Yikes craving--did you really mean 2-3 years? I'm really at the end of my rope with this and don't think I can wait that long.

Right now he's doing abstinence in "chunks", which is all that he can realistically face. His first chunk is this week, before our trip. I know the ADE theory-- that he'll just want to drink more on the trip after a period of abstinence. BUt he's a binge drinker and seems to get on a roll with alcohol. Once the furnace has been stoked (with alcohol) he can't put the fire out and just drinks out of control. The hope is that a few AF days will allow him to follow the advice given here--to not drink until evenings on the trip (if he has to drink at all).

There's really no way for us to get nal before we leave, but if he's still drinking when we get home ( who wants to make a bet on this one?????????) I think he'll want to try the method. He's reading the book--he's not a skimmer like me, so its taking awhile--and seems intrigued.

I'm wondering if any here have achieved abstinence, or at least 5-6 AF days/week, after doing the program? it still scares me to embark on this. And yes, I have read Eskapra's letter--over and over. But this side of the addiction becomes a place you have to leave at some point. And I'm at that point.

hopeful,

Have a look at this excellent summary
http://hamsnetwork.org/sinclair.pdf

What I like best is page 4 the curve of extinction with time and units per week.

You will see a difference quite fast, but this is not a magic pill - the more often your husband drinks the better it works.

I have seen several people here that got AF days after they took Nal. I am myself constantly at 4 AF days per week now, which would have been very difficult without Nal.

I know the medicine works, but it can not work within moments of time. You will simply need to be patient and give it a minimum of 6-12 months before you actually say it worked or not.

All the best of you luck to you both

The two to three years to which craving refers is the length of time subjects in a Sinclair study continued to see improvement. This is another stark contrast with TSM and other treatment modalities: Rather than continuing to improve, most alcohol addicts relapse and even get worse over time in other methods. Sinclair found that after the initial three-to-six month period to effect a cure, drinking continued to diminish to a mean of nine drinks per week, including many who choose abstinence.

I'm going to be very frank: Does your husband have any say at all in his treatment? I've heard you mention little if any about his perspective. He does seem to be trying desperately to comply with your plan. There seems to be a great deal of tension building about the upcoming Maui trip. Please don't let panicky feelings about this trip drive short-term decisions about a long-term approach.

All the best.

I read through this thread rather quickly so forgive me if I miss the mark.
For one thing, two or three week abstinense is of no consequence. Two to three years would be. And failed abstinense episodes only strengthen the alcohol addiction. Sinclair discovered that when he learned to addict rats to alcohol.

I can only definitively vouch for myself that this works. I was very deparate last January. Only desparate people buy books of Eskapa's title. To make a long story short, I am cured of the addiction of alcohol. I can chose to drink or not to do same. That was not my option six months ago. I never have the urge to get drunk.

If you want your husband to get where I am at, I recommend the Sinclair method. This sin't snake oil. But is is a process. If you time it right, he can start taking the Naltrexone on the first day of you vacation. Most of us have experienced a honeymoon of dimimished desire for a period of time in the beginning. But he will return to full capacity after some time.

Your role would best be as "compliance officer". Your husband should take naltrexone one hour before drinking and then drink as normal. The will be hills and valleys. Let the process work.

In six months you will have an old man you don't recognize.

Thank you all.

Lena, you asked a fair question about whether he has a say in his own treatment. I wish I could say "yes", without reservation. But the honest answer is both "yes" and "no". I've learned that he's going to do what he's going to do, no matter what suggestions or demands I make, or what concessions or promises he makes. But what he does depends (usually) on whether he believes I'm ready to leave him if he doesn't get a grip. So when his feet are to the fire, as they are right now, he finds a way to change his mind set. That's how he did his year of abstinence--just decided one day to do it, tossed his antabuse pills, and made it seem easy (I know it wasn't, but from the outside it looked that way). That's also how he agreed to do a 30 day rehab some years ago, an out patient rehab before that, and counseling off and on. Yeah--its been along road.

