This last week, I got a bit reckless. Ended up passing my goal of 40. I guess I just didn't care. Partially using Nal as an excuse to drink I guess.

I saw a Therapist for the first time. It was quite nice to get to just talk to someone about the past and how I went from never drink alcohol 8 years ago to where I was in April.

In any case, The consumption has gone down, therefore I've not needed to buy as much alcohol. Infact I tossed out a few drinks because it "wasn't Fizzy enough." lol Guess I'm becoming a diet coke snob.

I stopped my local Liquor store where I usually always buy my usual and my Seek clerk Friend was so shocked when I showed up with 2 Diet cokes and he said:
Clerk: "...And??...."
Me: "thats it man, no Rum today!"
Clerk: "What! No more Alcohol?"
Me: "nope.. Drinking less.."
Clerk: "Who told you to drink Less?!" *Beep.. Beep*
Me: "Doctors.."
Clerk: "WHAT! Doctors don't know anything! You should drink more!"
Me: "Ha.... "

Whats even more funny is that my wife agrees with him that Doctors dont know anything. But she's just upset with her own Medical situation . Can't remember if I said it earlier, but the Wify is prego with #2, so She's always tired and hungry again. Which means she never wants to eat dinner with me since shes already eaten by the time I get home. I use this as an excuse to Play games and drink more. Really shouldn't.

Anyways, it's a new week and I will be conscience of how it goes. Also, My 2nd Term at my Masters Program at Western Governors University starts on July 1st, so I'll have to drink Much less in order to study.. haha..

Talk to you soon.

It's still very early on for you, GuyJeb, so hang in there.

Your liquor store clerk sounds like an idiot. That or jaded.

A second baby, as you know, is a wonderful motivation to be doing this. You want to be present and be the best dad you can be.

You will get there.

Newlife

Been a while since I updated.

I cannot seem to get back down under 40 Drinks a week. I know what the problem is. The Cravings have all but disappeared, but I am finding myself drinking out of habbit now. My habbit is drinking while PC gaming. When I dont do one, I dont do the other (that often.) If I'm not playing any games, I'll have maybe 1-2 light beers, some nights nothing at all. But If I am planning to get shitfaced and play GTA 5, Then I've got Coke Zero's and Rum all lined up for the night. I've tried reducing the intake to keep it at 9 or less, but I've been slipping.

Therapist feels that it's all habbit at this point, using the Hand to mouth motion. I guess it makes sense since when I'm at work (like now) I have to have a water or Coffee at my desk at arms reach.. Always. She did make a mistake though. I explained to her that I hate when any other human tells me that I can or cannot do something. Then at the end of the session she "challanged" me to only drink 3 drinks max at the next drinking session. After that, all I could think about was "F me.. 3 drinks? i'll never make it. F that. I'm going to do what I want" And so I did. I guess I need to work on - why do I want to do the opposite of what people tell me to do? Goes hand in hand with why I play video games now (youth figures banning me from playing them long ago). Aside from that, she still hasn't seen the Documentary "one little Pill"

ANYWAYS.. lol

At this point, I'm going to have to figure out a way to break my habit of drinking since the cravings are so diminished. I've been researching online for a "replacement." A drink I can enjoy creating - like home made soda's, tea, Crystal Light, anything that will make me enjoy it. Heck, maybe I'm just addicted to Splenda and have been putting Rum in it as supplement? lol

A goal for next week as well: I have to travel to an off site location for work. the only hotel is a Casino. So one thing I've always wanted to do was to use the fitness center there, but I always get so Shitfaced that I never go. I'd like to break that record this time. Would be nice.

See you all next week.

OMG, GuyJeb, I am laughing and nodding because I am exactly the same way!! I cannot stand to be told what to do. That is why diets never work for me. And AA surely would not work. So I am putting my faith in TSM.

Funny that I guess we don't like authority much, huh? LOL

I think your goal of using the fitness center at a cool hotel is a great one. Let us know how it goes.

Nal on!! Newlife

Guy Jeb,

I think you are doing great. If I can cut my drinking in half that quickly I will be extremely happy.

I also wanted to comment about being a parent. Drinking 80-100 "units" a week will ensure that you are not going to be a good parent. I am one who failed miserably in controlling my drinking. So although I loved my children, and would play with them as much as I could when I got home from long hours of work, what they remember is my bad alcohol breath, my slurring, my not making sense and my outbursts. Most of which I did not remember doing the next morning when the whole family was looking at me funny. My children are 18 and 19 now and one of them is constantly telling me that I was never there for him and was always drunk or working - which was true because I was either working 60-70 hours a week at office or on the computer at home working with a stiff drink or I was hungover and not able to get up for his Saturday morning games. I can do nothing to change that but I can always let others know that drinking effects your children more than you will ever know.

Congratulations on number 2 and continue the great work.

