I was wondering why she didn't tell you - and also was wondering what she told your son about you - and why you were not in his life....glad that your folks were okay with it - must be pretty exciting for everyone I think!

Hugs, Maggie x

hey Maggie--- pm'd you more info....

you can put pictures on image-sharing websites - photobucket, imageshack, etc. - & embed them in a post using the "Img" button

congratulations by the way

Zontar - I am so happy for you!! PLEASE let me know how it all goes. I am also happy that your son will come to meet you on Labor Day weekend. That will be HUGE. It is strange that his mother didn't tell you, isn't it? And, I didn't know that you had no other children. Same for my birthfather, he never had any other kids. Wishing you all the best with the reunion.

XOXO from Newlife

That is very exciting news Zontar and happy for you! Also great job on your reduced drinking!!

thanks newlife and AG---

it's been a crazy month. birth mother gave him up for adoption right after birth. her mom and dad were pretty dysfunctional and she felt like I didn't need to be involved.

yeah, I wish I would have known, but after 30+ years I can't hate her for it now. we had a great conversation and she told me he "couldn't have a better birth father" and "I'm so glad he's so much like you". She seems like she really means it. I'm just really happy he found his dad. his birth mom was adopted also, so he has NO medical history. hope I can help him out!

Zontar...I really apologize for sticking my big nosy head in your business...but...I guess I'm feelin it. Love the Mom. She couldn't care for him but she didn't take the easier way out. She gave him life. And carried a huge burden alone. Also I always thought if I were in similar situation, I'd want to meet and hug and thank the adopters. Truthfully, I'm such a big sentimental sap, I'd be on a plane. So never mind.
Thanks for sharing with us.
Steve.

Wow, Zontar, what a story!! Of course you can't hate her even though it is incredible really. I have such high hopes for you. Still my advice is take it a little at a time and feel your way. Keep us posted!! xoxo Newlife

One more question, Zontar, even though it really doesn't matter. How could she have arranged an adoption without the birthfather's consent? I don't know if that has crossed your mind, and of course it is all water under the bridge, but I can't help wondering.....I think my adoption was black market as my file was very strange and screwed up. Anyway the important thing is the relationship you hopefully will develop. Good luck!! Newlife

Newlife - maybe she said she didn't know who the father was ? I do not know anything about adoptions - maybe back then they didn't need the fathers consent ? Back then things were so different with adoption wasn't it - odd about your adoption being so screwed up too ....

Hugs, Maggie x