reboot---

like Maggie, I really drank as usual, and experienced a "honeymoon period" where cutting back was easier. not every week is perfect, but Nal has been a great tool for helping me look at AL in a different way. I still slip up and all, but in general I don't think about drinking as much and am beginning to develop a different attitude about it. best of luck to you and Nal on!

Maggie---

it's been a whirlwind, unbelievable week. this guy found his birth mom and she says it's me. we've exchanged some interesting information and pictures, and I had a really nice hour long talk with him on the phone.

I was really shocked and in denial at first, but now I think there's a better than 50/50 chance he's mine. I'm actually pretty excited at the prospect, but also don't want to get my hopes up. like I told him, I just REALLY WANT HIM TO FIND HIS DAD, whether it's me or someone else. feel free to PM me if you want more of my perspective.

Zontar: WOW!! I am adopted, and about sixteen years ago I found my birthmother, which then led to finding my birthfather. I am SO glad I did, so many pieces fell into place, but talk about a can of worms.............for a few years my birth mom and I had a mostly good relationship, but it was not sustainable, and I guess from what I have heard from others in the "birth triad" (Adoptionspeak), that is not unusual. However, sometime there IS a long lasting happy ending, and I think in any event, just making the contact is always a good thing. So, fasten your seat belt!!!

But I am SO proud of you for not using that as an excuse to drink. It is a LOT to handle. Good luck to you and feel free to PM or otherwise contact me if you want to talk about it to someone who has been through it, albeit from the other side.

Newlife

thanks for the support newlife! if seems there are a lot of interesting adoption stories around this site! now comes the waiting game, but I'm just taking it as it comes. how strange to have something that happened as a teenager reenter your life when you're a half-century old. I'd be curious to hear your perspective in a PM.

hugs zontar

Gosh Newlife - as Zontar said, there are a lot of interesting adoptee stories - hubs is one too! That is really neat finding your birthmother - did you go looking for her or did she find you ? And Zontar - I have PM'd you ...

Hugs, Maggie x

so far my 4th of July weekend has been going well. spent the day at the lake, then finally had a tall beer at a microbrewery near home. later had a large glass of wine in the evening. last year I think I polished off a 12-pack just being at the lake. I'm finding it helps if I wait wait wait before starting. hope today goes as well!

Sounding good Zontar - I find it really hard to wait that hour though - if I decide to drink, then take the Nal, I clock watch! Have a good day today ... I am having another AF day!!

Hugs, Maggie x

whoa! you're on a roll!!!!

I spoke too soon Zontar! AND I am painting ! I have decided that it is NOT a good idea to paint a ceiling with 2 Guinness under ones belt !! LOL.....

Hugs, Maggie x

Hi all. Busy 4th of July weekend with family visiting so I am behind in posting. Didn't track last week either, though I still am not seeing a huge difference. Some, but not huge.

Zontar- I PMed you, hope it helps. Hugs to you and best of luck with the reunion.

Maggie - I searched for my birthmother. She said that she would never have searched for me because in 1960 when I was born the women were told they should put it all behind them, etc etc. I grew up knowing I was adopted but never gave it much thought until both my parents passed away when I was in my mid to late twenties. This was pre the Internet, so it took me until age 37 to find her (not searching the whole time, sort of hit or miss). It was one of the best things I ever did, even though as it turned out we could not really sustain a relationship. Long story, but I know of a lot of other situations that end up the same way, including some of my other adopted siblings who also searched for and found their birthparents. It is a complicated subject for sure.

But I am still excited for Zontar and hoping he will get something great from this serendipitous happening. Not to sound stereotypical or reductive, but maybe men are just less complicated than women and more able to just take what they can from the situation. Also, women who have surrendered their children for adoption, especially in the "dark ages" when I was born, were given no support, no help, no counseling, were treated terribly and really suffered a lot. So it is bound to be complex for them if they are ever reunited with their children, especially if they haven't had the opportunity to work on themselves.

Well that it the end of my rant which is completely off topic anyway!!

Nal on everyone!! Hugs from Newlife

Yes, it was really hard way back, for pregnant single women - it was all hushed up and they had to act as if nothing had happened - so you might be right newlife with your feelings on it all .... but I am glad that you did find your birth mum no matter what ended up happening - I would imagine that it was good for you. I know that hubs was so upset when we went through all this recently thinking he had found blood relatives - and then finding that they probably are not! Even if your adoptive parents are great, I can see why one would want to find the birth mum ....

hugs, Maggie x