Hi all,

I have been a member of this forum for almost already 2 years I believe, and have started the method before, but also stopped. This was because I was and am taking benzodiazepine (and had a lot of trouble with coming off of them, but now finally have found professional help for this).

I am feeling I now really need to stop both, because almost stopping the diazepam made me drink more, and as they work on the samen receptors, it ended up giving me big anxiety and depressive feelings. Anxiety has been my problem before, including sleeping, but depression never has been my state of mind.

Given the stress of a recent reorganization at work (shedding 650 of 1500 people, and basically reorganization every function in the company), and me not working fulltime, but having to go through the selection process obligatory, made my vicious circle of diazepam and alcohol only worse. I had almost tapered al the diazepam to 0, but hearing after I got redundant in the end (which was three weeks ago), was a whole blowout for me.

I took a last minute holiday and managed to stay alcoholfree for 2 weeks! Obviously taking my usual dose of diazepam, but no alcohol at all except a virgin cocktail occasionally.

When I came back however, the confrontation about being redundant and happily not losing my job yet, but hearing I should not have gone through the selection process at all due to my reintegration process (I could fight this legally, but this could take a long time and a legal battle etc), made me have a huge binge (without nal). My binge lasted for 4 days and I came out of it, but I felt awful. Like really awful, not wanting to get into the shower and cancelling appointments.

I feel slightly better now and am determined to make the nal work. So here I go, starting again... Took my first pill yesterday and will not go and cancel social appointments and put myself in a pityparty because of this whole redundancy thing.

Got a chat with my old boss from a former job on Monday to see what I can do for temporary work for him in the next couple of months, so that's a start.

However, I need to stay compliant and not go into wallowing binging pityparties anymore. And that's why I need your support!

So, and I will start tracking again.

Yesterday, when I took my first tablet, I had only 2,5 US units. And I am also starkened by the fact that I have been alcoholfree during my whole holiday, which was the first time so long in almost a year!

And the summer is here, so I fully want to enjoy it and as I do not have to sit in the office the whole time, I can enjoy it outside.

I feel positive right now, but it will be a start of a bumpy ride again...

Cheers for now!

Hi Girlamsterdam

Good to hear from you, well done on the AF time, I always think that any AF time is good, it is all learning to be AF and live without it.

It has been thought that benzos affect the TSM process, but if you are going to drink, well might as well take nal are my thoughts.

My belief is that TSM requires commitment because you have to commit to taking the pill, and the addicted brain will find all sorts of reasons to stop it spoiling the 'fun'.

Looking forward to future updates.

I agree with UK it is indeed a commitment but the trade off is worth it. If you don't ever want to have that 4 day binge and awful hangover then just take the pill. I am seeing a counselor now too and she asked me yesterday if I had ever thought of missing the endorphin buzz and I had to think about that for a bit. The answer is yes I think maybe I do miss that but then I remember that that buzz was only good for about 10 minutes after the first drink and then I'd spend the rest of the night, week, month, year chasing it... So no I don't miss that in the least bit.

Unfortunately we are a little bit more complex then Sinclair's rats.

Welcome back girlamsterdam and good luck to you!!

Your post made me think about the benzo issue and I wanted to ask people here: I occasionally (Maybe once every week to once every two weeks), take a half a Xanax (or the generic equivalent) in order to sleep well. I don't know a lot about benzos, but I know that is one. Could that small amount of benzos have an effect on my success with TSM? Does anyone have a link where I can read up on this?

Thanks so much,

Newlife

welcome back and stay the course. we're with you!

Hi all, took my tablet yesterday and only had two units again! Today will be difficult though, sunny day with friends at the park...

I too have been taking the odd diazepam and this has made me wonder as well, if it's had an effect, or, am I just looking for an excuse?

Well I certainly think there is an interaction between the both. I just don't have the choice at this moment to stop the diazepam unless I continue tapering. What I do know, if I drink too much, my anxiety is much higher then when I would only drink/take my pill (not being nal). But tapering has to take time and I don't want to wait again with taking the nal...

So I think occasionally would do no harm but don't make it a daily business!

Argh, there I went again on a 3 day binge... And had to recover 2 days also, never felt so sick. And I took my pill but it apparently didn't help enough... Have to get some abstinence and stop taking Liquor to sleep. Wish me luck, I feel a little of limits now with my usage which is definitely more than normal and I skipped two nice events this week, festivals with friends! That sucks. Have to better my behavior, because my condition is not getting better this way... And I seem to lose interest in things I normally enjoy, that was never my purpose.

Any support is welcome!

Girlamsterdam

Dear Girlamsterdam,

Don't beat yourself up about the times when it does not work out as you want to. Just try to stick to the pill - always.

I know I have easy speaking, because I am in a wonderful honeymoon period, or a fast responder. But I noticed that on/ after AF days without taking a pill I feel much better.
When I started I was taking a pill for one week straight to get used to the side effects, and I was getting kind of depressed and feeling down. Also I was over sensitive and had quite some arguing with my husband at that time.

Maybe if you have the time try to do something very different for a day. That always helps me.
Go on a mini break, go to the beach ( I don't know where you live) stay at a nice hotel, distract yourself. Try to do something to break your normal behavior and the urge to drink.

And I know, those hangovers with the pill are killing. But stick to the method and you'll come out better. Every time you end up in hangover pain is another step towards the cure. You body and mind will learn that.