Hi there.

We are all here because we have a problem with alcohol. Whether we binge or drink on a daily basis, some drink more some a little less. We all came to the conclusion that enough is enough and we need to do something about the addiction.

Now I am always a little in awe about the cured thing. What is cured? What is your concept of cured? How do you define it?
Is it absolute abstinence? Is it the fact that you don't waste time thinking about alcohol, and drinking anymore? Is it to be able to stay below the limits of the WHO? Is it indifference?
What is your motivation for following TSM and what is your goal?

For me, in the first place, I need to cut down on my alcohol consumption, starting right now. First I focus on moderation and staying below 'healthy' limits. I don't want to be a teetotaler, at least for now that's not my ambition. Also I want to be able to drink something in a restaurant or at social occasions (why?). I don't want to be stigmatized as an alcoholic (why? I certainly am).
In the long run, I don't know. If alcohol is loosing it's colour, it's magic, it's fun. Then why bother to continue drinking at all?

I would like to hear more about your goals, motivation and ambitions.

Okay Chicken - I was fed up with AL ruling my life - I never got drunk, had blackouts, had any trouble in my life re my job, family or friends because of AL, but it bothered ME that I was addicted to it. I drank daily and the amount was slowly but surely going up over time. The writing was on the wall that it was not going to get any better!

For me, a 'Cure' means that I do not think about AL every day - that I do not have to have that AL every day, that I can go AF and not think about it - that I can have ONE or two drinks and not want more. I am still not to the point where I can have one or two drinks and stop - on my drinking days I am still having 4 or 5 - and five makes me feel SO ill the next day now ! But I am definitely having way more AF days than I was .... I know that I will get there - I just have to be patient and trust in the Nal, and try and be more mindful when I drink - when I can stop at 1 or 2, I will know that I am almost there !!

I suppose my goal is to be AF most of the time but not have to think that I am BEING 'AF' - if you follow ? - to drink like a normal person and not let AL rule my life ....

Hugs, Maggie x

I very much agree with Maggie. I also realized that I have problem with alcohol when during the day I was looking forward to the time when I will have a drink. At parties, I would look with great desire towards the next drink. When people were pouring wine, I would make sure that my glass is empty so that I get a full glass. In restaurants, I would feel unhappy if the waiter did not fill up glass to the full. At receptions, I would take the glass with the most wine in it etc. When I realized that this behavior is becoming troubling, I stopped having alcohol at home. This helped, but then I often bought a bottle of wine and drank it alone - hiding the fact that I am drinking from my kids. While cooking, I would have a glass of wine in the kitchen I would slowly drink it. However, when I had a bottle opened, I sort of had to finish it.

After the first week on Nal, I lost this urge to drink. I now leave wine in the glass at the party and say no when someone wants to top it up. Last night at a party, I had two glasses of champagne and just one small glass of wine. This is very new for me. Normally, I would have 5 glasses of wine in situation like that.

I drink out of habit, not so much out of desire to get drunk. I am never terribly drunk. I function very well even if I drank a lot. Usually I drink a lot of water with drinks and I am very careful that I do not lose control. Thus, people around me have no idea that I have alcohol problem.

Sadly, however, I have problems with side effects from Nal. Now, I take 12,5 mg, but it still makes me head not feel right and I also have slight nausea. The worst was when I twice took 50 mg - for three days, I barely functioned. I very much hope that those side effects subside.

Yes, exactly.

Yes, and it is also that one finds AF days enjoyable. I used to look forward to events where alcohol will be served. Now, I don't. I prefer days when no social obligation is planned and I know there will be no drinks around. I also love the fact that I wake up fresh and full of energy. This was not the case when I used to have a bottle of wine in the evening. It is truly magical. And, I am only taking 12,5 mg Nal per drinking occasion.

I am also taking 12.5 mg Nal, because I can't tolerate more. I get headaches, nausea and can't sleep well. I also feel irritable and a bit disconnected and can't work out the next day if I take more. That may change with time (I hope). My definition of "cured" is also when I can take or leave alcohol. When I no longer think about it all the time and when I can have it again. When it becomes a small part of my life and thought process, instead of constantly being there.

Nal definitely is curbing my cravings. The side effects are difficult for me and make me not want to take it. But it is doing the job of cutting my intake and cravings. I also am eating less which is good, as I am a binge eater as well as drinker. Hopefully in the next few weeks the side effects will lessen.

Thanks everybody for replying. It is funny, but reading some of your submissions is like reading my own thoughts.

I like to cook and I tended to cook dinner to fit the alcoholic beverage I was craving. Instead of a wine accompanying a dinner, it was the other way around with me. And also for me social occasions have been the big excuse to drink and look forward to. And yes, I know also the sneaky, greedy desire to take the fullest glass at receptions!

For me, I try to knowingly undergo my way to the cure.
When I tried to stop smoking somebody said to me that it was a process of mourning. Of saying good bye to a good friend.
You have the 5 stages of mourning. In a way these also apply to the process of quitting an addiction.

Sometimes for me it is still hard to accept the pill and the effect the pill has on me.
@Tamtam and JanCan: I take Selincro instead of the NAL but also am suffering from SEs. Pretty much all you describe in your post I have experienced as well. Sometimes it make you wander to not take it, but that is a no-go!

Anyways , I am not complaining. In contrary.
Selincro and the TSM is a very good tool for me. Without it I would not have been able to cut down my alcohol intake that drastically as I already have.
I tried before, one year ago. But I could not go on for longer than just a few weeks. And by now my cravings would have been bad again and I would have started bingeing in the weekends again.
Now, with the help of the pill, I already have reached the point that I rather stay AF than drink. I am actually looking forward to a nice cup of tea in the evening, isn't that funny?

It is not about the short term pain, but the long term gain!
Just keep going.

Chicken,
I am impressed by your progress. I hope to come close to your AF days. Not there yet! I might need to increase Nal to 25 mg in the next days, since I have a lot social occasions where it might be a challenge to drink only a glass or two of wine. One needs to learn not to have a glass in the hand. It will be a new thing for me.

I agree with you that without Nal it is much much more difficult to deal with craving. I also tried many times to cut my drinking. I would decide to have no wine at home, but then after a few days a situation would occur when I were be anxious or slightly bored and I would go to the shop to buy a bottle of wine. I cannot really remember when was so enjoyable about drinking that bottle. There was no "need" for it. But somehow it allowed me some unaccounted time.

I also used to smoke - many many years ago. And I remember that a cigarette for me was about those few minutes of "freedom". It allowed me to think, it was a break from routine, a social event, too, if I was with others. I was able to quit smoking over night. Just did not like it anymore. Now, I can once or twice a year smoke a cigarette with friends, but never crave them after. While drinks also allowed me to break daily routine, they become a routine itself. However, I fear that they are actually for me more difficult to give up than cigarettes because there is a social dimension in drinking which I enjoy.