I still don't know what to think of the whole affair (no pun intended!). I'm leaning toward thinking he is really my son, but I'm not sure. DNA is at the lab now, and they're saying 4-6 weeks. it stinks waiting!

meanwhile, I'm trying not to use AL an just take days as they come. spouse and I have a pretty tough discussion last night concerning money (I'm a saver, she's a spender), and it was really stressful. didn't sleep much last night. she's taken on debt I didn't know about and it really scares me. I knew about her approach to money before we married, and thought I could "save" us by keeping our money more separate. now she wants to crash into our savings more than I'm comfortable with. I'm just really trying to work on the solution instead of simply being bitter. yikes. pretty down right now.

I'm keeping AL at a distance, though. told myself I'm having one big glass of wine after tennis tonight and that's it. I know I can stick to it. thanks for your support; it means a ton.....

Wow, tough stuff, zontar. Marriage and relationships are tough, money stuff also tough. You are going through a lot right now!! But the fact that you are NOT leaning on AL speaks volumes!! Good for you. XOXO Newlife

doing OK. went to a big concert the other night. had two beers at home before, because I knew drinks would be expensive there. went to get a drink after the opening band, and beer lines were SUPER long. walked around to see if they'd get shorter, and they never did. decided not to buy any and was at the show for 4 hours without drinking!

previously I would have: A) stood in line forever and bought at least two beers or B) been agitated because I couldn't get my beer. as it turned out it was no big deal. never would have happened without Nal.

wow - that's quite a bombshell zontar! it sounds like you're being remarkably calm about it - hope it works out for you

I'm another adoptee - feel free to PM me if you want a male perspective

-badger

Great job at the concert! Amazing how much they charge and how long of lines we will stand in to get our fix! I have certainly missed a lot of a concert just to get my beer. Can not wait until I am able to walk by the long lines.

Good for you zontar. I can see that you are doing really well and that makes me happy.

Wow, badger, you are an adoptee too!! Interesting.

Nal on!! Newlife

Good for you Zontar! I am really impressed about you skipping the drinks at the event - I am not sure I would have been able to do that - really pleased for you !!

Hugs, Maggie x

well, made it through another big event yesterday. my wife and I were "host couple" at a friend's daughter's wedding, and our job from 3pm-1am was passing out free beer and wine. OK, I had more than a couple, but I was pretty much sticking to one beer every other hour, while I handed out cans, bottles, and poured wine for everyone.(I knew almost no one there, which might have been a good thing). wasn't too hard at all. it helped that the beer wasn't my favorite, and I knew enough not to even take a sip of wine, as I probably would have slid hard.

this was also the fifth week in a row I put back wine on my weekly grocery shopping trip. I used to ALWAYS have to have wine on hand (still feel that way about beer), but I always seem to drink more AL when wine tempts me at home. we'll see how long it lasts, but I'll take it for now.

still haven't heard results on my DNA testing. had another long phone call with my "potential son", though and it was very nice. can't stand the wait!!!!

Hey Zontar - even though you only had 1 AF your numbers are pretty good !! I think it is good that you are thinking things out - i.e. not touching the wine and drinking beer which isn't your favourite ! When the Nal does finally kick in for you properly I think you will be just fine ! I love when we realise that the Nal IS working although it may not feel as if it is ....

Lovely that you chatted with your maybe son .... I really hope that things work out for you both the way that you want them to. The DNA results take a long time - at least, hubs' did !

Have a great week .....

Hugs, Maggie x

Hi Zontar, I do the same about the wine and the groceries. I always used to have wine at home, which never lasted long.
Now I don't buy it and it makes it easier to not 'just' open another bottle and finish it.

Well done on bartendering at the wedding. It sounds very encouraging that you say that it was not too hard to refrain from the wine.

I wish you all the best with your DNA results!