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 Post subject: Relationship changes
PostPosted: Sat Aug 01, 2015 4:02 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 07, 2015 6:20 pm
Posts: 3
I'm interested in what happens in relationships after cutting back on drinking. I found myself more intolerant, irritable, and more aware of how often I give in to others to keep the peace or don't speak my mind.


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship changes
PostPosted: Sat Aug 01, 2015 6:40 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2014 5:02 am
Posts: 242
Sometimes I think I am more irritable after I take my NAL. Would be interested in other's experiences.

Any relationship that had alcohol as the primary glue holding it together is bound to suffer...

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Began: March 2014
Cured: August 2014


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship changes
PostPosted: Sun Aug 02, 2015 12:38 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 18, 2015 2:45 am
Posts: 27
Me too. In my case I don't believe it is from cutting back on alcohol, but a SE from the pill. And I don't get my mood change right after I take my meds, but one or two days later.
But then I am quite miserable and very irritable especially towards my husband.

_________________
Pre TSM: average 63 p week, 0 AF
wk 1: 28, 3 AF
wk 2: 3, 6 AF
wk 3: 11,5, 5 AF
wk 4: 17,5, 5 AF
wk 5: 4, 5 AF
wk 6: 3, 6 AF
wk 7: 0, 7 AF!


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship changes
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 8:40 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2015 9:35 pm
Posts: 1429
I can relate to that as well. I have found if I am irritable I really have to ask myself if it is me or the other person. Thankfully my husband will step in and let me know (gently most of the time). It has been getting easier with time, sleepy time tea, and valerian root. I find my most irritable time is at night when I usually drink and that is why I use the tea; however, the valerian root can be taken in smaller doses to help with stress (which for me it is a build up from the day). Good luck and remember this to shall pass!

Jaba


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship changes
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 8:49 am 
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Joined: Fri May 09, 2014 10:08 am
Posts: 438
Comparing a bit of irritability to passing out, forgetting the night before, repeating yourself, and acting stupid, etc etc makes it a win in my book

Once your mind can go beyond obsessing about the next drink, or the last drink, or wouldn't it be great to have a drink, things get much better mentally. It takes some time though


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship changes
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 9:38 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2015 12:54 pm
Posts: 1204
Yea I have had the irritability too so I know EXACTLY what you mean. But at least when sober I can rationally think about and work on my relationships. That has to be better. Newlife

_________________
Newlife
started 3/3/15
Pre-TSM 26 - 30 US Units/week

Month 1 16/wk av 4AF month
2 17/wk av 5 AF
3 18/wk av 6 AF
4 NT
5 NT
6 NT
7 17/wk av 4 AF
8 17/wk av 5 AF
9 13/wk av 5 AF
10 & 11 NT
Beginning tracking again Week 48
Wk 48 18/2 49 14.5/2


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship changes
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 10:30 am 
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Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 6:52 am
Posts: 1003
Location: England
My drinking destroyed relationships and my ability to have them. I was more interested in drinking, and would also be very unpredictable and untrustworthy.

Yes I get irritable, but that's life.

I started a relationship just as I started TSM, to be fair we had known each other a fair few years prior, however I know that if I hadn't used TSM and reduced my drinking, the relationship would not have had a chance.

I'm soon to be married.

My fiance knows I am moody, I've also explored some of this in my own therapy, as well as part of a subject I've been studying at graduate level.

It is thought that attachment theory is of particular consquence to addicts, not everyone goes along with it, but I know for me it does explain how I can be in my close relationships. It's helped me understand myself and how I relate to others a lot better.

Might be worth looking up, but be warned it can evoke painful issues and memories.

_________________
Naltrexone Started 20th April 2011

Cravings eliminated Sept 2011
Now fully in control, alcohol no longer bothers me. Chose to go AF from 22nd July 2013.
TSM set me free


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship changes
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 2:23 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2015 12:54 pm
Posts: 1204
UKB: Congrats on your engagement!! Newlife

_________________
Newlife
started 3/3/15
Pre-TSM 26 - 30 US Units/week

Month 1 16/wk av 4AF month
2 17/wk av 5 AF
3 18/wk av 6 AF
4 NT
5 NT
6 NT
7 17/wk av 4 AF
8 17/wk av 5 AF
9 13/wk av 5 AF
10 & 11 NT
Beginning tracking again Week 48
Wk 48 18/2 49 14.5/2


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship changes
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 3:12 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2015 12:27 pm
Posts: 1691
Initially I had no irritability with the Nal - but the past few weeks if I take it and drink, then I am just awful that I have noticed. I have always been so 'nice' for want of a better word - hubs asked me the other day who had kidnapped his wife and replaced her with me ! We have been married for 33 years and he said I have really changed over the past 6 months ..... :(

Hugs, Maggie x

_________________
Pre Nal 40-45 wk


Month 12: 4 drinks TOTAL (Dec '15)
13: 2 drinks (nearly) for Jan '16 !!!
None since Jan '16 I feel that I can safely say that I am cured!


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship changes
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 3:27 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2015 12:22 pm
Posts: 336
I am with Guapo on this one. I am not sure if I am more irritable or not but wife is pretty happy I am trying to kick AL and a happy wife equals a happy life! Plus we are both a little irritable because we have several teenagers that are pay back for ALL of the bad things we did in life PLUS INTEREST! :(

_________________
Start 6/24/15
Pre 10-14 drinks day/70-100 wk
month/avg unit week/af total
1/118/1
2/81/7
3/55/6
4/37/14
5/44/5
6/24/8
7/40/12
8/19/13af
9/27/13af
10/34/8
Month 11 - did not count
Month 12 counted last week -34/3af


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