There is no way to get naltrexone before we leave (Saturday). I've lowered my expectations, and somehow we'll get through the trip. I'm pretty sure he's planning to try "moderate" drinking on the trip, and is going to negotiate with me to accept it (without sneaking). I'm not sure how to handle it. The kids will flip out if he drinks in front of him, so there will still be some sneaking involved--just not from me. I'd like to suggest rules for him (no shooters, nothing before 5 or 6 pm, only in front of me). If he stuck to these, I really wouldn't have a big problem with him drinking on the trip (just knowing about TSM as possible cure for him down the line makes all of this easier). I've even thought that maybe the two of us could plan to slip out to the bar in the evening for him to have a couple of drinks, without the kids seeing, but without sneaking or going overboard. Does that seem crazy? Does it sound do-able?

His plan is to try abstinence again after the trip, and if he slips up, ask his doc for the naltrexone. I think he's a good candidate for it, and if that's where he has to go to kill this beast, I will support him--albeit with some fear. I've read Springrider's post about still attempting to use some amount of control, or stretching the envelope before caving to a drink--which makes sense to me, and makes it easier for me to accept the thought of him going back to his regular drinking--but maybe with some of the above "rules". If he's not starting the party at 9am on Sat and Sunday, I might be able to handle it. The kids will need an education on TSM before we start though--I want this to be above board after all the years of sneaking and the resulting distrust. It will not be an easy sell, but in spite of everyting, they love their dad and will want what's best for him.

I see progress being posted by some of you. Congratulations to all of you who are there, almost there, on your way there, wondering if you will ever get there but staying the course.......I look forward to seeing all of you posting your great successes in the months to come. Maybe my husband will be among you.

Hopeful,

What an incredible caring spouse you are. So many after going through hell, throw their arms in the air and just give up. Kudos to you.....your love must be strong, and your marriage is definately worth fighting for, so is your husband.

I have tried to abstain a number of time, the most being 4 months. When I initially read of TSM (The Sinclair Method) I thought, 'if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is'. In this case, it isn't so. Because it still isn't a walk in the park. There will be times of minimal drinking, them insane spikes and depressive thoughts--'what the hell happened? I thought I was getting better?!'.

This program is a god send. I am only on week 3, but have already felt such a difference, it's incredible.

None of us can tell you what to do....we can tell you our experiences and leave the judgement up to you AND your husband. He needs to be included. Have him come online and read the progresses. He will no longer think it's a load of crap.

I wish you both the very best and look forward to hearing how things work out. Have a fantabulous time in Hawaii! I am so envious!!!!!

Take care....
Christy

There is no way to get naltrexone before we leave (Saturday).

Hopeful, maybe there is someone who can FedEx some to get you started. I would but I live in Canada, and well, quite honestly, it would take FOREVER! I think Hawaii would be gone due to global warming before you'd receive them.

I would order then anyway, and see if someone can send you some to get you by for the vacay!

Godspeed to you and your family on your trip and on this journey. We are here for you and for your husband if he decides to join us.

SpringerRider definitely was referring to using willpower in the context of NALTREXONE DRINKING; i.e. creating an alcohol deprivation effect, then drinking ON NALTREXONE to extinguish that. He tried this in the later stages of his cure process, and it's an interesting but novel and untested idea. Springer would NEVER drink without NAL. I hope you understood this but it wasn't clear to me from your post.

I meant before to also ask you to read Goin4More's powerful post on the Concerned Spouse thread but I assume you've done that. I hope it hit the mark.

Strong heart in your doings.

Yes, lena--I've read both posts for the "concerned spuse". Very good info.

I also do understand that Springrider was talking about stretching the envelope--by delaying that first drink a bit-- only on nal. The reason it makes sense to me is that, while this is principally a brain chemistry issue, there also seems to be an issue of mind set and habit. Some training of the mind along with getting rid of the chemicially induced cravings seems like it would make progress on TSM quicker. Of course, I am a complete no nothing on the subject--I hesitate to even post my feelings on this. But if my husband does start TSM, I'm going to have him read Springrider's post.

Aloha!