Newlife,
Thanks for the encouragement and info. I noticed that I rebel against people like this is weird ways. When I first saw it was when I decided to ride down a street on a single-speed shogun bicycle with no hands and got blasted by a gust of wind which nocked me down and broke my collar bone. The doctor later told me I'll never be a body builder because of it. that got me so mad that someone felt they had the authority to tell me I couldnt do something that I ended up joining a gym and started lifting weights. Finally hit 300 on a Deadlift then stopped going. But anyway, Yeah.. I used to get in fights with my wife while trying to order food at burger king. She was being a dear and just wanted to share a combo with me, but somehow in my stupid brain I thought she was saying "your fat, you should eat less, i'm going to make you share a small combo with me so you lose weight". LOL. to which my brain said "Who the F does this person think she is tyring to tell me what I can and can't eat?" About 2 hours later and a bucket full of apologies, we laughed about it afterwards. But it's crazy that I keep doing this.


reboot,
Wow, thats quite a wake up call for me. Welcome to TSM group! I feel like your stats are same as mine when I began TSM. I started on Hard Liqour with Captain and diet cokeabout 6 years ago. I know it sounds weird, but due to Nal and TSM I am finding myself going in reverse.. like drinking less rum and 'trying' to have more light beer. It sure is easy for me to have 10 shots (4-5 Rum and diet cokes) vs having 10 bud light limes.

anyways I'll be following your posts

-Jeb

I've had a lot of trouble with the habit of drinking too. I've found that making interesting/elaborate non-alcoholic drinks fits the bill somewhat. I've been using lemon flavored soda with cranberry juice. The tartness give it some "bite".

I don't know if it'd be too "gateway" for you, but there are imitation rum extracts out there for baking. Maybe a drop of that in your coke and you'd forget the alcohol? Or pour half the rum you normally would and make up the rest with that extract or various bitters? I know I like Agosturga bitters in Pepsi (sorta gets me the taste of Moxie without having to hunt down Moxie on the West Coast).

I'm a lot like you too Jeb. Not only don't like to be told what to do but with the PC gaming. Funny thing is I was thinking that since I like to drink and game at the same time I was wondering if my love of PC gaming would become extinct along with the booze hahahah.

My game of choice as of the last year is COD. I'll come home and consume 4 beers the first hour while playing before I go do something else and then often time come back at the end of the night and consume more. I think it's easy in between spawns to pound down a half a glass of beer.

So far TSM has squashed my desire to drink to excess so I'm finding that if I feel like I need to pound down a beer it's probably because I'm actually thirsty so I have some water handy. Filling up on water seems to help.

I've also wondered about NA beer.

I've been gone a while. Things have not been too good. I've been loosing count. It feels like the Nal is either not as effective or I'm just used to the effects.

Grandmother passed away, and a cousin either OD'd or Committed suicide while on drugs. It's unclear which at the moment...

I've been in the 40's for the last couple of weeks. I do not like that my Progress has stalled. I've even stopped going to the gym which has really bugged me a lot. School started up again so I can't slack much more now.

Last Doc visit he told me don't come back for 3 months and extended my Prescription. he asked me what "Sobriety" looks like to me. I thought he meant Sober, but now I understand what he meant. So I responded with "Standard American Average accepted allowance for men" He asked "what is that to you?" To which I said "14 drinks a week or less." Then he wrote it down and said see you in 3 months.

So I guess that is my end goal now.


I tried to switch to only beer and wine as it's incredibly hard for me to have 10 units of Bud light lime in one night, but very easy for me to have 10 units of rum in one night. But one day I just freaked out that I was about to go home and have no rum in the house. Why? Why do I "Need that Option" available? It's like the same feeling when I go to a Mexican Taquaria... I see a salsa bar and I Must get at least 3-5 different types of salsa so I can Try them out. It's Like I'm addicted to options or something. Like I just didn't want to be home and know that I do not have the option/freedom/choice to drink tonight because Its not in the house. I'd have to go back out to the store and get it. So Even though I wasn't planning on drinking that night, I made a stop on the way home.

I found a study that shows a correlation between video games and Substance (Alcohol, caffeine, tobacco, marijuana) abuse which got me interested the "WHY" I drink. Again as I've said before - Gaming makes me want to drink more. I think it's because I'm alone with a headset. I recently setup the Projector in the living room so my son and I can watch movies together. I found I drink far less when I'm doing that.

I think I just need to plan my evenings better - have more non-alcoholic things to do - like making dinner, continue working on making a home theater, etc..

I also think I'm addicted to artificial sweeteners.. Without them, the drinks taste like ****. I mean, I have 2 splenda coffees in the morning, a diet coke in the afternoon or lunch. then diet sprite/diet coke and rum the rest of the night. I even once put splenda in wine because it tasted so bad... What is wrong with me? Im not even a diabetic.. My wife is though.. Only during pregnancy.


Anyways.. I've rambled to much. I'm at 22 this week and it's Thursday. I think it's time for me to break the record and get under 40 Drinks. I'm sure I could even make it to 35 or less. I just Freaking wish this would end faster.. But It's up to me. The Cravings are nearly gone, it's just my routine and habits that remain...

You are still well down on your previous drinking.

Yes many alcoholics do have a liking for sugar. Some feed it, others recommended cutting it out.

Changing what you do is a good idea

Did you also know that having lots of choice is known to make overeating more likely?