Day 8: AF free again.

I don't want to get too giddy because I've had my setbacks before, but I feel like the pill might be working as advertised after 3 months of compliance with the pill.

I feel like the delight of being clear-headed and well-rested is finally overtaking my body's habit of seeking the euphoria of drinking (or, perhaps, now former euphoria).

Nal really has made the alcohol less enticing. Just to put this into perspective... I'd only had ONE AF free day since April of last year ( one day in 15 months), until this past week, and now I've had four AF Days out of eight days.

That can't be coincidence. I think it's finally kicking in.

it's real enough. keep it up!

I had three alcohol-free days that first week when I tried it. Then three alcohol free days again last week. And today will be my third alcohol-free day of this week.

It feels so good. The days of being sober and rested are definitely one of the most fun days of my week. I'm still drinking when I go out with friends to nightclubs/bars, but I'm doing after-work happy hours, dinners, and other small events without needing alcohol. I also haven't been drinking by myself.

It's fun to wake up the next day and remember what I said and what I did. I don't have to go check all my correspondence from the previous evening and then groan over what I texted someone when I was sitting around the house drunk.

Drinking four nights a week is still a lot compared to most people, but considering I used to NEVER take a day off from drinking, it is HUGE progress.

Brittany - I am so happy to hear your news - that is great! I have not had any AF this week, but over the past few weeks have had a fair few - yes it does feel good and I am so happy that things are moving for you !!

Hugs, Maggie

way to go, brittany. AF days are nice, aren't they?

Good for you, Brittany! so good to hear. xoxo Newlife

Hi brittany,

I recognize a lot in your story, around the same age, the problems with sleeping... I have been going on sometimes For a good amount of a period without falling of the wagon, but since I recently got redundant in my job because of a huge reorganization in my company, I tend to pityparty myself and skip appointments with friends etc because I feel selfworthless at certain moments.

I hope all Continues well with you!

Thank you Maggie, Newlife, Girlamsterdam, zontar, and everyone else that posts words of encouragement and is paying attention to my journey... This is the one place where I can be totally honest and it's so nice to have some people that understand and can relate.

A few days without drinking in a given week feels like such a paltry and misunderstood cause for celebration in "real life", but here I know it's recognized for the joyous victory that it feels like in my heart!

This past week, again four days AF!! I was almost at 5 but I had a slight setback last night in the form of delayed travel plans and wound up filling up the dead space with a few drinks.

This weekend I was out of town with friends at their lakehouse, an annual event at which there is much drinking and partying. I was surrounded by constant peer pressure to drink, but at no point did I get "sloppy", black out, or say/do anything embarrassing. I still drank a fair amount (probably 4-6 drinks both Fri and Sat), but it was well within the range of what a person that is at a lakehouse that doesn't have to drive a car might drink. And it was certainly less than what some others were drinking.

This weekend trip is notable, because the previous two years that I attended, I got WASTED, drank ALL day long while I was there, and don't remember much of the weekends.

So that was heartening as well. It was nice for once not to be the person drunkenly kissing other girls in the hot tub and passing out at only 10PM still wearing my wet swimming suit. Ugh. It probably sounds funny, or at the very least fun, but I don't need to be that person.

Way we go Brittany! Surviving a lake house visit with friends and remembering everything is real progress. unfortunately for me - I happen to own the lake house where all my family and friends want to come over and party so it is hard to keep my head straight at times. I will say that this year's stint so far has been a little bit different than past ones because out of all the partying there was only one night I really lost control. I certainly drank way to much but it seems that the nal keeps me from becoming a fool and taking everything to the next level.

I still have one week left of my lakehouse visit and I hope to bring the drink count down as there are no scheduled events here. But I do have a wedding to go to this week-end. I am hoping this is the first family wedding I can remember in a long time! That is my goal.

Thank you for posting Brittany your success is inspirational.

So I haven't posted in a while. I had started drinking more and I didn't feel like there was much positive to share, so I stopped posting. And then at some point last month I started feeling very depressed. I mean extremely depressed. And for some reason I blamed it on the pill. & I thought maybe I would cheer up if I stop taking the pill. So about 10 days ago, I stopped taking it. For whatever reason, I was denying the medical science and imagining that it wouldn't make a difference one way or the other since I have been drinking more anyway, and not having any more alcohol free days.

Anyway, don't deny the medical science, guys. All of a sudden I went from being tastefully tipsy most nights to absolutely out of my mind intoxicated all the time, even drinking during the day and during work. I I'm back to where I was before I started taking the pill and maybe worse. I found myself congratulating myself for not drinking an entire bottle of vodka within 24 hours. Seriously. I woke up and saw that it was only three quarters gone and I was proud of myself. I woke up this morning still wearing my clothes from last night and with the front door standing open. I don't even know why or how that happened.

This is bad. I have to go back on the pill. I'm going to ruin my life. I am scared to go any place where I can't wear sunglasses, like anywhere inside, because my eyes are telling the story of what's going on. They are so swollen and red. I'm only 33 years old. I am mostly doing an okay job of faking normality but I have flipped out on a few friends privately, And ruined a couple of friendships just in the last couple of weeks.