going to try a little experiment with how many I can string together. Pre TSM, I had little choice in whether I drank or not. I just did; it was my normal. Now, I do have a choice. The cravings are gone, so drinking requires effort where before not drinking required effort I couldn't muster. I am so grateful to all of you for reading my posts and for the way in which we encourage one another. AA for me was a black hole. The only measure of one's success in life was "working a good program" and how much time one had. I get so much more support here from people I'll likely never meet than in all my years in and out of AA. Take care everybody, and again, thanks!
All the Best,
Retread

I'm new here, 13 weeks in, but from all I have been reading, it seems like the roller coaster aspect of it is part of the process. I have read few stories of people where people didn't have a blip or two during their journey. Seeing that the cravings are gone for you gives me hope.

Retread,

That is amazing that you are successful at AF days and the cravings are gone! I still have those cravings, and I hope they dissipate with time. I do hope my post wasn't too harsh, for I am not sure what would be the best to say for someone in your place. And I was glad to read what everyone wrote, for I feel like everyones input helps others to know what may be in store for them in the future. We are stronger in a group then alone and dealing with our shortcomings.

Good to hear you sounding more upbeat,

Jaba

Hey Jaba,
Your post wasn't harsh in the least. I used to be much more thin skinned than I am now. I'm on AF day 3, and have much to do through the weekend. I never drink when I ride my motorcycle, my gal is going to be out of town so I think I'll just take a ride through the Carolina mountains weather permitting. My recent meltdown notwithstanding I'm finding I'm working out more and getting back into competitive shooting and other things I did before drinking took up so much of my time. It really is amazing to me that I spent so many sunny days pounding beers and little else. Best to everyone!
Retread

Retread,

How I wished I lived in or near the mountains. Sounds like a high by itself (yeah I confess I am a John Denver fan). I loved the drive home from Carolinas when we went there, beautiful country. Actually, I thought I found an area that I really wanted to buy for a weekend "retreat" (it had no cell or internet reception) my husband balked at the idea, he has to be plugged in at all times.

It does sound like you have picked yourself up and dusted off you pants and are moving along. I am glad that you have made 3 af days and you have solid plans to live life to the fullest! Makes me very happy.

Keep posting you progress,


Jaba

Hi Jaba and everyone,
I had 4 AF days this week, however I consumed 27 units on the drinking days. I know I can do much better. I have been under tremendous pressure from lousy business, my almost fiancé dropped me in the grease because my finances are so unstable, and my ex has filed a contempt motion because I haven't been able to continue the level of alimony she had been getting. I deliberately just wanted to get wasted and forget this stuff for a few hours. I think that like UKB, ultimately I'm going to have to go alcohol free. I do think I'm much further along than my recent behavior suggests. As I said earlier, before I had little choice as to whether I drank. Now it takes conscious effort. I think that does qualify as progress.
All the Best,
Retread

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that you chose to have those 27 units, you weren't compelled to have them. That is indeed progress! Congratulations on continuing your journey.

Retread,

I am glad that your are becoming aware of your drinking habits. That is what I call mindful drinking, and that is a really big step in progress!

I am sorry about everything that is happening in your life, but things will quiet down with time. One thing I have to repeat to myself over and over and over again is "THIS TOO SHALL PASS".

I wish you quieter days,

Jaba